Confused

“Clove? Clove, get back here! We need to talk tactics, now!” Lysander’s voice doesn’t have an affect on me as I march out of the compartment. I don’t want this. Any of it. However grand people manage to make it sound, it’s really not. I’ve just witnessed watching 23 people’s names be read out, the names of people I’m going to have to try to murder.
“She’s an idiot, she’ll get nowhere in these games, I can tell you.” I have the urge to march right back in and slap Hallien for that comment, but I rest my back against the side of the corridor and listen to what they have to say about me when I’m not there.
“Shut up. Just shut up about her, OK? She doesn’t deserve this. Maybe she’s nervous. But trust me, she’ll win this thing.” Cato. Why? Why is he making me like him, why is he standing up for me, why is he doing this?
“And how do you know she’ll win it?” Lysander’s voice is hushed, maybe he knows that I’m outside the door. There’s silence for a minute, they’re probably all sizing each other up and looking for weapons around the car.
“Let me talk to her.”

I sidle down the corridor, trying to stay out of sight, and make a number of turns. The train is like a maze, if that’s even possible.
“What the hell was that, Clove?” I gasp as I’m spun around and shoved against the wall. Cato looks dangerous, and for the first time, instead of feeling envy when I look at him, I feel fear.
“What was what?” I glare at him. We stare each other down for a minute, then he lets go, sighing. I stay where I am, though. I want a reason before I leave, and so does he.
“Look, I know you’re probably scared, Clove, and -”
“I’m not a little girl, Cato! I know how to look after myself, OK? I can defend myself. I’ve been training since I was tiny.” My voice is still quiet, I don’t want Lysander or Hallien dragging us apart. I want to get my point across, at least.
“You still are tiny.” He smirks and looks down on me.
“Shut up.”
“Why?” The humour in his voice is annoying. This isn’t a joke.
“You are so stupid, Cato Kaeron! I wish I was at home, and someone had volunteered. Actually, why aren’t I at home?” He smiles again when I say his name, and I snarl in return. He seems so natural and kind when he’s not being a - No. I can’t think like that. I’m going into a death match with him.
“I’m not supposed to tell you.” I gasp. He knows something I don’t.
“What? What’s happening, Cato?”
“Like I said, I’m not supposed to tell you.” The cockiness in his manner makes me want to punch him, like our first meeting.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t, though.”
“I was waiting for you to say that.”
“Tell me, then.” I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow.
“Fine. The Volunteer Board. They saw you train the other day. This sounds so stupid, but they knew you would be reaped. When you were ill, a few weeks ago, they called a meeting. They told no female to volunteer. Most girls were just angry, because it was their last chance, you know? But a lot were quite thankful. The girls weren’t exactly strong this year. They thought you’d be better than most of the 18 year olds.”
“So they messed with the system so an under 18 could be tribute.” I realise how angry I sound. I’m shaking. This isn’t possible. They’d taken my name out on purpose, “Did Pentha know?”
“I think so, but don’t go back there, Clove. Please. I don’t want you dead before the arena.”
“Yeah, you don’t want me dead before the arena. Because when we’re in the arena you can kill me yourself.” I spit out my words, my fists clenched.
“No Clove. No.” He looks at me properly, staring hard into my eyes. His are blue. Large, blue, and glittering slightly. I blink and shake myself out of his gaze, which I feel I was falling into.
“What do you mean?” I look at the floor, my head a jumbled mess.
“We’re allies. I won’t kill you.” His feet are shuffling slightly as he speaks.
“Until we’re the last two left, what will you do then?” There’s a long pause, in which we both manage to find each other’s gaze again. He frowns a little, and I want to know what’s running through his head.
“I’ll work something out.” He turns and walks away from me.

I edge back into the room slowly, Lysander and Hallien raise their eyebrows when I do.
“Finally decided to come back, then?” Hallien questions with another sweet smile. I nod, trying not to show emotion. Cato’s trying to catch my eye and I’m ignoring him. I’m not going to show the mentors, or Pentha, any knowledge of the conversation we shared. Pentha’s examining my expression, trying to pick faults in it. I keep my head high and try to hold back my anger. She knew all along.
“Well then, tactics?” Lysander stands up from the large armchair he was slouching in, “We know that you two are pretty skilled with weapons. Cato, Pentha has told me about your swords. And Clove, we heard you were good with knives?” He turns to me and I smile a little.
“Maybe.” I can already feel my mouth twisting into a cocky smirk, something I feel comfortable with. Lysander picks up a dessert knife from the sideboard, which is covered in extravagant cakes and nibbles.
“Show us what you can do, then.” He points to a cake, a huge, tiered thing that looks like it should belong in a Capitol wedding reception. I grin, knowing what he wants me to do.
“I need more knives.” He hands me a couple of teaspoons instead, which make me laugh. Pentha backs up and I laugh again. Is she scared of me? Hallien nods and Lysander stands beside her. Cato is staring at me intently, waiting for me to throw. His gaze is distracting, and my stomach twists and turns.
“Go on then.” Lysander has one eyebrow raised in disdain, he doesn’t think I can do it. I raise the knife to my shoulder and throw it, watching as it slices the cake in two. Lysander claps and I can see a genuine smile on his lips and in his eyes. This gives me confidence and I throw the spoons with ease, cutting off chunks for each of us. Hallien actually looks impressed, but Pentha looks terrified. At least she knows now that I could kill her if I wanted to.
“Nice.” Cato pats my arm and hands me a piece of cake.
“Thanks, but you’re more likely to impress than I am.” I laugh and pick apart the cake thoughtfully.
“Not really. That was pretty amazing.” He’s doing it again. Standing close beside me and making me awkward and confused. I sit down, on a separate chair, away from him. Leaving the conversation as soon as it starts. I can’t afford to form any sort of close bond with him. Even friendship.

“Look! Look at it!” Cato’s out of his seat and at the window almost as fast as me. The Capitol. It stands tall and proud. 2 sleepless nights on a train. Long, painful conversations about death and tactics. Now we’re here. Now we’re allowed to calm down and just train like we do at home, for a few weeks, at least.
“That’s incredible.” At least Cato can form words, whilst I’m completely speechless. The train station is clogged with people, craning their necks to catch a glimpse of us. I take one look at Cato, who has a huge smile on his face, and turn back to the Capitol citizens, smiling alongside him. We’re supposed to be happy to be here. This is the first time that I almost feel that. The train slows to a halt and we get pulled from the window and bustled to another exit. I almost feel sorry for the screaming, gaudy members of the public. They probably expect us to glide through the crowd and embrace their bets and drunken sponsor promises, but we don’t.
“There’s 1.” Cato mutters in my ear, and c***s his head towards the group in front of us. I spot her immediately, Glimmer. Her long, wavy blonde hair bounces down her back as she struts across the platform, followed by Marvel, who still can’t stop staring at her. I can see her eyes, which are a startling bright shade of green, glowing softly. She’s wearing a dress, and I couldn’t imagine her in anything else. It’s embedded with glitter, and shimmers slightly as she turns. Marvel’s in a tan jacket and fitted trousers, which make him look less outgrown than he did in what he wore at the reaping. I catch his eye and wink, hoping that the alliance idea works. He grins back and I know that we might just have our Career pack sorted.
“They don’t seem all that lame this year.” I stretch onto my tiptoes and whisper into Cato’s ear. The height difference must look hilarious to everyone else, “We definitely won’t be without sponsors.”
“We’ll be without brains though.” His teeth grind together as he mumbles back, and I can’t help the loud giggle burst from my lips. Glimmer and brains don’t seem to match.
“Maybe we can get someone from 3 to help, or something.”
“Yeah, maybe. You’re pretty smart though. Well, smarter than her.” He nods at Glimmer, who’s shamelessly flirting with a Peacekeeper, batting her eyelashes and shaking her hair. Typical 1.
“Sort of. You never know, though. She might be smarter than she looks.” I press my lips together and try not to smile, but as soon as I turn back to Cato, we both erupt into laughter again.
“You two, remake’s this way.” Pentha shakes her head and marks something on her clipboard, then points to the large, white building in front of us.