I whispered lightly as a rose

I whispered lightly as a rose

To grease my oily bagpipe,

And sniffing with her hairy nose

A dwarf flew into sight.

 

‘Pull down your flabby chopsticks, man.’

She ordered like a waiter,

And lowering my name to Stan

Got on all fours to cater.

 

‘I am Dame Doris Chucklebum.’

She laughed but half an inch.

‘I like things that are rarely done.’

Then stroked me with a pinch.

 

‘Take back thy sweaty chollocks, love.’

I pleaded like a pro,

And with a hefty boxing glove

Took on the lady so.

 

It lasted less than half a tick,

Less if you counted slow.

And with a little knowing trick

Fled fleeing on the go.

 

‘Come back! Don’t go!’ she wept with ploy,

‘I’ll change like Whitney Whopper.’

Enjoying but a little joy

And playing with her chopper.

Reviews

[jcfrancis]

Love it! Can't get the name Dame Doris Chucklebum out of my head. This poem has such a nice flow to it. You've got so much good stuff to read. Just need to find the time...

[Wayne Riley]

Thank you for your wonderful comment. I know I've said that before. But I really do appreciate it.