ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE MY WIFE...#6

I love my wife's little intricacies; the salt in my coffee, the bleach in my bath tub, and, after 20 or so years of happiness together it is no surprise that her sense of humour has rubbed off on me. The other day, while I was indulging her latest whim and destroying the myth also that rubber hammers can indeed render the recipient unconscious for quite a considerable time from one well aimed blow to the cranium, never mind the flurry and gusto with which my wife sought to reign down on me, I had the sneaking suspicion that all was not a bed of roses with our relationship. And so, the romantic that I am, I decided to do something about it. Low and behold, 3 frantic and fraught days later I was ready to surprise my wife.
'What is it?' she asked, her eyes narrowing into that all too familiar gunslingers glare, the type they give just before they fill you with a belly full o' lead.
'Calm down my anxious little teddy bear,' I reassured her as I lovingly kissed her on the back of her hand she'd brought up to meet my face. 'It's a life sized statue of my Mum - your Mother - in Law, and it's made entirely out of plaster cast so we can put it in the garden. I thought it would make a fantastic focal point and a wonderful conversation piece.'
'Has she seen it?' my wife then asked, obviously referring to my Mum, her Mother - in - Law. A loving statement, I thought, made all the more remarkable through a sudden onset of a spasm which made her face twist and contort into a grotesque haggish hag.
'Er, not from this side, no,' I said, softly massaging her cheeks to alleviate the pain in her jaw. 'I just hope we can salvage the cast when she finally breaks her way out?' I added hopefully.