ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE MY WIFE...

Another reason why i love my wife and it’s not solely for her cooking skills. Oh no, although she does throw a mean lasagne. I should know i have the scars and broken plate to prove it. Having said that, quietly to myself of course, my wife’s culinary capabilities have taken on a life of their own and it’s all down to that fabulous T.V. show, ‘The Great British Bump Off’ as my wife jokingly likes to call it.

‘Try a slice of cherry cake, Its Mary Berry’s showstopper that is!’ Insisted my wife and assuring me that it wouldn’t aggravate my mysteriously sudden onset of IBS or the slight tremor in my right leg. ‘You never know, it might even stop you moving altogether?’

 I must say, the caustic, almost turpentine taste complimented the oily texture splendidly. The only slight criticism, and i don’t want to be seen to be nitpicking here, was the large shard of glass she used to sharpen the flavour almost severed my tongue as i swallowed it, causing my wife to react in a way that she found it impossible to get any medical assistance.

‘It’s a nervous laugh,’ she said, looking somewhat hurt as she tenderly stroked my hand while the nurse painstakingly stitched my tongue back together. Luckily for me i had my wits about me and was able to text my dyslexic neighbour an SAS message shortly before passing out.