my story

It was the bottom of the ninth inning my team in a dead tie, me the last chance to win. the cool wind rushing through my hair I step up to the plate trying to block out all the screaming of the fans surronding the field. i go to the plate and when i block out the noise there was only 2 people on the field, me and the pitcher. Five pitches later the count runs full,the hairs on the back of my neck standing up straighter than a building. I step out of the box take of my helmet and run a hand through my hair. I scan the stands trying to find her,then i spot her. My mom sitting behind center fwild. I think of all the time she spent getting me to practice as a kid and how much she cares about me. With out noticing, a small grin grew on my face. Then i step back in the batters box. I take a swing at the pitch. Then I heard the crack of my back and took off running as the ball sailed in the air. By the time i reached second base i realized the ball had landed in the stands. I had just one the game. I was a hero. My coach handed me the game ball after the game and the team cheered for me as I left. When i step outside I feel the cool October breeze and see my mom standing by My car. I walked over and gave her a hug, then handed her the game ball. She asked," Why did you give me the game ball, your the one who deserves it." Then i responded," Your the one who deserves it if it wasn't for you i woudln't be here right now."

 

 

                                        Fin

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Becca*Type2012]

Nice story! I liked how you gave the game ball to you mother at the end of the story. Again nice story, but I noticed that some of thw word choice was a little off (ex "I one the game." should have been I won the game), but nice story overall.

[[untitled]]

Wow...that's really sweet, and suting for today. The story could have used more detail and I found the spelling, punctuation and capitalization errors a bit distracting. I loved your message, though. It's great when children appreciate what their parents do for them. :)

[Justin Tobey]

Moving. I personally don't much care for sports, so I didn't understand that part, but the end token to your mother was very nice. Good job, and welcome to WritersCafe!