Bloodstream

I wrote this after experiencing a particularly dark period of depression, a time of harsh memory and pain. Forgive me if it goes astray...

I found my chemistry today.

 

It screamed at me from beneath the microscope lens.

Swirls of oily color and warring black sheep,

Oozing and bleating after a place of dominance.

 

Petulant sunlight threw darts at defiant globules.

I dropped the blinds to keep things fair and only slightly crooked.

Unfamiliar music plied the air with deliberate purpose,

Trying to flex its sense of purpose.

 

Baby fists flailing and raucous gasping let me know that I am lost and impotent.

Lint on my pants was more important than truth, just then.

Cartoon photography paints a bitter picture, and I adjust my chair.

My mother smiled as she pissed her pants, I recalled.

 

‘Where is the helix’, I wondered aloud.

‘There is none.’ A pause.

‘There is only you.’ A breath, then, without oxygen:

‘Shove the needle a little further under the nail.’

 

No one will see, and…

It will only sting for an hour or so…

Reviews

[Ms. Gruye]

you first three stanzas set up an interesting premise to impossible images swirling about under a microscope, and I quite enjoyed the way you used those images to divulge biographical details. [though your use of black sheep, and sheep in general are a bit cliched, sorry to say everyone's got sheep and sheep distain].

i do feel the last two stanza's should be reworked to maximize the impact of your voice. it becomes less image driven and philosophical, and you handled that transition rather abruptly.

All in all, this is strong base for an unstoppable diatribe. thanks for sharing
viva la

[Sami Khalil]

"Petulant sunlight threw darts at defiant globules.

I dropped the blinds to keep things fair and only slightly crooked.

Unfamiliar music plied the air with deliberate purpose,

Trying to flex its sense of purpose."

A very nice poem. I like those lines the most...:)

[Bexfinch]

it is awsome

[Patricia Chase]

the four lines starting with petulant sunlight are my favorite.. nice work

[Sabbath_Nikole]

Ouch. I got this problem with needles. Ouchies. To the writing though. It's pretty awesome. Favorite line
"Unfamiliar music plied the air with deliberate purpose," I also find your use of sheep interesting. You never think that sheep would try for donimance. But i really like the contradiction. It's different and refreshing and honest. Kudos