Empty

My late night thoughts.

I come to type my emotions, 

To get everything out of my head,

Thats what they say helps, right?

However looking at the blank piece of paper

And one thing stays the same, it remains empty.

I guess this is how i feel. 

I am empty,

Every last emotion has been drained from my body

So much so that it is now exhausted 

To point where i feel as though i can no longer go on.

But i will.

 I have to?

What other choice do i have?

I am weak and so vulnerable 

And i know you know. 

Yet what do you do? 

You continue to play your mind games 

As though you are oblivious to how i feel about you.

I know you know. 

So tell me,

Why do you intentionally continue these games?

do they make you feel big?

 do you enjoy making others feel small?

I cannot begin to comprehend what you get from this. 

Yet i allow you to do so

What a fool I am

I allow you to pull my heart from my chest

I allow you to kick me to the ground 

I allow you to manipulate my good soul

and then to make matters worse

I apologise for getting blood on your shirt.

I apologise for assuming you do such things with bad intentions

I know I'm a fool. 

But for some reason i hold on to this vision 

That maybe one day you will change 

I will look back on this sad memory 

And it simply be that, 

A sad memory.

 However i know that is not the case. 

You will continue to abuse my love

Until your abuse becomes tangible on my body in the form of scars and wounds,

 Then will that be enough? 

Then will you cease the power over me,

 That you seem so eager to hold over me?

 Maybe so. 

Unfortunately, this will be too late. 

See currently, these thoughts remain in my head. 

They continually spin around and around

 And they will continue to manifest every thought i have. 

Then, when they have taken over,

 i fear they will be strong enough to control my moves, my actions. 

And i am scared.

Because when they do so,

I will no longer be able to fight them off. thats when you'll be done, 

When its too late. 

Author's Note

please let me know what you think as i am new to this! it is simply my thoughts during my lonely late nights so please no hate.

Reviews

[t.m.]

This is very relatable! Definitely going into my favorites. It describes depression and painful love so accurately, I love it. Thank you for writing this. It's beautiful.

[wesecret12]

Thank you! That means so much.