A Day in the Life...

The years teach much which the days never knew. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson {First Published by me on 01/09/2008}

A day in the life......

of lupus....I wake up at 2 a.m., my head is hurting, but that isn't what woke me...it was the muscle spasms-like charlie horses-ripping through my back, hips or sides. I get up, and try to stretch them out. Hoping they have passed, I lie back down... Another one hits me in-between my shoulders...I can't lay down, it hurts too much. I go to the kitchen, stumble around for the light...then the medicine bottle...that is the only light I really see...in about a half an hour I will be able to lay back down and sleep. I go to the basement, smoke a cigarette...and wait...30 minutes...Is it safe yet? As I climb the basement stairs, the sound of my knees and hips grinding is an unsettling sound, my joints are swollen, and painful. I make it upstairs, and head for the bedroom. I lay down, my hubby is lying there, not sleeping, just waiting for me to get back in bed. I lie down.....whew... nothing....good...now I can sleep, but I am afraid to move around too much, just in case~the more movement ~ the more likely I am to have a spasm~if the medicine hasn't taken total effect yet. So I lie still, waiting to doze off, finally sleep...5 o'clock the alarm rings...I sit up on the side of the bed, fumble for my robe head out to the kitchen to make coffee. The swelling in my feet is the decision maker if I trek to the basement for a cigarette most days, today it isn't worth the trip. My head still hurts, it will be a migraine if I don't take something...not the heavy stuff though, I have too much to do today, and I won't be worth a s**t if I take my migraine medicine...so Excedrin migraine will have to do for now (it dulls the pain enough for me to function). I throw them back with a gulp of coffee. Hubby off to work, kids downstairs for breakfast...little one is still sleeping. I sit on the couch, and watch the news. Kids off to school, little one wakes up, I change him, dress him ( he is so damn cute!!). It hurts to bend over and change him....like needles sticking me in my back, neck and between my shoulders. It takes twice as long as it should...he is so patient(although I am sure that won't last too much longer LOL). I finish, lift him to put him on the floor, tears welling up in my eyes, the weight of his little body in my arms.....hurts too....I put him down and he toddles on his way. I go to the kitchen, milk for him, cereal in his snack cup, and he is on the move. I sit down at the computer, my back is hurting, shoulders in pain, my arms feel like they weigh a ton. Just a quick email to my friends so they don't think I am dead...it hurts to hold my head up...the light from the computer makes my eyes water...my hands cramp from trying to type...I drop a few notes to a few people, and get up. I go into the kitchen, run water for dishes, wipe the counters down...the muscles spasms return...the muscles in my sides feel like they are going to burst out...I lean over...doing this crazy stretching dance because both are going at the same time...it passes...a deep breath...and continue with this insane muscle spasm induced dance as I mop the floor in the kitchen, clean the bathroom, make the beds and sweep the floors...I have completed the tasks...whew...I go to the living room to sit down...I can't...as I sit down on the couch my feet start spasming, then my legs, then sides, then shoulders...I can't sit...so I get up and walk...pacing back and forth in the house...dining room to living room...living room to dining room, my little one thinks it is a game....so he walks with me.....mocking my grunts and groans **uuuhhh***mmmhhh**....I make an attempt to sit again...nope still not time...we walk some more...40 minutes and a pill later, we sit on the couch...muscles twitching....we watch tv for a bit....my little one is tired, time for nap...we have lunch and I put him to sleep. I sit down at the computer again...feet and knees are swollen the point I can feel the stretching of my skin when I bend them to sit...the screen is still too bright...head hurting...two more Excedrin....the countdown begins to when hubby gets home...I can take my migraine pill, and my pain killerz.....**the jeopardy theme starts playing in my head** “it won't be long...you can do this” I tell myself....I am so tired, my body is tired, not sleepy ~ tired...

this is a part of a “lupus day” for me...as my friends and I call it....it is only a part of the day...I am not looking for pity, sympathy, or “I wish I could help”...just wanted to give an understanding of what this disease is...not every day is bad....but, everyday is painful...everyday is full of medicine....some days I can walk 3-5 miles and not have anything more than swollen joints...other days I can hardly walk. Some days the muscle spasms are next to nothing....just a few minor here and there....other days~ it is hard to keep my head up mentally, emotionally, and physically~yes physically my neck and shoulders hurt so bad some days....that it hurts to hold my head up. I was lectured the other day for not writing by a “friend”....this is for them.

Reviews

[TeacherAtHeart]

Sad story..but reality isn't always pretty.
Honey..this made me feel so much.
You sure make up for it in your great sex stories.
For someone having lupus..you have GREAT sex stories.
You are such a fighter..EVERYDAY!!
Never give up..that's all I can say..Never Give Up!!
HUGS!!