The River Bottom

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires. ~ Abigail Van Buren

The river bottom....this is where she hung out with her close friends and boyfriend(s) on Friday and Saturday nights. She would hop into someone's truck or car and they would head out...just a few miles out of town back then. Since then, the river bottom has been engulfed by houses and buildings in an ever populating city... 

The memories though, that were once good, turned to memories that are blocked and stuffed deep down in the pit of her stomach~ July 27,1985 was the day ~she remembers it clearly~ as if it were yesterday.

She put on her levi's, nike tennis shoes and her “Rolling Stones” t-shirt~arms cut off which was the style back then. She fixed her hair and put on just the right make-up...she wanted to look beautiful this night. The excursions at the river bottom usually consisted of ATV riding, drinking, bon fires, and loud music. She was going to the river bottom that night with her boyfriend, David. She had been going “steady” for three months. Intimately, they had done almost everything~except sex~she decided that if all went as planned this would be the night. Upon their arrival at the river bottom, they were joined by many friends, and LOTS of alcohol. They each drank their favorites...he drank his Budweiser, she drank her berry “bartles and james”. They rode the ATV's...each individually, then together. Riding through the mounds of sand and dirt at the bottom of the river. Peel outs, jumping off miniture hills, and having a great time. While riding together, David pushed for them to go for some “alone time” in his orange primered painted van. She was scared, butterflies in her stomach. She didn't know if the feeling that was to vomit came from her nerves or the booze.

She went, reluctantly, as this is why she had come here this night. While she lay in the back of his van, his kissed her...at first it was passionate. Attempts at romance were marked by the looming factor of the pretense that there would be sex. She was uneasy. His gentleness became rough as the moments passed. Then there was a sense of urgency from him. She was uncomfortable. In her mind she thought “not here, not this night....it isn't the right time”. His breath fouled with beer and cigarettes, was heavy on her neck. She pushed him away, and told him to slow down. He became angry, a look that she had never seen on his face...someone she did not know. He pulled at her jeans, roughly tearing at them attempting to un-do the buttons. She told him “no...not here, not now”.

All at once her world crashed down around her. His hand was on her throat. His mouth inches from her face. He was angry, enraged. He ripped at her clothing, his strength seemed prolific as she struggled to release herself from his grip. He became more enraged at her denial of him...he struck her, one swift blow to the eye. She felt the pain radiate through her skull, down her cheek. She was in shock, utter disbelief. No one could hear her cries, her pain as she was struck, or her pleas for help. The music played loud, there were sounds of ATV's all around...surely drowning out the noise. She continued to struggle, the urgency to be free from his hand struck her through her very soul. All at once another blow to her face, this time she felt the blood trickle from her mouth where his fist had landed. She couldn't decide whether it was fear or anger that freed her from his hand...but she was free...as she pushed her way for the side door to jump out of the van. As she scooted back towards the door...she felt his booted foot plunging into her stomach. Repeatedly three, four, five times maybe more...she lost count after the blinding pain ripped through her sides. She lost her breath, her head was spinning from the pain. He pulled her legs to him and held her down with his body~his hand pressed firmly over her mouth. She could taste the dirt and salt mixing with her blood. He wrestled her levi's down. He thrust himself inside of her...as the tears streamed down her face. She lied there crying, in pain wanting for this night to be over. In what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, it was done.

He rolled off her body, and began to adjust his clothing. She scrambled for the door to the side of the van. She reached for the handle and fell to the sand below. She crawled a few feet, then got up on to her feet. She began to run...the pain overwhelming from every part of her body that had been assaulted. She ran to her friends near by...they grabbed her and began to take her...back to the site. She screamed to them “NO”, and begged for them to take her out of there. To take her away from that van. She shuddered, and cried. Her eye was swollen shut, bruising already present. Her lip was swollen. There was a hole to the left side, where his fist connected, her tooth had gone through. Blood dried to her chin, trailed down to her shirt staining it. Her pants remained unbuttoned, as it hurt to put pressure on her hips from her jeans being tight. It hurt in her sides, to sit, stand, or breathe. “Just get me to a phone” she pleaded from her friend. There wasn't enough gas in the ATV she was told. Her friend went back to the site to refuel...and she began walking. She walked for miles it seemed like. Finally a conveinance store on the corner. She dialed collect to home, and begged her Father to come get her...she needed him. When her Father arrived, he was panicked, scared, and furious...all that was built into a protective Father of his youngest daughter. He rushed her to the hospital, a rape kit was taken. Her eye was blackened. Her lip had to have three stitches in the hole made by her tooth..and his fist. Three ribs were broken, and she was fitted for a body sling to immobilize her rib cage. Bruises on her neck from his hand as it attempted to force her to comply with his wishes. There were scratches and bruises that she didn't know where they came from.

Her heart was ripped from her soul that day. She never again would relate sex to love...confuse love with sex. She would never again look in the mirror at herself, in the same way.

Author's Note

This was a piece that I wrote and posted on another site. I would like any feedback on this writing. Sarcasm and Rudness need not comment! Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I'll assume that this is real. As you told this story, I tried put myself in both roles. On more than one occasion long ago, the girl said "no" to me, and I was disappointed, but that was all. She was still my girlfriend and made my heart go pitter-patter. I just thought to myself "Maybe she will one day." I can't relate to the male in this story or understand him. Why would he want sex under those conditions? Sex has to be mutual or it's not sex--it's something else entirely.
Trying to see it from the female side, I kept thinking "Give him a knee to his groin! Scratch his eyes! Do whatever you can to get away!"
It was horrible. I can see that, and I can see how it would cause problems down the road, too. If this is your real-life experience, Austinsmom, I'm very, very sorry it happened. I apologise for the male gender. It wasn't right. I wish you healing, but if you can't heal, then I wish you strength.