Chapter 5

Family can be overwhelming. Peter struggles to cope.

1:37 a.m., Friday, May 4, 2001

 

I had a difficult time getting to sleep. I wanted to call Rachael, but it was too late at night. I wanted to talk to Drew, but he was way too tired, and he needed all the rest he could get. And I couldn’t stand being in the same house as my father. I got out of bed, donned the clothes I had taken off, and quietly walked out the front door.

My car was in the garage; I could go for a drive to clear my head and come back when I started feeling tired. I know Mom did that sometimes when I was younger. There would be nights where I’d toss and turn, and outside my window, I’d see her headlights flash across the shades, making night into day for a brief moment. She’d always come back long after I’d fallen asleep.

I decided to take a drive and climbed into my car. I drove past the property line and into the bustling metropolis of Hartford. There were still a few cars around, but it was nowhere as busy as New York was at this hour. I pulled up to a twenty-four hour diner and went inside, immediately realizing what it was I was missing. Coffee.

I ordered a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso and some melty-looking pastry to go along with it. As I slid into a booth and waited for my order, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID. It was Sam.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Dude, Peter, sorry it’s late, but you know how Rachael promised she would set me up with her roommate?” I barely managed to affirm that I remembered when Sam burst out laughing. “She’s into me! She’s so into me, man. She thinks I’m like Jesus or some crazy s**t. But she’s, like, gorgeous, even more than Rachael--”

“Hey--”

“And she has this adorable dog, and guess what guess what guess what else! She plays Mario Kart!”

Oh man. A pretty girl with a dog who plays Mario Kart. She was perfect for him. “Aw, man, congratulations. She sounds perfect.” I was smiling like an idiot, unbelievably happy for him. Sam hadn’t a girlfriend in years. Maybe that was why we were best friends.

“I know right?! She was, like, made for me. Totally. Oh my god. And she digs me, man! She’s interested! Dude, like, what are the odds?”

He sounded slightly drunk, and I could hear indecipherable chattering in the background. “Yeah, like I said, congrats. When I come back, I want to meet her. Maybe we can have double dates with Rachael too.” The waitress came by, dropping off my coffee, and I nodded a thank you to her.

“Yesss!!! Dude, oh my god yes. We have girlfriends! Woo hoo!!”

I winced, pulling the phone further from my ear. “Okay, your voice is inflecting far too many exclamation points to be healthy, so I’m going to hang up now. I’ll see you in a couple days, okay?”

“Yeah, okay! Have fun in Hartford, say hi to your mom for me!”

I laughed quietly. “Yeah, okay. Congrats again, man.” I hung up, still smiling, and noticed the time on my phone. It was almost three in the morning. I finished my coffee quickly, left a small tip for the waitress, and headed back to the car.

I was feeling a little tired, but not nearly enough to fall asleep, so I drove out of suburban Hartofrd and out into the surrounding countryside. I drove past grazed meadows and sleepy looking farms until I felt the fatigue begin to sink in. It was around four o’clock when I drove back home, driving slowly over the gravel road until I parked my car back in front of the garage.

I sneaked inside the house, careful not to wake anyone, and slipped back into my room. I was so exhausted by then that I didn’t bother to undress. I collapsed on the covers and fell asleep immediately.

 

*                *                *

 

Friday. May 4, 2001

 

I woke up later than everyone else and stumbled into an already full kitchen. Nelly was at the stove, making pancakes and scrambled eggs and waffles and sausages. She took one look at me and my hair like a bird’s nest and cackled.

“Okay, Mr. Clark, which would you like?”

I gestured sleepily at all of the food. “Little bit of everything, please.” Nelly smiled and began heaping food onto a plate. I took it gratefully from her with a thank you and headed to the dining room.

My father was sitting at the head of the table, a steaming cup of coffee next to him and his eyes glued to the newspaper. Even though we were at home, he was still dressed in a crisp white collared shirt and black slacks. Pretentious a*****e.

Mom was seated on his right, eating eggs and sausages as she conversed with Julie, who was tiredly picking at her blueberry waffles. Apparently, Lucy had wanted the same, and the blueberry stains on her hands and cheeks made me smile.

Drew was noticeably missing. I asked Julie where he was, and she said he had gone out for a run a little while ago. I had forgotten that my brother liked to run in the mornings.

I ate quickly and thanked Nelly for the meal. As I stood to leave, my father said without looking up from his newspaper, “You haven’t been excused.”

Julie looked at him, then back at me, wearing a bemused expression, as if to say, “You guys still do that?”

I cleared my throat pointedly and said, “May I be excused?” My voice dripped with mockery. He peered at me over the top of the paper and gave a slight nod. I strode away quickly, not wanting him to see my anger. It would only satisfy him.

I walked outside, hoping I would see Drew come running down the road. Out on the porch steps, there was a bottle of water and a white towel. I waited on the porch, daydreaming dazedly for a while, until I saw him round the corner and run up to the house.

He slowed to a jog and stopped next to me. “Hey,” he said, breathing hard. He picked up the water bottle and slung the towel over his shoulder as he took a deep drink. “Man. It’s been a while since I’ve run.”

“Really?” I asked. “I thought you always ran in the mornings.”

Drew shook his head. “Nah. Not anymore. Job’s busy. No time.” I nodded, glad I still had the time to do what I loved. “Is Julie inside?”

I nodded. Drew was about to make his way inside, but I spoke up. “Do you think Dad would like Rachael?”

Drew turned, still panting slightly. He thought for a moment before answering my question. “Well, I’ve never met her, but from what you described to me yesterday…well, frankly, she seems a lot like Julie. And you know how Dad feels about Julie.”

I nodded, grateful for his honesty. “You should come over to U Albany sometime. I mean, we live in the same state, and I hardly ever see you. Just ditch work and stay a few days. Hang out with some college kids. Meet Rachael.”

Drew smiled apologetically. “I’d love to, Pete. You know I would. But after this, it’s straight back to work, and I probably won’t get another vacation until Thanksgiving. But maybe you should visit me. The World Trade Center’s a pretty neat place.”

I snorted. “I always feel so outclassed when I go there.”

“Aw, come on, man. Take a break from school. Hang out with some businesspeople.” I laughed, and Drew smiled widely. “No, I’m serious! We’re not all that bad. I’m fairly likable, aren’t I?”

I shoved him playfully. “You’re my brother; I have to tolerate you.”

Drew punched me back, laughing, and headed inside to find Julie. I sat on the porch, staring aimlessly in the distance. I wondered what Rachael was doing.

 

*                *                *

 

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four. Was she going to pick up or--

“Hi Peter, what’s up?” She spoke quietly, and I imagined her sitting in the library, reading and sketching and watching to make sure the librarian didn’t catch her.

“Nothing, really. Just wanted to talk to you.” I wasn’t really sure what to say to her. Why did I call? “My mom’s excited to meet you, and so is my brother.”

“Well, you relay back to them that I’m just as excited to meet them.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “How much have you told them about me?”

I laughed. “I talk about you all the time. Quite frankly, I’m surprised they’re not sick of you already.”

“Oh, bummer. Guess I shouldn’t meet them then. Hey, did Sam tell you about how he hooked up with Emma?”

“Emma’s your roommate, right?”

“Bingo.”

I chuckled. “He called me at three in the morning and practically shouted it at me that he had a girlfriend. He was literally squealing.”

Rachael laughed. “I hope he didn’t give you the gruesome details.”

I groaned. “Oh, lord, I don’t even want to know.”

“Yes you do. They started making out like five minute into talking to each other, and I swear by the end of the night they were going to--”

“Okay, thank you for the image. God, it’s so weird to think of Sam being in a relationship.”

She scoffed. “Psh, he’s plenty cute. I could go for him.”

Even though I knew she was joking, panic coursed through me. “He has a girlfriend,” I said mockingly.

“Mmm, too bad he’s taken. I guess I’ll just have to settle with you. By the way, when are you coming back again? It’s desperately lonesome without you, and I feel like such a third wheel around Sam and Emma.”

I smiled, warmth flooding my stomach and making my fingertips tingle. “I’ll be back by Monday. Actually, Sunday night, but it’ll be late.”

“When on Sunday night?”

“Mmm, like eleven. Too late to do anything; nothing will be open.”

“But not too late to see you,” she said happily. “I’ll see you Sunday night then.”

I laughed, pleased with her obstinacy. “Okay, looking forward to it.” I hung up, feeling much better.

Author's Note

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