time

it surprise me as fast as the time run

tic tok say the time
the saying of the old
but it seems the time is
fleeing
few minute from now was yesterday
its already today
maybe tomorrow will be another year

Author's Note

comment and criticize are welcome

Reviews

[Terrence Chang]

A good sense of observation you got there. Although few enhancement with words could make it more crisp. Like instead of tick tack you can make it tic-tok, fleeing instead of running. This is what I feel. Hope you don't mind my criticism. Overall it was a good read

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks for the review ,i don't mind criticism i need it to be better,i would work on it as you said

[Adesanya Yewande]

i like it better now,thanks for the observation

[Terrence Chang]

You are most welcome

[vendorofvignettes]

really nice suggestions, Terrence! Did make the poem more crisp.

[Terrence Chang]

Thank you soo much

[zunie frost]

Great poem !!!!
Really nice and cute write

[Sangeetha]

Oooh very deep I like how its short and sweet and sends and impactful message. It's too true about time very touching I like it very much.

[Naked Elements]

yes time is fleeing. . . we like to think of it in terms of seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years. But if you ask me it's kind of infinite right? Always moving and it has never stopped since I've been alive....fleeing is the best word for it, so nice job snagging that word out of your mental vocabulary ;)

[Adesanya Yewande]

actually that word was a suggestion from terrence chang and i really am thankful to him,thanks for your review

[Autonomous]

I feel bad, I just noticed English might not be your first language. That's a handicap on this website but if anything your writing is still good. You just need a little help with word choice and you will be so much better

[Adesanya Yewande]

yea english is not my first language am a Nigerian but its our official language,and thanks i will work on my vocabularies

[barleygirl]

This little collection of thoughts is deeper than it sounds at first. We have all felt the way time can zoom by so quickly . . . just wait until you get to be my age! (almost 60) . . . then days become minutes & we are less able to seize all the minutes in a day, as well! I especially love the final line, where these minutes add up to the years flipping over at an alarming pace -- very thought-provoking.

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks i did observe that as young as i am i think the time is just to fast

[vendorofvignettes]

what I like about your poem is the way it captures not only the fleeting nature of temporality, but also its 'expandability' in the last sentence....well-done and pithy, keep it up!

I very much liked Terrence's additions, 'fleeing' and 'tic-tock', as well as Shankar Mohan's comment

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks a bunch vendorofvignettes

[Shankar Mohan Singh]

Love that line yesterday already today

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks shankar for all the support you have been giving me and the encouragement

[hcarson]

your as right..as usual..you are far to wise :) time just up and runs and leaves us all behind wondering where on earth it has gone, i was only saying to my partner the other day how fast it goes and i wish it would slow, lovely little poem :)

[Adesanya Yewande]

yea hcarson i also wish it would slow down but i don't think that's possible

[hcarson]

sadly you are right again there, it just goes faster and faster the older you get..quickest thing about me haha

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree with your logic. Time moved too quickly. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks for the review coyote

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.