The worst thing about being use to the sadness and depression is not being able to truly feel it anymore. It seems silly until you get to this point, but i miss the days when i cried instantly over the small things. Now the "jokes" don't hurt me the way they use to. I no longer cry at the sound of you voicing your disappointment. I just push it aside and ignore it. It no longer bothers me that nothing i do seems to be right. See I've come to a stage in life where all i do is shrink smaller and smaller every time my "feelings" get hurt. I try less to please you and somehow it works. I don't stay on top of things anymore and it feels so good. Laying in bed all day doing absolutely nothing but pity myself feels a hell of a lot better then getting up and trying to fight the depression. Hell i play into the depression these days. But the best thing i do is shrink into nothing when your voice becomes stern and your words become heated.