(98) Brother, Can You Spare A Minute?

Hello my brother
Can you spare a moment?
So glad to see you

I've been down on my luck
Living in this alley these days
Always a meal or two in the trash

So how have you been keeping?
Good to hear about the wife and kids
I understand you don't want me visiting

Oh, you want to know about Mary?
She left me a couple years ago
My own fault, too much work

The job took away all my time
Mary was feeling a little rejected
So she found herself another lover

But the job decided to let me go
I kind of allowed myself to go to Hell
So I found myself without a job or home

Yeah I heard about little brother Billy
He joined the army and went off to fight
I miss him, I wish i went to the funeral

Oh, have you really got to go?
Yeah, I know it's been good to talk
My brother, you are always a busy man

Don't be a stranger now, visit soon
I am always living in this alley, here
Always here, drinking my bottle of rye



copyright Chris Smith 2010       

Reviews

[ice]

The complexity of life in a simple poem.
Or is it not simple at all, but complexity explained in a easily understood way..? Here lies the true skill of a poet. Here lies the skill of Chris Smith.
In nine short stanzas he writes an epic poem;
The compaction of years of bad choices,and the sorrow it wrought- in just a few lines.

[Dream Weaver]

An incredible write my friend.
I could feel the sting of hardship
as well as the loss of one dignity.
A great piece my friend....

[Pebbles]

Chris you really captured a feeling with this one ...how we grow up togeather with our siblings and yet all end up walking different paths in life ... some take the right turns and some loose all sense of direction .. it is a shame we dont care enough to give a hand up now and again x

[WatashLegend]

To the core with a chill, you didn't get too complex and that was the perfect way to write this to drive the point home, well done the readers attention was certainly deserved by you in this piece

[Miss Teri]

This reminds me of something I read. I believe it was called "Salvants." It was basically a narrative as told by a woman having a one-way conversation with a neighbor about her life, kid and husband. This is just like it except that this is much shorter and in poetry form.

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

aww this is such an awesome poem, a one way conversation in a family of different class.. great write :)

[Magdelena]

What a message you brought forth in this piece of life.. Wonderfully portrayed and what I found so realistic is that age old saying, could be I....

Clapping here...

Mags xx

[Art Sun]

so many...so many...

great thoughts within your poem...

[.]

simple words..with a poignant message

[Kathryn]

So few words for such a big story, but any more would spoil it. The details left to the readers imagination fill in the story behind the poem and bring the cold words to life. Such emotion, and a chilling realisation or the bitter turns of fate. A brilliant piece - one day I hope to have the same way with words that you have.

[northern monkey]

There but for the grace of God................great writing my friend.