(58) Breathe The Rain

If you breathe the rain
You can smell my tears
When you live the pain
Then you feel my fears

Please close the door
Keeping the World out
Push my mouth to the floor
So I can no longer shout

The window is smashed
Someone had to throw a stone
My spirit has been dashed
It has left me all alone

I know I make no sense
My mind is in a different place
All of this bitter pretence
Has disappeared without a trace

All work with no chance to play
Leaves you going a little bit insane
Clouds are here because the Sun went away
So all you can do now is breathe the rain

copyright Chris Smith 2010 (somewhere in a room in my mind)

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Rain is so symbolic of many things. The tears, fears and feelings of loneliness.
Wandering minds take us on many journeys to many places.
This is an emotional poem .. I think many of us have felt this .. i know i have.
Wanting to be alone.. screaming in vain .. and this is how i feel- as you wrote it.
Love the last couplet.

Chloe

[Maggie]

Oh, so very lovely...this poem took my breath away. Favorite.

[redd Brick Keshner]

Quite a lyrical yet depth-filled poem, it is hard to have a favourite stanza but the first sticks out the best. At least at this reading it does.Somehow the image that comes us is that of an in-house patient in the mental ward. But then that could mean something else altogether. The rhyming is quite attractive although the metre is somewhat irregular. But who is counting anyway? :-)

[Adrienne Sims]

Perfect timing! Its rainning here as I read your piece! Great read! MORE...

[Sukriti Suki]

fantastic...all work and no play does make you go insane...rain is so symbolic of tears..a had a smile while reading this, beautiful words put very appropriately.

[SweetHeart (:]

I love the whole thing. Such a deep and emotion poem. It really makes writers wanna read more like that (including me atleast). I hope i do see more like these.
keep the writing up because its very great. The thing i love the most was the ryme schemeing you wrote and the emotions/feelings them are the things that really popped out at me and made want to read more!(:

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

all you can do now is breathe in the rain.......and wait.......lovely Chris :)

[Sunni Davis]

There is such a lonely mood in your words but the last line is so full of hope and strength. I love the rain. To me, its peaceful, magical and cleansing. There's nothing more elemental than dancing in the rain, feeling it on your face and breathing it in. Great poem, Chris!!

[Lily Mae]

Standing in the rain is very clearing for the heart and soul... Sometimes I stand in the shower and pretend the water from the shower head is washing all my way worries away and they are sent back down through the drain and into the earth to be cleansed:) Great write on learning how to breathe the rain...xx

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love Rain or water of any kind as a symbol. This is a poweful poem with beautiful Rhyme and imagery. Absolutely love it!

[fargone]

a nice piece, chris. the aching meloncholy is in every line. well-written.