(58) Breathe The Rain

If you breathe the rain
You can smell my tears
When you live the pain
Then you feel my fears

Please close the door
Keeping the World out
Push my mouth to the floor
So I can no longer shout

The window is smashed
Someone had to throw a stone
My spirit has been dashed
It has left me all alone

I know I make no sense
My mind is in a different place
All of this bitter pretence
Has disappeared without a trace

All work with no chance to play
Leaves you going a little bit insane
Clouds are here because the Sun went away
So all you can do now is breathe the rain

copyright Chris Smith 2010 (somewhere in a room in my mind)

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Rain is so symbolic of many things. The tears, fears and feelings of loneliness.
Wandering minds take us on many journeys to many places.
This is an emotional poem .. I think many of us have felt this .. i know i have.
Wanting to be alone.. screaming in vain .. and this is how i feel- as you wrote it.
Love the last couplet.

Chloe

[northern monkey]

Great job Chris - emotional eloquence, bleak but spellbinding. I wish people would give rain a break, nothing much would grow without it! LOL

[Vanessa Rico]

Reading this poem has refreshed me...I was definitely into breathing the rain! Great work as always!

[A.Noel]

Beautifully crafted and really draws you into it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"The window is smashed
Someone had to throw a stone
My spirit has been dashed
It has left me all alone"
I like those rainy days. Sometime allow us to think. Even the people who have no free time. Must be wild and crazy.
"All work with no chance to play
Leaves you going a little bit insane"
I need a few days to lose my sanity and test life. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Cerebriation]

Love the emotion, and the whole idea is inspiring! This one, overall, is a great write, my friend!

[Althelia Marie Caine]

Oh wow...That is something else.

[Thea Fuentebella]

ouh this has a beutiful flow..very fluid. it's like you're taking the reader with you as we sail down the river-of-a-poem.

"All work with no chance to play
Leaves you going a little bit insane
Clouds are here because the Sun went away
So all you can do now is breathe the rain"

--a marvelous ending to a marvelous poem!

[Mauricio Montoya]

when it rains it blinds me of any hope, yet the world must shed it's tears for the sun to shine again. i like how this comes together, especially the last line:
So all you can do now is breathe the rain.
Right on and well done.

[Hayley]

Your feelings really were made known through this poem. You used a simple rhyme scheme, but the poem itself is complicated. I like the repeated phrase "breathe the rain". Nice work!

[Poeticadia]

Great emotional peice... it's like waking from a dream of loneliness.... i like the weather imagery and great last line.