(41) Pizza Of Life

First we take the base.
Our foundation of life.
We spread it with happiness.
And we then add our toppings.
With a sprinkle of hope.
A little bit of joy.
A gathering of desire.
Maybe a splashing of caring.
Finished off with plenty of love.
Then we place the pizza in the oven.
To be baked by the sands of time.
Take it out and allow it to cool.
You can now taste the pizza of life.
All you have to do is to enjoy.

copyright Chris Smith 2010

Reviews

[Emily]

First,I would combine the first two lines.It would flow more that way.And on the 5th line, I would erase the 'with'.I think that 'lashing has more of a negative connotation,so I'd replace it with dash or some other word of that sort.Other than that,I like it. It has a fun tone,and your metaphors are good with the rest of the poem.Good job!

[.]

does the fact that mine has a deep crust cheesy filling have any deeper meaning? LOL

great analogy..I will never look at a pizza the same again :)

[Liza]

pizza was a good selection - no matter how bad pizza is; it's still pretty good :)

[Rachel]

very fulfilling, i think i would change "splashing" to just a "splash" to make it a noun and more powerful and the last word seem like it could be improved but i dont know how; overall incredibly neat and precise like a simple recipe for life, very nice :)

[Robin]

great ingredients , lets enjoy

[northern monkey]

Great concept Chris. If Imay ofeer one small onstructive criticism? A 'lashing ' of caring feels harsh - maybe a 'splash' or 'drizzle' (damn you, tv cookery) instead?

Nicely done! I enjoy the idea of describing life as a slice of pizza. A very clever idea, it worked pretty well.
Enjoyed the descriptions and felt it! Good stuff!

[Rachel]

Love your metaphor! Sometimes people suck at metaphors, but you did a really great job! I've never thought of pizza like life, until now! Wonderful job, Chris!

[Myenigma]

This got me thinking about... pizza!!:P

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic of food and life. Food is very important. If we treated people with the care of food and appreciation. Would be a better world. I feel sad when I heard of death in war of people. I know somewhere there is a mother/father and wife with many tears to fall. A very strong poem. I'm a cook myself. Understand the patience and timing of cooking good food. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote