The Family of Mr N. Couragement

Wordplay about a family similar in part to Shirley Jackson's protagonist in "One Ordinary Day, With Peanuts". Plays with idioms.

Happy-go-lucky Mr Noel Couragement spent his time, as a rule, going about town doing little favors for people, just like the fellow from “One Ordinary Day, with Peanuts,” by Shirley Jackson. What an inspiration that had been for him when he was growing up! Naturally, Mr Couragement wanted his own family to follow this sterling example, as well.
One day, as his kids came home from school, he assembled them around in the kitchen for an account of their good deeds.
Nancy was first. “Daddy, I learned all about nutrients and vitamins, protein and carbohydrates, and now I understand how to give my body what it needs to grow strong and healthy.”
Mr Couragement was pleased. “Good for you, Nancy.”
Norton was next. “Well, Pop, I went to the employment agency and found out they had a plum bit of a job for me, just right for what I’m good at. It pays well and has the opportunity to become a full time position with benefits.”
Noel was of course delighted. “Good job, son.”
The third child was Nat. “Dad, in my home economics classes I had to grill burgers and steaks. I learned how to do it so that the meat wasn’t tough, but still there was not a bit of blood showing; no pink at all!”
Mr Couragement smiled. “Well done, Nat darling.” He beamed at the three. “As for me, I was going around town today and suddenly a big black car stopped just by me on the sidewalk. The driver opened his window and told me that he was totally lost; he was searching for the ball park and just could not find it. Turns out he was going the wrong  way on the wrong road, headed away from it. Well, I straightened him out and explained how to reach the ball park in the safest and most direct way possible, so he would surely not get lost again. I’m sure they got there with no problems.”
The three children clapped their hands, and in chorus, cheered, “Way to go, Dad!”
“Thank you, indeed it was, kiddos!” Mr Couragement smiled proudly at them.
Then he turned to his other son, who had not yet spoken. Des was a bit of a black sheep in the family, often disappointing him in these conferences. “And how about you, Des, honey? What did you do today?”
“Aw dad, I don’t want to tell you…”
“Now son, we all gave our own accounts, and now it’s your turn. Come on, give,” Noel urged.
“Well,” Des began, “I was in shop class, working with sandpaper, sanding down this board for my decoupage. I rubbed it so there were no splinters, and the teacher told me I was doing well.”
“Real smooth, Des,” sneered Nancy.
Desmond looked a bit nervous, but plugged on. “Then someone opened the door and a gust of wind blew in and all the bits of wood I’d rubbed off gusted into the air, right into the teacher’s face.”
Nat laughed nastily. “All you are is dust in the wind, Des.”
Norton nodded. “You really blew it,  bro.”
Des seemed determined to finish his story, despite the heckling. “Well, after that, Mr Decker couldn’t see, and he backed into the band saw. It was horrible…it cut him right in half from behind.”
“Ah, Des, trouble again,” mourned Mr Couragement. “Well I guess it was halftime and you had to take a break, since you had a double Decker. So I gather after that you split and got behind in your work, right?”
“Right, Dad,” Des responded. “See, you can see the blood on my decoupage right here.”
Something would have to be done about these moments of Des Couragement, one of these days.