How Unpleasant to Know Mr. Hartshippe!

Self loathing rhyme

I know a deplorable, ugly, fat man
I have no idea what his real name is,
But on Tumblr he calls himself Hermie, or Ann;
In his mind he think he’s “Tumblr famous.”

In complete wishy-washiness, he is the king
He can’t choose any options or choices
Neither guy nor a girl, neither straight, ace, or gay
And I don’t understand what his voice is

Well I quite liked his blog, so I followed, and then
He came visiting mine and sent greetings
He was all in my face, offered “huggles” and ten
Different ways we could have “charming, sweet” meetings.

And he’s clearly a sicko, unwholesome and weird
Plus he’s sick in the head, I am sure.
I was quickly convinced he’s that type that I’ve feared
Is both menacing and wholly impure.

So I gave him a chance, which is more than I should’ve,
Never wishing to seem too unkind
It was quite a mistake. If I’d stayed round, he would’ve
Soon driven me out of my mind.

But I left fast and blocked him, thank God that I did!
I’ve escaped from his unhealthy wiles.
I do hope that I’m shut of his “cuddles” and hugs,
And his creepy, disturbing fake smiles. 

For a time he kept writing me, asking me why
I had left without saying ‘farewell,’
Saying that he was sorry, and claiming to cry!
That pathetic and lame-assed rake-hell! 

This guy, Hermie Hartshippe, ‘s a regular bad’un
Someone ought to put him away!
They ugliest “girl” and unsightliest lad, ‘n
A stupid one.
____________That’s what they say.