The Pasadena Waltz

A man tries to beat the voices in his head and deal with lost love. Can light and dark truly harmonize?

    “Oh, Pasadena.” Grodo thought, walking down the desolate street. He jingled the ring in his pocket, thinking of all the wonderful things they would be able to do.

    “She would make quite the meal.”

    “Yes, indeed. Such power oozing through her.” Grodo shook his head to shut up the voices. He had forgotten to eat, and his mind was quickly breaking down.

    “You’re almost there. Then, you can slurp up her soul.”

    “Hey, it won’t be the only thing he’ll be slurping.”

    “Stop it, you vile things!” Grodo said, hitting the side of his head with the heel of his hand.

    Grodo stepped onto the porch of the building. As he reached for the door, a baby started crying. It got louder and louder.

    “Why don’t you feed him? Are you just going to sit and watch as he starves?” His mother’s voice rang out.

Grodo covered his ears and knelt to numb the pain. Laughing. He heard laughter echoing between his ears. All other noises were drowned out by crude humor, crying, and that awful laughter. Grodo jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the face of a beautiful pale woman with striking green eyes and short frizzy white hair.

    “Grodo, are you all right?” Pasadena inquired, her words dripping with concern. All the voices stopped when Grodo’s eyes met hers.

    “I-I’m fine,” Grodo stammered, standing back up. “Just a headache, that’s all.”

    “As long as you’re sure,” Pasadena grinned. “So why are we here?” She nodded towards the dilapidated building that Grodo was about to enter.

    “Oh, this is just a place I come to think. I wanted to show it to you.” Grodo patted his pockets to make sure the ring was still there. He turned the knob, and the door shuddered as it swung open.

    The place smelled damp. The thin wooden walls were sprinkled with graffiti and the remains of silk trim. Grodo led Pasadena through the hall around the rotten parts of the floor to the stairs. They descended into the basement.

    “This is breathtaking.” Pasadena sighed, gazing around.

“So are you.” Grodo whispered.  She looked up at him, and he suddenly felt insecure. He awkwardly rubbed his shaved head. Grodo slid his hand into his pocket absentmindedly and remembered the box.

“Thank you, but you know I’m not that much to look at.” Pasadena giggled.

“But you are.” Grodo replied. “You’re so beautiful, and intelligent, and good. I find my way inside your eyes.” He knelt down. “You are my light in the darkness, and I want to have that light for the rest of my life.”

Pasadena put her hand up to her mouth, and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Pasadena Murrove, will you marry me?”

As Pasadena took in air to answer, they heard a commotion upstairs. Policemen came barging into the basement.

“Get down! Put your hands behind your head and get down on the ground!”

***

    “Sorry for the confusion, sir. We apologize again for the inconvenience.” The officer said, closing his notebook.

    “It’s no problem. I mean, we were here when you came to bust the place.” Grodo replied, nervously laughing. The police left, and Pasadena glared at Grodo with her arms crossed.

    “You frequent a part-time kiddie porn dungeon? And proposed to me there?!”

    “I-I didn’t know it was that,” he stammered. “Really. I just thought it was an abandoned building.”

    “You never saw it happening!?” She shrieked. “What are you, oblivious?”

    “You f*****g idiot! You’re gonna let the prey get away.”

    “Pasadena,” Grodo whined, trying to ignore the voice. “I swear, I never saw a thing. Look, I love you, and I just wanted to take you where I feel the most secure. If I would’ve known that they filmed that here, I would never have brought you.”

    Pasadena shook her head and blew her breath. “Grodo, I think I need some space. Like, we should take a break.”

    “Pasadena, please.”

    “I’ll call you at some point, okay?” She held back her tears and walked away.

    “Way to go, dumbass.”

    “Seriously, talk about a weakling.”

    “She smelled so delicious. Why didn’t you eat her when you had the chance?”

    Grodo ran down the street. Whimpering, he did his best to ignore the growing aggression of the voices. He just had to make it through his front door.

***

    It had been three weeks since Pasadena had told Grodo she needed a break, and she hadn’t called. He spent those three weeks wrapped in a blanket, hiding away in his apartment. He hadn’t seen the sun since that afternoon because he covered up all the windows. He was starving, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone.

    “You have to leave sometime.”

    “Mmhmm. You don’t want to starve to death. It’s worse than being alive, if you can believe that.”

    “I don’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t ask for this,” Grodo snivelled.

    “C’mon, you knew what leaving meant. Besides, you can’t get rid of us. So, why let us all die?”

    “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get out of the house.” Grodo thought. “I might feel slightly better, and I’ve controlled them for this long.”

    He stood and threw the blanket to the side. Grodo hopped in the shower. He had always been gangly, but the lack of sustenance had him looking frail and sick. The hot water felt good on his skin.

    Drying off, Grodo slid on some dark blue jeans and a grey long-sleeve thermal shirt. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, then left the apartment and headed to a bar at the corner of his street.

    “What can I get ya?” the bartender asked.

    “Get wasted. What’s the strongest they have?”

    “I’ll just have a ginger ale.” Grodo replied.

    “Grodo?”

He turned quickly and saw Pasadena smiling at him.

    “Oh, hey,” Grodo mumbled, a small smile spreading across his face. “What are you doing here?”

    “I’m just grabbing a few drinks with an old friend from college. Eddie, this is Grodo.” She said, touching the shoulder of the man next to her.

    The smile on Grodo’s face faded when he saw Eddie. He was tall, well-built, tan, and had dark hair: your stereotypical pretty boy. Grodo weakly waved to be polite.

    “Nice to meet you.” Eddie simpered. “So, this is the one you were dating for awhile? He seems like a nice guy.”

    “Eddie and I dated back in college.” Pasadena sighed. “He was an English major.”

    “Poetry.” Eddie corrected. “Words that rhyme will always be the way to a woman’s heart.”

    “Oh, s**t.”

    “We’ve got a Romeo on our hands.”

    Grodo discreetly twitched. There was something off about this guy, and it wasn’t just the voices in his head influencing him.

    “How fascinating,” Grodo stated.

    “Well, I’ll let you two get acquainted. I have to go to the little girl’s room.” Pasadena said, getting up and heading to the bathroom.

    “Damn, she is something.” Eddie sneered.

    “Yeah,” Grodo replied. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, in every way.”

    “Look, I don’t want to seem like a heartless dick, but I think I’m gonna tap that tonight.”

    “Huh?” Grodo squeaked, startled.

    “Oh, come on,” Eddie scoffed. “You can smell the virgin pouring off of her. So innocent.”

    Grodo felt his face getting hot. What a f*****g playboy. “She isn’t an object.”

    “You need something stronger than that ginger ale, buddy?” Eddie smirked. He was one of those guys who knew he was attractive regardless, so he made an a*s of himself in every little thing he did.

    “No thanks.” Grodo replied. “I like to have as sober a mind as possible when I take down little f***s like you.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “Why don’t we take this out back. Don’t wanna ruin your image in the middle of public, do I?” Grodo started towards the back door.

    “Are you serious?” Eddie tried not to laugh. “Is this all because of Sugar Tits in the bathroom?”

    “You heard me: let’s take it outside.”

    Eddie guffawed, but he humored Grodo. The two weaved through the crowd and went into the alley behind the bar.

    “Destroy him.”

    “Dismember him. All of him.”

    Grodo wasn’t trying to ignore the voices anymore. He was hungry, and he wanted nothing more than to rip Eddie limb from limb. Eddie took off his jacket and wiped his mouth.

    “I’ll try not to scuff you up too bad. Don’t want to embarrass you too much in front of what you can’t ha-” Eddie was left speechless when the black clouds of smoke surrounded his gangly adversary. An evil, unnatural grin spread across Grodo’s lips as he slammed Eddie against the brick wall of the building.

    “You know, I’ve been trying so hard to be a good person.” Grodo growled. “I’ve starved myself for almost two years now, but you are the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

    Eddie started to choke.

    “The voices are getting to be too much to bear. But, for once, I don’t mind doing what they ask me to.” Grodo reached up and caressed Eddie’s face. Eddie began to gag, and Grodo slowly opened his mouth.

    “Grodo? Eddie?!” Pasadena shrieked as she ran out into the alley. A bloodcurdling scream escaped her lips when she saw Eddie cough up a fair amount of blood. What looked like one’s breath on a cold day exited Eddie’s mouth, and Grodo swallowed it. Pasadena wanted to cover her eyes or look away, but she was frozen in fear as Eddie violently threw up blood and bits of innards. He fell to the ground, limp and dead. Grodo wiped the misting of blood from his lips.

    “You-what did you do?” Pasadena began to shiver and cry. “What did you do to him?!”

    Grodo felt his muscles relax. He just looked at Pasadena, then burst into tears.

    “Pasadena-”

    “Stay away from me!”

    “Please.” He murmured. “Even if you never speak to me again, just give me the courtesy of telling you the truth. I never told you about who I used to be. You don’t even know who I am.”

    Still shaken, Pasadena lowered herself onto a milk crate. Her eyes were still puffy from crying.

    “When I was a boy,” Grodo started, “my father was hardly ever around. In fact, he almost starved my mother and me. So, I kind of grew up hating the world. I wanted to rebel. So, when I hit eighteen, I ran away from home.”

    “That’s when I joined the cult. Everyone there was dark and broken, so I thought that was where I belonged. After only about three years of being a member, I was promoted to the status of priest. Now that I was in charge of these people, I realized that they were more disturbed than even I was after my life of abuse. So, I wanted to leave.”

    Pasadena just covered her mouth and looked down at her feet.

    “My worst mistake was thinking that I could just leave after associating with those people. You can’t just leave, so they put a curse on me, imbuing me with dark magic. My only means of sustenance are human souls. I couldn’t fight the voices at first. I killed so many innocent people, and it still haunts me. But then I met you.” Grodo’s voice softened. “I don’t want you to be with me if you don’t want to, Pasadena. I just want you to know that you are the only thing in this world that kept me sane. That kept me good. I hope that I can eventually rid myself of this darkness inside of me.”

    Grodo lowered himself to the ground and held his head. He knew that Pasadena could never love him after seeing the monster he truly was. She just watched him kill another person. Pasadena stood and approached him. She caressed his cheek.

    “I’ll help you.”

    “You will?”

    “Grodo, why didn’t you just tell me?” She was holding back fresh tears. “I love you, so why didn’t you just say something was wrong?”

    “There are parts of me that make it hard to look in the mirror.” He replied. “I didn’t want you to see that: the pain, the anger, the murderer. But I couldn’t bear lying to you.”

    “I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get better.” Pasadena kissed his forehead. “I won’t rest until we find a way to get rid of that darkness inside of you.”

    Grodo weakly smiled and reached up to stroke her cheek. She really was his light in the dark.

    “You’re going to see things you might not want to see.” Grodo looked down.

    Pasadena smiled wider at him. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”