In the Middle of the Night

elf meat

In the Middle of the Night 

 

     Many of you may already know some snippets of my story from news reports, gossip, and rumor, but some memorable moments have been omitted. I know it’s hard to believe and I don’t blame any of you for thinking I belong in a loony bin, but I’m not crazy, I swear I’m not.  You just gotta believe that I’m not making this up; I know, I know, I was a young call girl with a rap sheet. Why should you believe the likes of me? I may’ve been a w***e but I was a damn honest one with a limited imagination. I couldn’t make this crap up. So let me start from the beginning and tell you what you don’t know.

 

     It all happened in the middle of the night. I was sleeping in my bed dreaming what passionate girls dream about when suddenly I was bolted awake by the blaring sound of trumpets. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw who was playing them. It was a sight beyond the pale; three beautiful winged fairies blowing away on golden trumpets. I was just wrapping my mind around this when out from the nothingness appeared the most beautiful creature one can imagine. He was handsome beyond measure with a sculpted body that made my body tingle and tremble with delight. He was a freaking elf right out of the ‘Lord of the Rings’. I felt dizzy and flushed and fainted dead away but he caught me in mid swoon. He smiled as his eyes melted into mine. I was soon to find out that he was the Elf King of the fairylands.

 

     He put me down and gently and kissed my hand.  “My Lady, to be beside you once again, brings joy to this heart that was torn asunder when you left our realms; you’ve been lost to me for eons and now I’ve found you.”  He kissed me on my cheek and gently stroked my hair.  

 

     I was agape, astonished, confused, and thoroughly aroused. I was shaking all over. I squeaked out a quivering reply, “Either I’ve gone mad or this is one hell of a vivid dream that I’d rather not wake up from. Unfortunately, I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else. I’m just a w***e from Brooklyn.”

 

     “And what a magnificent w***e you are”, said the super-hot Elf King. “I’m not mistaken, my queen. You’re the daughter, as well as the future mother of the All-Mother. Your Mother’s essence that has dwelled within you for the past millennia is now ready to be personified and born into this age. With my seed flowing unto your womb; SHE, who is known by many names will be reborn and shall walk the earth once again. She’s known to humans as Mother Nature, to elves as Gaia, and to God as Asherah.”

 

     I was stunned beyond belief. This delicious Elf was going to put his man-juice in me. F**k Yeah! I’m gonna give birth to Mother Nature!  I gotta puke, pee, and poo. I’m a freaking Elf Queen. Holy S**t!

 

     The Elf King felt my desire and sensed my panic. He whisked me away to the fairylands and made love to me on a bed of flowers. All my doubts and trepidations melted away in-between the petals.

 

.....................

 

 

     Well that’s about the gist of it. I now live in the fairylands, fat, happy, and pregnant. Magic, fairies, witches, elves, and all things supernatural, are my new normal. I was sent back here after my memories and Elfhood were reawakened to warn humanity about their impending doom. Gaia will be heartbroken at the damage done to earth. But there’s still time to change your destructive ways.

 

     A pregnant elf with Spock ears caused quite a stir, that’s what all the fuss was about. It’s not my elfish appearance you should be worried about. It’s your continued existence...