Jumping Jack Jimmy Jam Jones trip to the Moon

another adventure concerning jimmy jam

Jumping Jack Jimmy Jam Jones trip to the Moon (650 words)(some teeny tiny bad words)

 

     Jimmy jam was wading in the mud checking on his crawfish traps when out from the blue a tiny little saucer like ship landed not ten feet away from jumping jack’s boots. The ship shook, shimmered, gyrated, and vibrated, and out materialized a little alien midget man, not more than the size of his belt buckle. He looked like an itsy-bitsy barracuda dressed up in a politician’s suit.  He gave a teeny weenie little bow and in a squeaky tinny tiny voice said, “Mr. Jones, it is my honor to be in the presence of the man who sings and plays the fiddle alongside the devil. You are a legend amongst the stars for being the only humanoid mortal that the fiddler plays with, listens too, and loves.  The devil’s abiding love for you is the reason for my alien visitation.

     I’m from Titan, the largest of the moons of Saturn.  We’re at war with the inhabitants of those who populate our sister moon Hyperion; they’re sanctimonious apostates, who have accused us of warping the natural laws of nature to fit our technological needs.  We need you to convince the devil, known as the Fiddler throughout the multi-verse, to intercede on our behalf, by commanding those apostates to accept and embrace our way of living.”

 

     Jimmy Jam Jones body shook with laughter. He picked up the teeny tiny little man and threw him in the swamp. When he finished laughing he said, “The only thing I ever asked the fiddler to give me, is her love and friendship. I want or need nothing else. Your worlds mean nothing to me, and I wouldn’t waste the time she spends with me on your asinine plea. Jump back in your little baby ship and head back home before I crush you with my pinkie finger”.

 

     The itsy-bitsy little moon man was an excellent swimmer, and easily swam back to shore.  He started screaming threats and curses at jumping jack in that nasally tinny, tin, tin voice which only made Mr. Jones laugh harder. The little barracuda man whipped out the tiniest of rays guns this planet has ever seen and zapped Jumping Jack Jimmy Jam Jones square on the noggin. Jimmy started to shimmer, shake, and shrink and became as tiny as the funny little man in that politicians suit. He was whisked away to Titan which clearly was against his formidable will and pissed him off to no end.

 

..................

 

     The Fiddler arrived at the swamp to have a fiddling nature jam with Jimmy Jam. She looked forward to these jam sessions as well as the eye popping hugging and loving at the fiddle-sizzling crescendos with her hip hopping  lover Jumping Jones. He was nowhere to be found. Instead she found barracuda man prostrated before her. He told her that Jimmy was being held prisoner on the Hyperion Moon and was soon to be executed; being that he was a notorious enemy of God.  The Titans rescued him from their evil clutches, but his injures were serious and death was imminent.  The little man suggested that she turn Hyperion to dust.

     The Fiddler picked up the tiny titan and ate him. She could hear him crying in agony inside her gut. He’ll be digesting inside the devil’s belly for all eternity.  To lie to the Queen of lies was foolish and suicidal, which that idiot a*****e just found out.

She arrived on Titan with haste and found jimmy’s head was about to be chopped off. When the Titan council saw the Devil materialize before them they all shat in their dresses and pants. She grabbed jimmy and placed him in her arms and healed him of his injuries. He looked at her and said, “You’re a glorious sight to behold, I knew you’d arrive on time” and kissed her boldly on the lips. 

Titan was no longer a moon of Saturn...  

  

Author's Note

pick its bones