Get out the Vote

A political satire--- elections can be a b***h

Get out the Vote 

Felix Slimeshine, the Operations Chief, looked over the reports and the video feeds and said,

“It seems to be working; the white female population of Tanford-upon-Thames has been successfully infected with the Z virus.  They are ravenously hungry lust-driven maniacal man- eaters that are nearly under our complete control.  A few more tweaks and adjustments will make them do whatever we want. We need to send in a few more teams to accelerate the process.  If everything goes as planned we can then cross the pond and initiate Operation Orange. “

Dr. Mueller Vomitin was quite pleased. He finally was about to get the acclaim and respect that he deserved. Soon he will be back in the halls of power. Years of being hunted and vilified, was about to come to an end. His benefactor had faith in him and gave him all the resources that he needed to make his dream a reality. Vomitin would pay him back in kind by making him the most powerful man on earth.

.......

Gail Gorman was feeling a bit strange. She felt sexual urgings that she hadn’t felt in years. She eyed her husband Carl in a very predatory way. She wanted to ravage every piece of him and after she was sexually sated and had her way with him, she wanted to eat him all up, literary not figuratively.  She felt like a Black Widow spider and it felt exhilarating. Just as she was ready to jump on his bones and have her way with him, the little meat cake decided to leave the house and go for a stroll. He said he’d be back soon.  She was a patient woman, she’d wait for him. She licked her lips in anticipation; Gail was very, very, hungry. Aside from her hunger and desires, she also had this strange urge to seek out a voting booth and vote.

All through the town white woman like Gail Gorman, thirty and over, were feeling the same urges and desires. Many of their men, those whom they once loved dearly, became their sexual playthings and late night snacks.  After they ate their meat treats they all felt this dire need to seek out a voting booth.

Carl didn’t think it odd at all seeing Ms. Longtooth gnawing on a finger in a voting booth. As a matter of fact he didn’t think all the screaming and howling he heard in the village or his wife’s maniacal glare was strange, it all seemed rather normal. Gradually the fuzziness in his head started to fade, as the fog in his mind dissipated a numbing dread washed over him, and suddenly he realized that something was terribly wrong.  He went back to the voting booth and looked at Ms. Longtooth. He realized she was a freaking Zombie! He got a hold of the Oxford Dictionary and smashed in her head.  He rushed outside and saw a gaggle of woman zombies headed towards the library. He needed to alert the authorities. The Apocalypse had begun. He felt a sharp sting in his arm and fell to the ground.

Felicia Heartstone, head of the Alfa-Omega field teams, shot Carl with a tranquilizer dart. She’d bring him back to the lab to determine why the dampening agent only worked for twelve hours rather than the twenty- four that they needed for the full voting cycle. After she finished testing him she’d send him home and feed him to his wife. A girl’s gotta eat.  Aside from that little glitch everything was working out as planned.  She smiled and lit a cigarette.

.......

Lonfeld P. Dumplefrump, billionaire extraordinaire, master manipulator and facilitator, and candidate for the dictatorship of America, was as happy as a pig in mud. Operation Orange was a raging success. Dr Vomitin came through for him. He secured the Woman vote. Victory was his. The only downside was that he now had a serious zombie problem. He directed his team to round up all the zombies and release them into the interior of Mexico. He realized now was time to get started in building that wall, got to keep that riff-raff out of the good old U.S. of A.

 

 

 

 

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RC

11-20-2016

©Robert F. Callaci All Rights Reserved

(A Political Satire)

Author's Note

this is a fun piece-it;s not meant to offend but to poke a little fun at our incoming president.