Once Upon a Alligator

let's bask in the sun

Once Upon a Alligator

I was taking a swim in the Utopian Swamps when I saw a hungry looking alligator rushing towards me. You can imagine my alarm on being eaten by such a creature. I was in a mortal shell at the time and would most definitely

feel all the agony any creature would feel upon being eaten alive. Of course I would regenerate and turn back into my original form of the Fiddler, but not before feeling every agonizing bone crunching bite that the hungry old alligator would inflict upon me.

As the alligator was about to take a bite on one of my legs, I pleaded with him to reconsider. He stopped in mid-bite, looking quite surprised. In a series of bellows he said,

“How is it that a smelly morsel of a human speaks alligatorese? You are creatures of heaven, not of earth. Millennia’s ago, humans lost the ability to understand the language of the beasts when you discarded the ways of earth to become god’s pets. Before I eat you, you will tell me how you learned to speak and understand my language. I dislike your kind too much to let you go; besides you taste like chicken and I do love dark meat. Hurry up and answer, I’m starving.”

I tapped him four times on his snout (alligators like that) and said,

“My Dear Fellow, looks can be quite deceiving, I know the languages of all the beasts of the world. I along with God was part of the creation process. As a matter of fact, it was I that designed your kind. This mortal body you see before is just a mask. I was causing a little havoc amongst the humans and needed to don this human shell. I’m known amongst your kind as the Fiddler, and would appreciate it if you would let me swim on my way. This mortal shell is due to expire within the hour. Believe me; my meat would make you sick.”

The alligator stared at me long and hard and let out a bellow the whole swamp heard. He said,

“I knew you smelled different! I hope you can forgive me for trying to eat you, but you looked delicious. I can see now that you are the Fiddler, by the devilish look in your eyes. And besides humans don’t have red pupils. It’s an honor to meet you; my mate will be in a tizzy when she hears of this. She’s watching over our hatchlings and will be disappointed that she missed meeting you. My name is Cyrus Wishbone, elder of the Bitterford Congregation. I know you’re busy but if you can give my congregation a few minutes of your time and throw a kiss to my mate, it would be a thrill of a lifetime.”

I let out a sigh of relief, being eaten was not on my too do list. I jumped on his back and told him to lead me to his congregation. I promised him I’d stay the night, and tell them tales they would remember for the rest of their lives. I also promised them that I would lure some fat humans to their feeding grounds and protect them from any human retaliation.

We had a grand old time and rather than throwing his mate a kiss, I gave her one smack on her snout...

The End