White Sails

happiness is a warm gun

White Sails (646 Words)

Space Oddity by David Bowie https://youtu.be/yY-cZew2xTc

     My hands were shaking; it took all my effort to keep the spoon steady. As I watched the glorious China White turn to a thick gooey delight, my stomach started doing flip-flops. I was a body wreck in distress. I haven’t had a fix in five days. My head and body was screaming for the White. I was in county doing a little time for loitering and lewd behavior. I live in a cardboard box for Christ’s sake; I’m not going to piss and s**t where I sleep. Those pigs just wanted to f**k with me; they wanted me to rat out my source. That will happen when pigs fly.

 

     I stick the needle in my bruised and scarred arm and wait for the magic to happen. Relief comes in waves; everything slows down, all the bullshit and noise fades into the background. My mind drifts back to bygone days when life was filled with hopes and dreams. I replay and drift back to those times when people that I loved, loved me back, and the decisions that I made were healthy ones.

 

     I drift amongst the clouds and see a ship with massive sails headed my way. I float towards it, hoping it will accept me as one of its passengers or crew.

 

     My mind swings back to that unwelcome place called reality. How the hell did I get my hands on China White?  The best I could afford now is the black slop. Ah! Now I remember. Josephina, my fellow addict and supplier gave me the White as a gift for keeping my mouth shut. She well knew, as I did, that the White was too pure and strong for me. I was a used up junkie, no longer capable of being the #1 enforcer of the Torres Cartel. The junk ate me up which finally got me ending up living in this cardboard shithole. But I still knew too much, I needed to be silenced, I understood that, but rather than putting a bullet through my head or slitting my throat, they let me go out on the best high that the White can give. It pays to be loyal.

 

     I’m now swimming in a sea of clouds; I hear voices calling my name. “Roberto! Roberto! Swim harder or the Ship to Nowhere will pass you by.” I swim like a madman; I see Death’s arms reaching towards me. There’s no way will I let death slip away from me.  Soon iTs embrace will release me from this world of pain.

 

“The son of a b***h is unresponsive,” said the male cop. “If we don’t get his stomach pumped out in the next five minutes he’s a goner for sure.”

 

“It’s too late”, said the female cop. “All the pumping in the world is not going to bring him back. What a missed opportunity, if we only knew that this low level junkie was in reality Roberto Chavis, we would have never let him out of county. The things he could have told us.”

 

     I’m on the deck of the ship. The crew surrounds me; one by one they slap me on the back and welcome me as one of their own. The Captain barks out orders to set sail.

We unfurl the White Sails. What magnificence. Its whiteness momentarily hurts my eyes. The Six-Pointed Stars placed in the center of the sails are etched in red. They sparkle in the darkness. Forever will I float on these seas of nothingness, I will weigh anchor from port to port; sailing on a ship that goes nowhere. Death just doesn’t get better than this.

 

“The poor b*****d choked on his own vomit. He had enough heroin in him to kill a cow.

What a horrible way to die, I bet he suffered some.” The coroner placed Roberto Chavis in a body bag and zippered it shut.