time

I step into the night for the first time in my life

And waste the moments trying to keep them

Because there’s only so much time can give us

Before we’ve taken all of it

It’s the hand that feeds us

But soon we grow tired of what it has to offer

Then we bite it wanting something new

The hand retreats and from time to time

Still throws crumbs of opportunities

And we all lick it up like animals

Until we die, starved and stagnate

Having wasted our moments trying to keep them

Reviews

[Allie Miranda]

I think this poem could be better if it didn't have so many cliches in it. For instance "the hand that feeds us" is completely overused. I really like the last line, "Having wasted out moments trying to keep them." It is the best line in the poem, I'd say to keep that and work backward from there. Maybe for clarification change "much time" to "much that time" because it seems like your saying "so much time [pause] can give us" as opposed to "so much [pause] time can give us." if that makes sense.