Fatigued

bleh. needed to vent.

It’s funny how I’ve narrowly avoided

The counselor’s office & therapists couch

Simply because I spill my guts to

Any available ears, regardless if their hearts

Are soft, thawed or even presently alive

Its as if my pain is color and other people are

A canvas I’ve abused and assaulted

Under the guise of venting and freeing my senses

From the pressures that daily life lived without

A user’s manual, or instructional aids brings

After you’ve been pulled through the ringer

Dragged through the fire, left to crawl under

Tripwire without more than a prayer as protection

Or preventative measures against whatever 

the world’s decided for no reason to hit you with

You tend to view any and everything foreign to

Your situation as an option or a target

For the ammunition crafted from emotional damage

As if innocent bystanders don’t exist anymore

Part of me wants to apologize for goin on the

Quietest and unexpected acts of terrorism

Performed with tools I was born with but 

Never taught how to use for anything other than

Grabbing attention and gleaning affection.

Damned be the consequences as long as my chest

Is clear of any dead weight, never mind those I burden

Don’t ask me to care about the lives I derail

Whenever I get in my feelings and my train of thought

Jumps off-track and runs over anyone unfortunate enough

To be concerned and in my dark side’s war path.

They say hurting people hurt people. 

But what if one victim doesn’t realize his role as villain

Until the dastardly deed is already done

This vicious cycle kept alive and kicking 

Simply because no one ever showed me a safe place

To lay my weapons and armor down.

All I know is a war zone.

An impromptu hunting ground

I’m a lone wolf roaming, a lion seeking something to devour.

Reviews

[Kris]

This is too heartbreaking, the force with which it hits home. And hurting people gets awfully tiring and hurts just as much without end. This was written so well, with perfect choice of wording and broken beat. Thanks for sharing this astoundingly tragic piece!

[sakshi arora]

well written . though i dont like heartbreaking stuff your poem has been written well