Taking out the Trash

Re: Re: Journal

Dear Journal,

Thank you for your reply. It had been super helpful to me.

And you won't believe what happened in the past couple of days!

I told you about my anxiety and stuff, right? 

I've always struggled with that, and I know it's my responsibility to manage it.

So that's what I do, and I had been doing fine...

Well, until it was worsened by this mean, narcissistic, selfish person.

I had allowed myself to be devoured by the monster that has always been eating him alive.

That's why I reached out to you, my journal, in the first place.

Doing that gave me the strength to attend my lectures but not the strength to stand up.

But then someone's hand reached into the darkness that I was being consumed by, and that someone showed me the end of the tunnel, giving me a glimpse of the scars on her non-dominant wrist as she led me there. 

The wake-up call snapped me back to reality faster than Eminem's Lose Yourself.

I was back to who I have always been, perhaps stronger or simply more resilient.

But more importantly, I could now see that the whole shenanigan was not about me at all.

It was all about him, capital-H-Him, capitalized-HIM, and subconsciously his Master.

However, I saw that that slave of Narcissism had made his problem others' which is under no circumstances acceptable. 

I was furious, mention-his-name-and-a-positive-adjective-in-the-same-sentence-and-I'll-burn-everything-down furious.

So I reached out to the negatively affected and let them know what's really going on, a decision I don't regret making.

I allowed myself to pick him apart privately, just so I won't do it publicly. You know I would have known exactly where to hit for critical damage, Professor Sweet-Dreams-Everyone and the toxic DOTA2 community taught me that much.

Well, I'm not a fan of public shaming anyway.

The only things I did in public was eliminating his toxicity from my life; even though I truly believe he should seek professional help to tackle his crippling issue, his problem isn't mine to solve.

The irony is that ignoring toxic narcissistic people angers and hurts them the most.

In any case, I took out that trash last night. 

Coincidentally, it was also the night before my area's trash day when I would normally take out my literal trash. 

That's two birds in one stone, or "one bullet, two birds," as my dad would always repeat.

It's a little sad that since I'm getting better I won't be hearing from you, but please know that you also played a role in my journey to recovery.

I know you'll have the compulsion to tell me this anyway, so I'll let you know right here right now that I will take care of myself and reach out for help when if I need it.

Goodbye for now, Journal, as you would wish I had not needed you again.

P.S. You're my favorite self-proclaimed a*****e.

Sincerely yours,

Wathanya

Author's Note

Goodbye, Journal...

Gah! Lord of Formatting! This is not the time!

Reviews

[Scarlet]

Well I know what you're talking about. So good job getting through it and moving on. Also if you're going to miss your journal then you can still journal. I write about things that make me excited or happy memories. It helps me remember good things. Glad you're doing better.

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Thank you. The thing about my journalling is that Journal is only present when something really bad is happening. I can technically still journal, and it will be fun; but it wouldn’t be the same—it wouldn’t be with Journal.

In any case, I hope you’re feeling well too.