Beginning

I fall to the ground and sob as I watch him walk out the door. He came into my house seduced me and then got up telling me he was in love with someone else packed his stuff and left. I know what I have to do. With a new determination I run to the kitchen and get a knife then run out the door, "HEY!"I wait until he turns to me then I drag the blade across my throat and fall to the ground. Just as I'm about to die...

I jerk awake breathing hard and Gabe wakes up instinctively pulling me into his arms, "Did you have another dream about Derek?" I nod and hide in his chest. Derek the guy who abandoned me for a male prostitute he met at his bachelors party. Derek who took my virginity then walked out on me like it was nothing. Derek the guy who promised to love me and hold me forever... Gabe isn't like that... Is he? I look up at him and fear races through me.

He must know what I'm thinking because his gaze softens and he says, "I love you. I'll never hurt you like he did. I'll never make you feel neglected or make you worry I'm going to run off with someone else." He tightens his grip and smiles jokingly, "Besides I'm not going gay anytime soon."

I smile back feeling myself blush, "Yeah I guess I'm being silly." I smile and kiss him and hide in his chest feeling reassured. He really IS sweet. I'm glad I met him. I snuggle closer feeling safe for now but knowing the fear will come back soon. It always does when I'm just beginning to be happy. I sigh and look at the clock which reads 7:15 am. "I'm going to get in the shower." I quickly kiss him and get up walking to the bathroom.

I look in the mirror then quickly look away. How can anybody think I'm beautiful? I slide out of my pajamas putting on steaming hot water then step in. I start washing my hair then stop and sit in the bathtub with the water flowing down my hair and back like a comforting caress. Water heals. I lean into it letting it run down my face in the tears I can't seem to produce when I need them the most. Slowly the rhythm of the water clears my mind and I can think. Gabe is so nice to me. He hasn't pushed me to do anything I don't want to or yelled at me because I said the wrong thing. I softly smile and blush. He even asked me to the movies. He's the type of guy I should be with and I really like him. Feeling better I get up and finish washing my hair and step out feeling happier. I dry off and put on the clothes I picked out and walk back into the bedroom to see him snoring softly and cuddling my pillow.

I softly giggle and pull the cover over him sneaking out of the room. I see the cat bounding towards me so I quickly shut the door because it seems her favorite part of the morning is waking us up. I bend down and pick her up holding her against my chest and petting her as I go into the kitchen. "No waking daddy up this morning, Olivia. He doesn't have work and he needs more sleep." I kiss her forehead and set her down giving her a treat then move around the kitchen to make tea. 

Just as the coffee pots finished making the tea Gabe comes in fully dressed and kisses my cheek, "So when do you want to go see that movie. I'LL pay this time." I giggle because on our first date he didn't have the money to pay so I had to.

"Anytime you want because I have the whole day free." I hug him tight and kiss him softly. "Within a reasonable time though. No time that goes past 10:30 because we both have work tomorrow."

"Hmmm so about three then. I need to go shopping today." He kisses my cheek and grabs his coat heading out the door. I follow him on the steps and wait til he turns around to look at me then I blow him a kiss. He get's a goofy grin and catches it then climbs in the car and takes off towards the way of the supermarket. 

I go back into the house to find that the puppy's awake and I bend down to stroke his head, "Good morning Oliver. Did you sleep well?" He yips happily and races around my feet so I let him out into the backyard. I wait for him to finish running his energy off then let him come back inside giving him a treat. I sigh and go sit in the window staring out at the weeping willow Gabe got me for our one year anniversary. I can't believe we've been dating for over a year and he still hasn't gotten sick of me... I can't believe he remembered that I love weeping willows. I close my eyes leaning my head against the window and slowly my world fades to black.