Running away from him!

Two sisters run away from Grell

My brown curly hair got caught by the rushing wind. As I was sliding across the ground. My pale skin was scratched up. I heard the man laugh. His voice evil but sweet like blood. Thats the excat color of his hair and eyes. A blood red, sweet red.  I held a blade in my hand , my blue eyes hoping(sp?) to kill him. But Thats impossible , Hes a shinigami! I raised myself from the ground my black dress dirty and unclean. I couldn't give up now. I saw out of the cornor(sp?) of my eye Carter, my sister. Growling .
"Oh How cute are you girls!" His laughed. Grell ... 
"How stupid are you for letting me run away!" I screamed , turnning back to Carter. Picking her up and carrying her away from this man .... Reaper.. THING!  Her short blond hair kept hitting my cheek. Her dark red dress toren up the sides. She kept looking back .
"Emily..." Carter's voice was trembling and sweet."Put me down." I stared at her in shock , I ran about  4 yards  away from this guy and she wants me to put her down!?  But as stupid as I am I do it. 
"What do you have in mind?" I knew I sounded harsh. But She always has a plan , It usaully gets us(by us I mean me) in trouble.I looked down into her eyes unwillingly. They are the oppisite of mine , their like Mom's. Honest,dark blue eyes."What is it ,Carter? We have to go ,now!"
"We have to split up." Carter ordered.
"But!" I shouted, I knew he was getting near. But me and Carter have never been apart. Not since our mom was killed by Grell. Our dad was also taken by Mom's death.Soon after he went to work more often. Until , He never came home at all. Then, after a few days of not seeing him ;we got a letter that said our dad was killed by someone. I had a feeling it was heart break but It was really just William T. Spears. (Yet another Shinigami ) Since then we've rejected help. Until, Grell paid us a little visit here in the woods. Our home .Well, Our new home.....Untill now...."We can't Carter!!!"
"But we must if we don't we will die!" Carter screamed."Go! NOW!"
I couldn't bear to look at her or say goodbye. So ,I just ran away . Ran, and ran and ran. Tears streaming down my cheeks. My nose running. Awful. I must of been running forever cause that was what it felt like. I was running only for about ten minutes. When I came apon a gaint, four-story Manson; with a beatufull flower bed at the front.I felt that Grell was near; fliched back to make sure he wasn't there. There was a window  open on the 3rd floor. I  decided to jump up there. And thats what I did I got a running start and I jumped. It felt like I was flying, even though it lasted about five seconds. I landed on the hard wood, it would give me some spliters. I pulled myself in  breathing heavily. Then I heard a soft,sliky voice.
"Are you alright?" I looked up to see a tall man about in his 20's."I believe you jumped into this house."

Author's Note

COMMENT

Reviews

[william keepers]

An interesting read Killer. I can appreciate the way the narrator takes the story from short, choppy grammar to a more proper form to define the split characters. You do this very well in poetry which of course allows for this to happen. The thing is, the structure of story writing is not as flexible. I really like the split personality theme though and I believe that if you focus on character developement rather then grammatical differences, you'll make it work!