If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?

I remember back to december.

Back to when winter was

cold and cruel.

If

I could go back.

I don't know what I would do.

 

I'd probably suffocate because of

You.

 

I wish you didn't flood my thoughts.

I

Can't

get you out of my head.

 

You turned me into a living monster.

You were the only reason to

live.

 

Now theres nothing I can't do

Without

You.

 

Turning my words on

me,

Flipping them inside out,

Twisting their meanings.

 

I don't see

why

it was you I had to fall for.

 

You, that I followed like

a lost puppy.

 

You

aren't

the same as you once were.

 

I remember when you used to tell me

everything.

 

How nothing mattered more to

you

than me.

That you would do anything

just to hear my voice.

 

That you is

dead.

Dead and long gone.

You won't even look at my face

when I'm talking to you.

 

Yet

you bad mouth me

everytime you get.

 

Did anything ever mean anything to you

?

Author's Note

Kinda just decided to play with formatting tell me whatcha think! :D

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

I think this is quite the most brilliant title for a poem I've ever read! However, the style of the poem itself doesn't really match the style of the title which is a bit of a missed opportunity. It's a little like picking up a beautifully drawn comic with new fantastic superheroes on the cover and finding the contents of Marx's Das Kapital inside. Anyway, putting aside the preconception I got from the title here's the rest of my review...

The innovative formatting does work quite well although it does suffer on certain screen resolutions (I initially managed to miss the right hand column on my first read and thought you'd developed a really odd style). As always I like to see experimentation and this is quite novel. More importantly the rigidity of structure that you forced on yourself by having this 'title column' hasn't taken away from the poem itself or made it stilted or awkward. You've managed to capture the eye without killing the brain!

Poetically there's an appropriate helping of angst, regret and pain that one would expect from a break-up poem and it's nicely held together by the structure. As there are so many poems on Writers Cafe exploring this subject from every angle I think what you've done with the title and layout has introduced a welcome change to what is something of a stale subject.

In conclusion this is a decent poem which should be held in better esteem by an innovative structure and a quite brilliant title.

[Jeremy Baker]

Very cleverly done, it brings a new dimension to the reading and allows another aspect of your art to be appreciated.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

A great narrative to the poem, nice penning :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this title. Could be a good song this poem. Sometime love can turn from sweet to hell. When hell is the emotion. Time to run and keep a good distance away. A strong ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Short.Nerd]

I thought the formatting was kinda cool. It confused me at first and took me a minute to figure it out, but once I figured it out I really liked it. The poem was pretty great too :) Excellent job!

[Emma Lee]

Yeah... No... That confused Emily. D: