If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?

I remember back to december.

Back to when winter was

cold and cruel.

If

I could go back.

I don't know what I would do.

 

I'd probably suffocate because of

You.

 

I wish you didn't flood my thoughts.

I

Can't

get you out of my head.

 

You turned me into a living monster.

You were the only reason to

live.

 

Now theres nothing I can't do

Without

You.

 

Turning my words on

me,

Flipping them inside out,

Twisting their meanings.

 

I don't see

why

it was you I had to fall for.

 

You, that I followed like

a lost puppy.

 

You

aren't

the same as you once were.

 

I remember when you used to tell me

everything.

 

How nothing mattered more to

you

than me.

That you would do anything

just to hear my voice.

 

That you is

dead.

Dead and long gone.

You won't even look at my face

when I'm talking to you.

 

Yet

you bad mouth me

everytime you get.

 

Did anything ever mean anything to you

?

Author's Note

Kinda just decided to play with formatting tell me whatcha think! :D

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

I think this is quite the most brilliant title for a poem I've ever read! However, the style of the poem itself doesn't really match the style of the title which is a bit of a missed opportunity. It's a little like picking up a beautifully drawn comic with new fantastic superheroes on the cover and finding the contents of Marx's Das Kapital inside. Anyway, putting aside the preconception I got from the title here's the rest of my review...

The innovative formatting does work quite well although it does suffer on certain screen resolutions (I initially managed to miss the right hand column on my first read and thought you'd developed a really odd style). As always I like to see experimentation and this is quite novel. More importantly the rigidity of structure that you forced on yourself by having this 'title column' hasn't taken away from the poem itself or made it stilted or awkward. You've managed to capture the eye without killing the brain!

Poetically there's an appropriate helping of angst, regret and pain that one would expect from a break-up poem and it's nicely held together by the structure. As there are so many poems on Writers Cafe exploring this subject from every angle I think what you've done with the title and layout has introduced a welcome change to what is something of a stale subject.

In conclusion this is a decent poem which should be held in better esteem by an innovative structure and a quite brilliant title.

[Kate Hunter]

It's really creative and fun to read. It's well written and very excellently portrayed. Keep writing!

[Dreamer<3]

The title... is perfect. Not gonna lie. And I really like this poem.

[Andreisfree]

"turning my words on me,
flipping them inside out"
...great poem...great title...great ending :)

[Nate E. Flake (Cösmic ..]

ha. the title is pretty clever. not to mention the format was not the typical. This seems like it would be lyrics.

[Mark]

It's a different way to break short, poignant thoughts. Always beware someone who won't look you in the eyes :-)

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Nice title and the flow of reading like a sterling cascade..

[李[A]]

Yay, I'm enjoying the fact that you're revisiting your style of writing! It seems a bit overused, but nonetheless I really like the way you used it! In terms of theme and development of the story, I like the fact that you seem to be very aboveboard in your methods to describe such phenomenon. Also, the personal element is always a plus. Great job on another poem like this! Kudos to you!

[.]

really clever format..interesting and emotional poem, you didn't lose any of the impact through trying to make it fit ..nice work

[alexlessah]

The format and the whole poem is really amazing!