I hope she's everything Im not

When I look at your picture,

See you on the street,

hear your name.

One and only one word comes to mind

each and every time.

Apathy, even after everything you put me through.

 

You said forever

then you spit every word back

in my face.

Hissing like a rattlesnake

in a frenzy.

 

Shame on

you for lying.

 

I thought you and

me

would make it through

but we faded.

She drove us apart

for

good.

 

You told me we'd be alright

Me

Believing

you every night things got rough.

 

I cant tell

you

how dead Ive been since you left.

Is she everything you've ever wanted?

I hope she is.

 

I hope she's everything Im not.

Author's Note

wrote this a long time ago.

Reviews

[Teri B]

You handle this poetic form so well! And here, the side matter conveys a separate feeling from your last iine, which seems to negate the value of the speaker, where the side matter asserts it!

[李[A]]

The structural format of this poem is purely amazing! I really like how this expresses your emotions in such a creative way! Way to go!

[Aarontastic]

Definitely a pretty angsty poem and it's not hard to see why >.< I liked it though; the 2-in-1 structure is a form that I really like. Break-ups are hard, but break-ups where the person you're with falls out of love with you for someone else are the hardest. Writing about it makes things a lot more bearable though.

[Tkess]

I like the structure of this one. To me it is interesting how the words on the right make up their own stanza.

[Dreamer<3]

Woahhhh. Not only is this amazing, but I loveeeee how you have the words off to the side that are like a poem within a poem. Really drives the meaning home. This is fantastic.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Beautiful and emotional piece, love it loads :)

[metaltylah]

I can feel the passion, the fury, and the raw emotion in your words - it's beautiful

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem a lot. I like the set-up and how the real emotion is on the side with strength. This poem remind me of a song. Could be music? Most people learn too late they held a diamond when they realize they are holding fool's gold. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Jaded Mermaid]

"I can't tell you how dead I've been since you left." Those lines are instant emotion in your reader, they spark a passion, kind of reminds me of sharks in an ocean going after their food.

[gymnasticsgirl-101]

This is really really really really good! I love the way you formatted it! I can feel your emotions! Thanks for sharing!