The nothingness that is my life

For Dexter; My love xD

As I lay my head on the summer green,
My nose is filled with the sweet scent
of freshly cut grass,
this summer is unlike any other,
Its filled with

Love

Unlike anything Ive ever experienced.

The sun illuminates his dark brown,
coarse hair, turning it a light brown.
I realize that this moment may

Never

come again,

My world is filled hate,
anger fills my chest, with
its wrath, consuming my soul,
I don't know how long this

Lasts.

He looks down at me
and smiles a half smile
Half grin,
I can't control the happiness that
his presence brings me,
That occupies this vacancy.

It's unreal,

It's

as if, I am
in a lucid state of mind.

I don't want to wake to the
silent screams of my heart telling me
that I'm wrong, that I'm setting
myself up to fail. 

A

few days pass as I sit
and stare into this vacancy
that consumes my brain,
I stare into the darkness
Looking, for something
anything to help.
This is all a dream,

I'm living a

Lie.

 

Author's Note

I tried Ellen Hopkins style of writing... try finding the hidden message. review please! I need to know what I need to improve on

Reviews

[RonnieBreight]

HOLY. Like, honestly, you should just grow up and be a writer, because you are so amazing. This is amazing. I love the hidden message, but I love that it makes sense and flows well within the poem as well. This is beyond words. It's, spectacular even? Hmmm, I'm not sure, but seriously, this is good. Really good. Never stop writing. Ever.

[.]

Interesting concept and it works well..got a little lost in the third stanza..wasn't sure why it was there...maybe your turmoil at that time..it probably would stand better as the fifth stanza...anyway solid poem...

[Michaela Briggeman]

Holy crap....this is youre style Manda. Not even kidding. This is really good. Like really really good. I am so...wowed by it. I found the hidden message lol. Pretty good for me at this point. Haha. Anyway getting back to the review of yoour writing-squirrell!- lol right...your writing. Amazing! Love love love it. Keep it up and dont give up! *laughs* (it rhymes...)lol i had a mt Dew....if that helps explain the extra randommneess....and the bad grammar and or spelling issues!! Haha Love you Manda!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a great poem. I do like the hidden message as well. This does have a nice steady flow. I like your writing as well. This was very good. Thanks for sharing. :)

[AchingAlexandra]

I love how you were inspired by Ellen Hopkins. I love her work.
You did very well, but some of the sentences don't flow.
I enjoyed it a lot though.

[Geralyn Miller]

Terrific work, you did an incredible job incorporating the literary device smoothly into the whole of the work, it flows and isn't jarring to the rhythym.