ITA Story by watchman55
IT I People often
ask me what it was like. I tell them that it was like nothing they
would ever understand or comprehend. This answer rarely goes down well, but the
truth is they are ignorant. They do not know the horror that lurks inside of a
man’s soul, that deep, animalistic, savage side of oneself that society has
trained us to hide. We are like caged animal, you can only be held in check for
so long and when the lock does eventually break the wild ferocity cannot be
stopped. I have seen the cruel underbelly of this city and its inhabitants, I
have lived through the events of that night. Like a baptism of fire and blood I
have been reborn, I once was blind but now I can see. I can see
the pity in the eyes of those who behold my loathsome figure, but, more
importantly I can see their disgust and contempt. It has changed these
people, they are now shells of their former selves, nothing can change what has
happened and nothing will ever be able to undo what has been done. When I am
out walking I see it. When I am working I see it. When I close my eyes
I see it. Like a plague it has spread through this town and
its people, causing pain and suffering to those around. The hooks are in too
deep, and every day they get a little bit deeper. It is never over and it is
truly inescapable. II The clock struck the hour and looking up from his desk the man sighed. It was Friday night and he had been chosen to stay late at the office to finish up work on the magazine. Averting his gaze from the clock in the hopes that time would pass quicker, he turned his attention back to the image on his screen. Squinting; he attempted to read a sentence that was displayed at the top of an article. He began rubbing his eyes and cursed the fact he had left his glasses at home. Becoming tired of his work he got up and walked towards the window. Gazing at
the city street below, he pressed his hands up against the glass. He studied
the view and saw something joyous in the humble road. From inside even the
pavement was like the snake, tempting him towards wrongdoing. He knew he could
not leave but a sudden sense of longing had overcome him, he wanted to be free
from the confines of his cell and outside, able to gaze up at the night’s sky
above him and to marvel at the far off stars. Oh the stars, he thought, sailing
through the sky as if it were a vast ocean and the moon like a lighthouse’s
beacon guiding them all home. He clenched
his hand into a fist as he realised his idle daydreams were getting him no closer
to his seducer and moved to resume his position at his workstation. It was at
this moment he was halted in his tracks by a distant noise. It was faint at
first but grew louder with each passing second, it was the roar of anger, a
passionate anger emitting from an unknown source. Enthralled by this sudden
development he rushed back to the window and saw a crowd gathering on the very
streets he had just been admiring. Wasting no time he grabbed his coat and
hastened to join them.
III I awoke from
a restless slumber, my nightmares once again consumed by visions of it.
I felt the sweat buds trickling down my forehead as my heart rate slowly
reduced to a normal pace. Raising my hand I wiped the water droplets from my
brow. Pulling the covers off of my body I rose from my place of sleep. Darkness
has enveloped the room echoing my very being. It has engulfed me. I am
left without hope, without a light to guide me on. I reach out for the light
switch and turn it on. The light bulb sparks to life. The spark; that is what
today will be. This day will be the end of it. I begin
dressing calmly as I try to repress the images in my head, brought about by the
nights fever dream. In the dreamscape I was being chased by a pack of feral
animals through the street upon which I resided. I was not alone in my terror,
there were others there too, and I recognised them as my neighbours, teachers
and people I had seen strolling in the street. The beasts were descending upon
the group; almost deriving a sick pleasure from our squeals of horror. We could
not match their pace and the group thinned one by one. The animals clawed at
the scrawny humans, ending their lives before feasting upon what was left. I
ran until my muscles ached and my lungs were on fire. Turning back I saw that
the beasts had given up the chase in order to devour their prey. My respite was
not a victory however as I saw the streets, now a river of blood, and the dead
littering the paths. Then it came. Creeping through the dead
like a spectre, it was more than mortal. I fell to the floor cowering in fear. It conjured
up such feelings of sheer terror I could no longer move. With a wisp of its hand
a great fire rose up and consumed my body. The pain had been incredible and I
saw it
laughing as the flames danced and spread around me. It was at this
stage that there had been a loud banging noise from outside which had awoken me
from my torture. Shuddering I placed on my final item of clothing. I was
finished dressing. I would never
have another night like the last. I would stop these nightmares today. This was
the day in which it ends. IV A sudden
sense of urgency had sprung over him. He could not understand why but for some
reason he felt as if something spectacular was about to occur and that if he
did not join in he may regret it. Unlocking the office door, he began to
descend the steps. One step down, two steps down, as he travelled forward he
found himself taking lengthier bounds as each second past. It was at moments
like this he cursed himself for being unfit and also working on the top floor.
However still he pressed on heading further downwards and getting closer and
closer to his destination. After a few
minutes of travel he finally saw the exit. Like a moth is drawn to a flame he
was pulled toward it. His pulse was quickening as he used every ounce of his
power to move his figure nearer and nearer. He knew he had to reach the
outdoors. He just knew it. The final steps were beneath him now. He stopped as
he reached the ground floor. Turning he looked back at the mass of stairs he
had just traversed. His pilgrimage was over. He placed a hand on the door and
pushed. V I emerge
from my flat and lock the door. I scan the hall to make sure no one is around
before making my way to the elevator and pressing the button. The double doors
slide open and I enter. I press the button for the ground floor. This is it. My
journey has begun. The descent is a slow one but sadly not a quiet one as I can
hear the mechanical crunching and scrapings of the machinery straining to
transport me. I am thankful no one joins me in the enclosed space as I feel my
nerves beginning to fray and my hands start to shake, out of rage or fear I
could not fathom. Gripping the metal bar around the edge of the elevator gave
me some comfort as I could grind my hands around it to alleviate the shaking. I
felt as if I was in purgatory, waiting for judgement for what felt like an
eternity. I must have been in favour today as with that thought the doors slid
open, freeing me from the metallic death-trap. I step out
of the door and closing it behind me look out at the expansive street ahead. To
reach my destination I must travel through the city streets, which means
confronting the hordes that see me not as a man, but as a bird with a pierced
wing, I feebly try to fly, to be free from the confides of the earth and soar
up into the heavens, but I fail, I never make it off the ground. I am doomed to
live out a pitiful existence. I am trapped by circumstance. It has
done this to me. I set off
walking deliberately slowly as to avoid drawing attention from any onlookers.
With each step I take I feel more and more afraid, the safety of my home is
long behind me, ahead lays only the task at hand. As I walk I think back to my
dream and shudder, the fear grows with each passing second. I have no time to
focus on fear I tell myself, I know that the job needs to be done and this drives
me forward. It lies ahead. It must be stopped. VI The door
flung open. The cool wind rushed into the corridor chilling him to the bone and
causing him to shiver. This did not bother him as he stared at the open street
through the doorframe as if studying a work of art on display in a gallery. He
was totally transfixed by the sight. He peered closer as the artwork sprang to
life in front of his every eyes. The roar of the crowd grew louder as more
people rushed past his frame to join the larger horde. The outdoors
appeared to him to be a wild perhaps even magical place, one that was full of
the unknown, a sense of mystery and of awe. He did not know if what was out
there but he knew he wanted to find out. Looking back at the stairs behind him
he could see the light shining from his open office door. The warmth of the light
did not entice him now. He had bathed in it for far too long. Once it had been
a safe and secure haven but with time it had grown stale and dull. Now there
was something new, something fresh and something exciting for him waiting just
outside the door. He dropped
his coat and took a step forward tentatively, then another. Whilst his legs
ached from exertion he had to know what was happening and why so many others
had made their own private pilgrimages to this location. He emerged from the
doorway almost triumphantly, driven by a desire for answers and a tantalising
feeling that he would never forget the events that were about to occur. Spying
the main body of the group a bit further up the street he began to move towards
them. VII The journey
had gone pleasantly well until, rounding a corner I come upon the first of my
victims. A young woman walks my way chatting idly on her mobile phone. Ignorant
of her surroundings she bumps into me and hurriedly turns to apologise. I too
turn and her face whitens with horror (one might have mistaken her for being
deathly ill), stammering out an apology she flees, as they all do now. I find
this stirs no emotional response on my part, I am used to this reaction.
Instead I focus on the matter at hand and move to continue my journey. In the back
of my mind I see it hanging over me, dominating my every thought and action. I
am like a puppet, it is pulling my strings and I obey without any way of fighting
back. I curse under my breath and find myself filled with resolve to end this
tyrannical reign. As I edge
ever nearer to my destination, I wonder how much time has passed since it had
altered me. I try to recall how many months, maybe days have passed but I
cannot. They are all one hazy blur now. The dream I had this morning was more
real than the supposed reality I inhabit now. It is as if I am like a plane on
autopilot when I am awake, I complete my necessary functions without much
thought or recollection of my actions. The images of family, friends and
co-workers blend into one. I cannot distinguish anyone or anything. I am
hopeful that today will change that. Today I am awake. I am fully conscious.
After today I start anew. A life without it. Oh it shall be glorious. I reach
a bend and after manoeuvring around it emerge onto the main streets. I am
quickly engulfed by the horde. VIII The buzzing
of the crowd was immense, he thought as he reached the ensemble. The group was
expanding at a rapid rate and he found himself mysteriously invigorated by this
strange occurrence. The exhaustion that had gripped him mere moments earlier
was now replaced by palpable excitement. He was eager to understand what was
causing this event and pushed through the outskirts of the crowd hoping to find
answers. Peering over
the heads of the group he could make out one lone female figure standing on the
bonnet of a car. With the street lights shining above her she looked as if she
were some sort of divine being, sent down to guide those gathered. This figure
whistled loudly and the group promptly fell silent. Intrigued, he began to
force his way towards the front of the people in the hopes of getting closer to
this woman, this enigma on display in front of him. Like a Bee drawn to honey
he weaved through the gathered figures who were all too busy standing in awe to
notice him. After some effort he finally reached his goal. It was at
this stage that he observed that all of those gathered appeared to be like
bees, scuttling around in the hive, watching and waiting for the queen to give
them instruction. They all stood deathly quiet as the leader scanned over the
crowd. Looking back he saw that the group had now filled the entire street,
gazing up he saw others staring through their open windows. This angel
commanded all of these people’s attention. He was both parts impressed and
intrigued. She opened her mouth to speak and he held his breath wondering what
awaited him. IX My resolve
is wavering as I walk down the expansive road ahead of me attempting to hide
myself from the view of those around me. I gazed down at the pavement, drawn to
the pattern in which the cracks had formed. It looked look a maze upon which
one could find themselves trapped for an eternity as there was no escape from
the confides of the concrete. I shuddered as I realised this was not dissimilar
to my own feelings and decided to avert my gaze focussing on the people ahead
instead. There was a
flow to the way in which people traversed a street, one in which you would
never notice unless closely observing as I was. It was a systematic and cold system,
you would press forward in your own personal bubble, attempting to avoid others
by looking at a phone, your watch or even just your feet. We live in an
anti-social age. I could not help but wonder if it had caused this to?
However there are inconsistencies to this system. If something is so strange or
out of the ordinary the system can break down. Such a thing was happening now
as a small child had fixated his gaze upon me. Staring back at the boy I felt
as if he, of all people, could see into my very soul. His scrutiny lasted for a
long while. Perhaps he could sense my
pain, my struggles and my anguish by simply looking at me. Unlike the response
of other adults he smiled at me, and despite myself I grinned. The simple
purity of the child astonished me. Perhaps it had not destroyed everything. X The
excitement that had gripped him quickly vanished. It was replaced with an
overwhelming sense of despair and anxiety. The angelic queen he had rushed
forward to see had transformed into satanic demon. In his bemusement he stood
and watched as the beast picked up a bat and smashed the glass window of the
car upon which she stood. It shattered and splintered; flying off into a
variety of different directions. With this declaration chaos quickly followed. He watched
as the beast threw herself at another savage and the two struggled. She managed
to claim two swift blows with her weapon before three others joined the fray.
Outnumbered she desperately tried to fight back but was beaten to a bloody pulp
before his eyes. The image of her body laying mangled in front of him made him
feel sick and he turned to flee. Stumbling
through the hellish scene he found himself at the centre of the horde, engulfed
in the madness that had consumed these once sane people. Now they appeared to
him as little more than wild animals. It was as if they had been freed from
captivity and the streets were now their hunting grounds. He watched as one
beast dug his fangs into the chest of a lesser animal and heard it squeal in
pain as blood burst from its chest. Closing his eyes, he prayed now for his the
cell that was his office. There it was safe and although trapped he realised it
had kept him from the savages outside. Looking up to the night’s sky he saw
that no stars sparkled now, it was as if even they had forsaken him. XI My journey
had been mercifully uneventful up to this stage. I had negotiated the main
streets and fortunately had done so in a peaceful manner. After my brief
encounter with that small child I even began to find my spirits unusually
uplifted. However I had yet to navigate possibly the most dangerous path yet. I
felt my stomach churn due to this newfound worry. It was beginning to
affect me. Moving onto
the next street I saw a crowd of people ahead of me. My heart began to pound as
if to the rhythm of some unseen drum. I could feel the sweat buds forming on my
forehead. It was engulfing me. I kept my head down and pressed forward
diligently. I was now level with the group and began to pass them. Time
appeared to have slowed as I kept my eyes from meeting theirs. Fortunately the
group did not note my presence and my anxiety slowly faded with each step I put
between myself and them. Each footstep was a small victory and soon I had
gained enough ground to allow myself to breathe again. After spending a few
moments recovering I sighed, this truly was an awful life. Curse it. XII Staring up
into the night’s sky, surrounded by the savages, he wondered if this was the
end. Had he been damned by some higher spirit for leaving the safety that had
been given to him? He had been ungrateful, eager to disobey and now he had been
left to rot amongst the freshly dead. Clasping his hands together he prayed to
anyone that might be listening that he might be saved. This prayer
appeared to fall upon deaf ears as he was drawn back to reality when an
explosion nearby knocked him down. Stumbling to his feet he realised that he
would have to find his own way out of this situation. The beasts continued to
hunt and he felt their eyes fall upon him as he began to move away. The savages
appeared to enjoy the hunt as they stalked him through the under grove of the
dead. Flames from
the explosion were spreading quickly to other buildings. He glanced back at the
fire as it roared. Perhaps this is hell? He wondered. We are being punished for
our sins. The hunters were nearing him. The fun of toying with their prey was
growing thin. One of the beasts pounced causing him to lose his footing and
topple into the remnants of a nearby building. The flames roared once again
encircling him, warding off the monsters. As they fled he left out a gasp of
joy, praising the spirit that had just saved him. However it was at this moment
he was left with the crushing realisation that he had been left to a worse
fate. Surrounded by the piercing fire he cried out for mercy. XIII I was
nearing the end of my trek now. I felt as if I had been travelling for a long
time. Ever since that day in fact. My whole life had been leading up to this
one moment in time. I felt my inhibitions leaving me. I had been burdened with
glorious purpose and I intended to see my task done. It could not continue. It had
caused so much suffering, brewed so much hate and caused so much anguish. It
would not see the end of this day. I was mere
paces away from my destination now. A man walked towards me and without a word
placed the bag into my hands. This had all been pre-planned. I stopped to check
that the item was suitable for the job. Running my hands along it and twisting
it in my palm I deemed it to be worthy and pocketed the object. I strode
forward a few more steps and stood facing the door. Looking up at a sign I knew
I was in the right place. I knew that behind this inanimate object lay it.
I placed a hand upon the doorknob. With it weighing heavily on my heart I
twisted and opened the door. My journey was almost over. XIV He knew that
this was the end. The all-consuming flames grew closer with every second and he
found it hard to draw breath due to the thick black smoke that hung overhead.
In his final moments he pondered as to what he had achieved. He had little
family left, no spouse and no children. He had been unsuccessful in his pursuit
of his dream job and had little money. He felt hopelessness unlike that of
which he had ever felt before. The blackness that was above him was the
emptiness of his heart and soul. Perhaps this fire had been sent to purge him
of the darkness that was eating away at his very core. The white, powerful
flame drew closer. He prepared for its cleansing touch to engulf him. It was in
this moment that the body overtook his mind. His soul was ready, this he knew
in his heart. His mortal body however was not. He was weak. He could not accept
his sentence. He did not know why, but he knew. He had to live. To survive. He
had to. With all his might he leapt up and burst through the mighty flames. He
felt their penetrating heat scathe his uncovered flesh as he sailed through the
air. His body struck the ground hard. He writhed in pain as he felt his skin
boiling. This was his punishment. He let out a macabre yell. As he twitched on
the ground he watched as the beasts began to disappear, slinking and crawling
back to whatever cesspit they had escaped from. They left behind only the dead
and the hellish landscape they had created. Around him the street burned. XV I ascended
the stairs slowly. I had come this far. My resolve was unshakable. I gripped
the banister as I walked. I took solace in the fact that this would soon be
over. It lay at the top these steps. I felt the object bouncing
around in my pocket. With one hand I steadied it. The other I used to propel
myself up these never-ending stairs. My pace
quickened. I was now anxious for it. Relief, happiness I could not comprehend
what I wanted; all I knew was that I was ready. I had prepared for this and now
was the time to act. Wildly I raced upwards, using both hands to pull me ever
closer to the top. My heart began to trash, my muscles strained, every fibre of
my being grew feral. My prey lay just out of reach and I hungered for the
satisfaction of the kill. It was mine to devour. With that I
reached the top. My savage impulses subdued as quickly as they had overcome me.
I could hardly understand the animalistic nature that had just overcome me, but
I knew that this was likely a product of it. Taking a breath to calm myself I
stood still until I was certain I could control myself. Looking around I saw my
destination. I strode toward the open doors at the end of the hallway. Upon
reaching them I entered the room on my left. I placed my hand upon the end of
the hospital bed. I had finally completed my journey. I had found it.
There it was. XVI He opened
his eyes with a great deal of effort. It took his vision a moment to recover.
Upon doing so he realised that it was unclear as to where he was. The room was
a blinding shade of white. For the briefest of seconds he believed he had
reached paradise. It was only when he tried to move his arms did he realise
that he was still in the mortal realm. The pain was immense and he lay back.
Craning his neck he saw his arms were bandaged. Trying to speak he found all he
could manage was an illegible squeal. For the next
few days he lay. Confined to his bed, he questioned as to whether he had
exchanged one hell for another. His flesh was damaged beyond repair, he would
walk again but it would take time and he realised nothing would be the same as
it was before. He could not return to an ordinary life after his experiences.
It was not possible. His darkened thoughts were interrupted by people who
visited occasionally, offering tidings of sympathy and the occasional smile,
but he could see their fear. His face was bandaged, as it had been scorched by
the intense flames and he dreaded what lay beneath the cloth. It took him many
days to summon the strength to remove his bindings. The tape
fell onto his lap. His skin felt sore as the cool air brushed over it. To his
side lay a mirror. With all the strength and endurance he could muster he
raised and arm and knocked it down onto his bed. He stared into it and saw
himself. Or was it himself? He did not recognise the figure he saw in the
reflection. If he could not identify himself how would anyone else? Who would
want to know him? This man who was disfigured and loathsome to the eye. He was
nothing more than a monster now. So many thoughts and questions flowed through
his head. After a few moments of utter confusion and shock the images in his
brain formed into a singular one. He could see the person clear as day in his
mind. He felt and uncontrollable rage building inside himself. In anger he
knocked the mirror to one side and ignoring the throbbing pain he felt all over
his body he let out an animalistic scream.
That was the
day I was born. XVII She lay peacefully in front of me. The
one who had been there that night. The one who had started all of this madness.
The one who had caused herself to be placed into a coma and the one who had
ruined my life. I took a moment to compose myself. I could feel every atom of
my body burning with the incessant rage her very visage brought forth. She had
done this. I was scared because of her, the city was fearful because of
her,
many had died because of her. Was she proud?
I wondered to myself. Did she even realise what she had
done. I thought myself weak to have once been taken in by her. That night had
changed this city. She had changed me. The feelings of excitement, intrigue and
joy would never be felt by me or the inhabitants of this city again. She had
caused those emotions to be destroyed, replaced instead by fear, paranoia and
resentment. I hated her. Loathed her. Despised her. The snake,
the temptress, the seducer, she was all these things and more.
Where once its mystery had enticed me I now saw her for the devil she was.
I thought back to him, my old self, so naïve and so easily swayed toward
wrongdoing. I had disobeyed and I had paid the price. Now it was time to purge
this city of this demon. I was the only person who could do this. I, the one
who had been chosen. I had lived through her terrible wrath, I had been to
hell and survived. I had been reborn. Only I knew what had to be done. She had
to die. Pulling the
gun from my pocket I took aim and pulled the trigger. In an instant the deed
was done. The red river ran once again but this time I found myself smiling as
it rained. I felt my body relax and go limp. I fell to my knees. She was gone, it was gone. But, in that
moment so was any hope for my own salvation. Forgive me.
END © 2014 watchman55Author's Note
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StatsAuthorwatchman55United KingdomAboutBath Spa University English Literature Student. Hoping to become a novelist one day...That's why I am on this site! more.. |