The Small Things

I sit on my front porch as it nears twilight hours and read,

The wind blows cold gusts,

And I curl into a bigger ball,

The buzzing on the street light indicates,

That it’s time to go in

 

I look up to see the neighborhood children,

So small and serene,

So young and imaginative

So free from the worlds cruelty

And I become nostalgic

 

The late nights of playing outside,

Even though the sun was excruciating,

Outside was still a sanctuary

You weren’t judged by your peers,

You were simply a child,

And free.

 

The sun was now almost done setting,

And I could no longer even try to read,

I grabbed my things,

And took in this neighborhood

For one last time today,

And smile.

Author's Note

i dont know, i had two more stanzas, but they didnt seem to fit but thats just what i think, im changing it up, hope you like, reviews would be nice.

Reviews

[Darryl Davis]

I think it ends well like this...doesn't really need anything else. One thought, though: I'm wondering if it wouldn't be an easier read if it were not centered.

[toniwilliamsga]

i love this it reminds me of what my mom wanted for me growing up and now what i want for my little girls and what i hope they enjoy while they can.

[Steven Daveluy]

I like the serenity and the images, It reminds me of my childhood, simpler, careless times.

[Johnny Westbrook]

very peaceful poem. really don't see no need for you to change it unless your going to add more detail. but i enjoyed reading it and kept me relaxed. :)
i remember the days of just trying to find a tree to hide behind or under a deck of stairs from the person counting to 10 when playing hide and seek. this took me back to them times :) thank you :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh to go back to those simpler times... I too enjoy watching the kids play, it reminds me innocents still exists and brings back fond memories of my childhood. A really enjoyable write... very positive and uplifting.

[Wanderlust]

Nicely conveys the apparent simplicity of childhood. Nostalgia, especially, being so weird, having that mix of sadness and happiness.

[KL]

Not bad. The wording is a bit simple for my tastes but the topic tackled more than makes up for that. I love nostalgia - it's really interesting thinking on your childhood and what it was to actually be a kid, and how you view the world back then. More people need to be as carefree, more people need to see and do everything like it's for the first time, and more people need to let down their walls and embrace everyone around us, regardless of colour, age, or background. We have much to learn from little ones, as a whole.

[roarke]

I never understand wording in poems, so if this is wrong, just ignore it.
How about "The Buzzing on "of' the street lights indicate"

The late nights of playing outside,
Even though the sun was excruciating,

I'm not catching the metaphor here, most of your words here aren't prose, so juxtaposition of nights and sun is confusing to me, but I'm probably the only one, lol.

To differentiate the present with the nostalgic past, maybe go full out with metaphor in the reminisce section. Just a left field suggestion.

I like how the most common routine activities and trigger the impressionism of our thoughts and remembrances. That's what I think you've captured very nicely here.

[Friks]

Love it, I lived the moment it is beautiful. I really think you should write book! This is perfectly intriguing and capturing material.

[Miss Coral]

I've had this exact feeling in this exact same situation so many time- really funny that you wrote this. :)
Great language and end. I think that it's fine as it is, but perhaps the other stanzas do fit? I dunno.

Either way, nice write. :)

-Coral-