Nothingness

ehh,

Clear blue skies turn to grey

And the once silent wind picks up

She standing there empty

Loneliness consumes her every move

She needs the one person she can never have

She lost her chance

The ground beneath her falls from under her feet,

She’s floating in this abyss of nothingness

Yet she’s not fighting to go back

This is where she belongs, where she wants to be

Because without him, she is nothing

Author's Note

... tell me what you think. i feel like im losing touch,

Reviews

[Steven Daveluy]

I don't think your loosing touch, but if you think you are, look at an older poem that you like, structure, rhyme scheme, etc. and try to write another like it, if it comes out different, then you are just evolving as a poet.

[paul]

great, simple opening line
second line too.
and then the uniquely human desperation
then the surreal

ahh, beautiful desperation

[Steve]

By goodness! The sadness of this write is startling........very intense and serious stuff here. I hope it isnt based on real personal events....

[Moonflower]

A lonely scene, written beautifully. I loved the natural, sinking feel to this.

Interesting. i know exactaly how you feel

[Wanderlust]

I think I know exactly what you mean.
Sometimes stark words work best.

[KL]

The minimality of this poem makes it all the more poignant, each line begs for a little more thought. Liked how you connected the title to your message so clearly, well done.

[Joshua Donahue]

i really enjoyed this! the concept was remarkable. you capture human emotion so well!!!!

[Jonathan De Elvira]

well, the message was clear obviously...
the lost of someone that meant so much to a person let to the feelings of emptiness...

if you write it a bit longer than this would be better. Don't worry, nobody will ever losing his/her touch, it's just we need more time to write a better poem sometimes....

[roarke]

losing touch? I'm not sure what you mean. This prose is simple. Not trying to over do itself. It stands perfectly clear. It doesn't ramble or leave one hanging. I'm not sure what you meant it to be or wanted it to be, but it's come into being on its own. I wouldn't mess with it, save it and let it stand for a while. If you redraft it, redraft a copy. Versions from now, you may come back to this and say, "hey, this ain't too bad."
ya heard it from me first. lol