Interspecial Relations: Whiticus Bitchicus Edition

A Story by warriorKat

Observations made on the various groups of people during lunch. >:) DISCOVERY CHANNEL STYLE! >:)

Today, Jocelyn and I agree that we are lacking in info about the behavior of the whiticus bitchicus species during feeding time. Dahlya enthusiastically jumps in and decides she would like to participate in this exclusive study. Will also decides he will engage in the documentation of the species.

From what we see, whiticus bitchicus species seem to band together during feeding time. From there, the species separate often by individual sex, creating a gender-divided feeding community of whiticus. Males stick to sitting with fellow whiticus males while the females stick to feeding with fellow whiticus females. We link this observation to the absence of copulation. However, we also see a few individuals partaking in gender intercourse "males and females sharing the same table-. It’s very possible that breeding season is around the corner.

Whiticus bitchicus males seem to all be wearing a more school spirit based attire today. These male whiticus all have on Chamberlain Track, Swim, and Baseball shirts on. They are showing off their membership by proudly supporting the school athletics. These types of whiticus males almost always sit together. Our best guess to this behavior is what the individuals have in common, being athletes. Yet, our hypothesis of homosexuality within these whiticus colonies is also quite fitting of this phenomenon.

Another few tables contain a majority of camouflage clad whiticus. These whiticus bitchicus are not just athletic in a sports-like manner, they are just incredibly physically fit. These individuals are whiticus species that participate in a program known as JROTC. They are seen wearing camouflage uniforms every Thursday. This is required of them by the program.

Whiticus females are seen flaunting their desirable characteristics in a variety of ways. Many of them are wearing their hair down, straight as a pin (usually very long in length). These females are often seen showing a lot of skin by wearing short-shorts to enhance the length of their legs. The short sleeved shirts they have on show off thin arms. They are quite tiny in comparison to some of our “big boned” negrois ghettois. Male whiticus bitchicus find small females very attractive. This is proposed as a possible quality whiticus males look for during breeding season. Even the females already claimed by a male will wear these clothes. We believe the females are always trying to get another mate. This evidence of poligamy is noted.

While noting on important characteristics we see, Will and I freeze at the sound of an unfamiliar bellow. Distracted by the loud, intense walrus-like cry, we are able quickly detect that it was emitted by a whiticus colony. We discuss this outburst, and all agree on the possibility of a male whiticus bitchicus mating call. A moment later, our eyes follow a lone whiticus bitchicus male followed by two smaller whiticus females. They are exiting the feeding grounds in a rather rushed gait. The male then looks back with a smug grin. We now excitedly conclude that it is defiantly breeding season for our whiticus species. It was closer than we predicted!

In addition, much to our surprise we’ve learned the more timid whiticus bitchicus species are just as successful at participating in sexual intercourse as their darker counterparts, the negrois ghettois. It has always been assumed that because they were commonly timid, there wasn’t a lot of mating activity. We were wrong.

Updates:

-Negrois ghettois species aren’t observed doing anything out of the ordinary. As usual, they are acting up by getting up running around, pounding on tables to make a beat in a ritual-like manner, and screaming vulgar insults at other negrois tribes. No new records.

-Hispanico latinos, Alexis and his mate, aren’t present at the feeding grounds today. Another creation of a temporary migration pattern is blamed.

-Our newly classified species, Orientis Asianis, haven’t successfully been located during feeding time. This species is proving to be quite elusive to our observations. They are rumored to be incredibly shy creatures.