first part yo

idk

Chapter 1: the decision

  

It's nights like these that make me feel almost normal. It's a cold Friday, the air is dark and cool but the Patrol building we're sat inside is warm and lit by candles. I sit on the couch and fiddle with the first aid patch on my blue fleece. Don't do that Cadet Emily! It's going to fall off The general would say if she saw me right now. Then again, she'd be mad if she saw any of this. But it's her fault, she put the five of us on first aid duty at the same time. Let alone while she isn't here to supervise. 

"I have a very important meeting regarding renovations on The Haven tonight, I expect you all to be responsible Cadets while I'm gone," she said," do not respond to any calls that are outside and no playing around. I will see you all at 1am." For someone so smart, she was pretty dumb to trust five teenagers to keep their word. As soon as we were sure she was gone, we turned to building into our own little haven. Brandon snuck in a music player and Lexi and I had pawned some junk food for our extra shoes earlier that day. One pair of shoes, a small price to pay for a taste of normality.

The air outside was cold an empty, not to mention the unseasonable darkness. All the more reason to relax, the likeliness of anyone leaving their apartments was slim. Not to mention the lack of Zombies since the cold seems to be their worst enemy. No zombies, everyone inside, the odds of a first aid call were tiny.

 I closed my eyes and took this opportunity to pretend i wasnt livining a zombie apocalypse. Pretend I was a normal teenage girl, with normal friends. Friends who aren't  training for survivial, nor on patrol at First Aid. The five of us, in my mind, live in a big city with hundreds of other people. Life is simple and carefree, there's TV and radio and we aren't constantly fighting for our lives. 

Eventually I have to open my eyes and face the reality of everything. Zombies have taken over the world. Six or seven safe Haven around the world are all that remains of the human race. Me and my four friends reside in a haven located in what used to be known as Miami. We call this place The Haven, but it's more of a hell then anything else. It's a large round building with high gray walls lined with barbed wire. Inside these protective walls are four quadrants: living, schooling, safety and essentials. The living quadrant is simply rows of apartment like shelters for the survivors to sleep. Each one houses about 5 people and only contains bedrooms and a "kitchen", which is more of a giant gray room with a stove and a large wooden table. Not really much of home, but we're constantly reminded we have simply what we need to survive, nothing more and nothing less. The schooling quadrant is the smallest, and only contains one building. It's gray steel with one window and a large wooden door. Children learn to shoot a gun, fight a zombie, pretty much anything they need to survive in this new society. The largest one, and where we currently are, is the safety quadrant. It contains the hospital, first aid building and army head quarters. Army head quarters is just a giant black patrol house with guns and war plans. We're never allowed in or allowed to know what goes on inside.  The hospital isn't much, just a white building with one doctor and nurse. Its more for recovery or petty sicknesses then anything else. Most of the saving is done with us, in first aid. 

The idea if first aid is to train young adults to save lives and be responsible. It's all teenagers, and patrol times last one week. We sit and wait for calls of people attacked and try to save them. I don't know how many people we actually save, but it's nice to get out of the bleak homes we reluctantly live in.  The building is a large gray dome with a safe-like metal door. The walls inside are lined with an off-white fabric and pictures if ambulances are scattered throughout. There's a mahogany desk hiding in the back of the dome, it's where General Tamm works, she's in charge of the whole program. The only other things in the building are a few couches and medical tools. It's a rather unexciting place when General is around.

The final quadrant and the most tedious is essentials. This is where the crops are grown, power sources are located, clothes can be found, ect. All it is a hub for what you need in order to live. Only what you need to live. I find myself resenting that mindset, living life with only what you need doesn't feel like much of a life at all to me.

I guess no of think it's much of a life, hence why we sneak music and unhealthy food. Both are supossively distractions and ruin our chances at survival. This statement to me, is utter bullshit. My friends would agree. Phil, Lexi, Tanner and Brandon (aka Kinal) are my friends by definition, but much more then that to me. The five of us are what's left of New Jersey. None of us knew eachother until we each found the Haven and were sentenced to live together. In my eyes, it's the only thing that keeps my hope alive. Even after finding The Haven when I was 12, I didn't want to live. I figured there was no point in trying to stay alive when I had no one. But then, I met my roommates, four other new 12 year olds lost and destroyed. Suddenly, life seemed worth living again. 

Especially after Phil had asked to be his girlfriend when we were 15. I was in awe, and we've been together since. I had never thought myself to be particularly pretty before that moment, now more so then ever living with Lexi. Lexi had long black curls and piercingly bright green eyes. Her skin was olive and tanned. She measures  in at a lanky 5'5 but there is something delicate about her awkward sature, very girlish. Not to mention her tiny waste but perfectly rounded hips, she was perfection in my eyes. I always felt like I came up short when she was around, both literally and figuratively. I am a mere 5 foot with pin straight strawberry blonde hair that reaches to about my butt. My eyes are small and hazel, my skin is a painfully fair apricot. It came as a shock someone like Phil could love someone as plain as me.

At first I was skeptical about falling in love during such a time, but then I realized might as well enjoy being alive while I can. 

I sit up from the couch and turn to Brandon, who's sitting in front of the music player swaying, "Kinal! Turn it up! I love this band so much!" He jerks his head in my direction and smirks, classic Kinal, always smirking. The music grows louder and I begin to sing along. 

"Ew no. Turn this bullshit down. Blink 182 is dumb Em. All pop punk crap is," Tanner walks over from playing with the medical tools and changed the song, "God Brandon I don't know how you two can like that stuff." Kinal just looks at his best friend and shrugs, chuckling. Brandon and Tanner came here together. 

The two were the only ones in the group who knew eachother prior. They'd been friends since they were two, and not even the apocalypse could change that. I always found their friendship perplexing, polar opposites somehow fit perfectly together. Brandon was rather quiet and more logical, he liked to just think and kept a rather low profile. He was about 6 foot and had stunning brown eyes along with light brown waves lining his long thin face. Tanner on the other hand was loud and aggressive.  He was hands on about everything and always ready I fight. Tanner stands at a short 5'9 with long blonde hair that swooped to the left across his forehead and big gray-blue eyes. Watching them stand next to eachother was always hilarious to me.

"Pop punk is just a bunch of stupid angry a******s," Phil reenters the room after leaving for a smoke. I hated that he smoked more then anything else, but he claims it's his only stress relief. I try to pretend he doesn't do it, but it's hard when almost anytime we kiss he tastes like a sidewalk and smoke.

"I like it, especially Blink. Tom Delonge just... speaks to me," my voices fades as Phil sits next to me on the couch. I stare deep into his eyes and smile, but his eyes wonder to Lexi as she returns from her smoke. My hand grabs Phil's in a feeble attempt to get his attention. Instead, he lays his head in my lap and closes his eyes. I sigh, and Kinal hears. He looks at me, perplexed. His eyes squint in that "you okay?" fashion. I just nod, push my head back and close my eyes too. They refuse to stay closed, so I mess around with my loose patch again.

You love Phil, it's just getting a bit rough now I keep having to tell myself. We aren't what we used to be. Our relationship is distant, boring and painfully unfulfilling. Him and Lexi have become close latley, I beg her to tell me what's going on with him, how he's feeling. She swears he's fine and I'm just being silly, but her lack of eye contact makes it's all to obvious she's lying. And his lack of affection shows there must be something neither of them are telling me. Now laying here with him in my lap, I can't help but think about this over and over. I run two of my fingers through his short black hair, hoping he'll open his deep green eyes and kiss me. Hoping he'll embrace me and re assure me nothing is wrong. But truthfully, I can't remember the last time we were even alone together.

This night was not what I thought it would be. I was over the moon about having this place to ourselves, and we had done nothing. Just eat and listen to the music we barley got to enjoy. "What is happening to us? I feel like we've given into everything we hate. General isn't here yet we're doing what we'd do if she was!" I push Phil off me and stand up in the middle of the room. Everyone just stares, except Kinal. His long frame strides towards me, nodding in agreement.

"Emily is right," Kinal's voice is smooth and rather high for someone so tall. Yet, it's still someone deep and soothing. He doesn't talk often, but when he does I find myself savoring every word. I smile at him but then he walks past me. His long thin legs are heading to the call station. He presses the red button and turns the dial. "Lets listen for an outside call. Save someone, maybe even get out of here for once. After all it is our last day on patrol. I'm sur as hell not afraid of the general. Are you guys?"

Everyone just looked at eachother, then back at Kinal. He was so right, we never let that b***h run our lives and shouldn't start now. We all pause and listen closely for some sign that someone needs help. After about ten agonizing minutes a long deep frequency comes through the system. Tanner and Brandon nod at one another from across the room and gather the medical supplies. I grab Lexi and walk outside to the ambulance to set up the machines. We climb into the back of the truck and await the supplies from the boys. Phil searches in General's desk for the keys, he's the only one of us General taught to drive.

The two boys begin to load the supplies into the back of truck, "Im all for f**k the General, but are you guys sure this is a good idea? Maybe we shouldn't go, there could be more zombies then we can handle..." Tanner stares intently into me and Lexi's  eyes as we take the last of the supplies from them. Lexi hesitates and her body tenses. She swallows and her eyes fill with worry. Phil walks out and leans against the truck, waiting for us to leave the back and get into seats so we can leave. Brandon lends out his hand to her, to help her out of the ambulance.

"Trust me. Tanner and Lexi. I promise we'll be okay. I know Em does," he turns and meets my eyes, smirking again. I just laugh and nod, jumping out of the back of the truck. Once the doors are secured, we all pile into the truck hoping no one wi notice our lack of supervision. I usually sit shotgun next to Phil, but Lexi had rushed ahead of me and stolen my spot. I did my best to hold in my frustration at this. You've been together for three years, I think, it's fine. She just gets him, that's all. Nothing more. 

I pile into the truck inbetween Tanner and Kinal. Sometimes I forget how attractive Brandon is, his eyes are like small pools of chocolate and his face looks like it was carved out by a god in perfect detail. Even his skin, so light it's almost flawless. I realized in that moment I was staring at him, so I fixed my eyes on the window just behind him, and pretended I had been looking out is the whole time. But Kinal had felt my eyes on him, he knew I had been staring. The fact that he didn't say anything about it confused me, did he like it or was it just him being quite old Kinal? 

My thoughts were interruptted by the loud purr of the engine; Phil backed the truck out and we were off. My heart was racing and I wasn't sure if it was from excitement, or nervousness. I knew nothing bad cold happen, or atleast hoped nothing would. The truck drove sluggishly through the dirt road leaving the Safetey quadrant and heading toward the towering wooden door that would lead us out. Phil drive slow in order to be inconspicuous but in reality an ambulance should be going much faster then this, someone was in trouble after all. Supervision or not, we all knew that once arriving at the gate we had to move quickly to show we had some purpose, or risk being checked out. "Floor it," whispers Lexi into Phil's ear. I look down and notice she's grabbing his hand that isn't on the wheel. There intertwined hands are laying behind the armrest, well hidden but not hidden enough. Out of rage and slight bitterness I grab Kinal's hand, and now our hands rest in his lap. At first he's stiff and frozen, unable to find a proper reaction. As the car speeds up he relaxes and he begins to run the palm of my hand with his thumb. I lay my head gently on his shoulder, feeling his warmth run through my body. For the first time in a long, I felt safe. All of my fear melted. Nothing bad was going to happen, this is exactly what we all need.

Under Lexi's command, Phil had sped up the car immensely. We were whirling towards the door, the truck engine huffing loud and mighty. The red headed man sitting in the gate keepers box looked up from his reading with wide eyes. He stood and scrambled to open the gate for the ambulance hurling in his direction. This is going to work! Holy f**k we're going to pull this off! The gate doors creak open, the wood dragging against the dirt. Phil pushed the truck harder as the five of us drive through the door onto the outside. A loud slam accompanied the oversized rectangle closing us out. We all began to laugh, all in awe. None of us thought we could get away with it, get even near the exit let alone out of it. Now, to actually save whom ever was in trouble. I had almost forgot why we left in the first place, but as the machine flicked on I was reminded we were here to help someone survive.

"I haven't been out unsupervised since... Hell since I showed up here," Tanner crocked out, and the giggles of freedom quickly changed to nervous laughter. And then silence. Not even one of us had been out without a high ranking officer since we were 12, struggling to find shelter. It sure as hell isn't a time I like to remember, and judging by the silence everyone felt the same. The tension caused a slowing of the truck almost as if it was making it hard for Phil to drive at the thought. Every zombie we were forced to kill, the weeks without food, having to deal with the lose of your family, and all while being just a child. I instinctively buried my head deeper into Kinal's chest, forcing my eyes shut. He placed he's head on mine lightly.

"It's okay," he whispered. His voice was a lullaby, extinguishing my awful thoughts,"don't think about it. We're safe now." Tanners arms wrapped around my back, I forgot he was there. I forgot anyone was here, lost inside Kinal.

"Group hug!" Tanner bursted, trying to create some comic relief in all this. I just giggled and turned to him. 

I grabbed his face on his cheeks, "Are you ready to go f*****g save someone?" He nodded back at me. His smile stretched from ear to ear, "Good. Now come back with me." I clenched Tanner's hand and climbed into the back of the truck with him. We each suited up into protective plastic scrubs and checked to make sure all machines were on. Then, all we could do was sit and wait for us to arrive. 

                           🐾🐾🐾

The ambulance came to a wrenching halt in front of two heavly bleeding men. Twins, it was apparent at first glance. Lexi and Brandon grabbed bite protective pads from under the seats and strapped them on. They nodded at one another and opened the ambulance door to grab the twins. As they headed out, Tanner and I flung open the truck doors and awaited the loading of the men. The air was cold and quiet, no signs of zombies but anything is possible. I stood silent listening closely for any signs the waking dead were lurking around. Nothing.

But then a shriek from Lexi. And suddenly undead moans were all I heard.

Chapter 2: the incident 

At first, Tanner and I stood motionless, neither of us knew what to do. Lexi's shrieks grew louder with the ear shuddering moans. I tugged the the shotgun from off the truck walls and darted out into the cold night. This didn't make any sense. There were atleast ten undead corpses lurching towards the two of them. It was cold, barley one Zombie can move in this weather let alone a pack of ten! Lexi and Brandon clung to the side of the truck, encased be the undead. Two male zombies devoured the twins we were sent to save, their groans of fulfillment mixed with the sounds of tearing flesh. The putrid smell and gray skin, the holes in their bodies and perturbing bones, everything about zombies was revolting.

I cocked the gun and obliterated the head of one just inches from Lexi. She was shaking, completely panicked expecting this to be the end of her life. I take out another, my bullet grazes her panicking cheek. This isn't going to work, she needs to gun. She has to shoot them or you risk hitting her. I toss my gun past the zombies and it falls just at her feet. She releases a great sigh and stands up, still leaning nervously on the Ambulance. Loud uneasy shots fire through the faces of the corpses, my eyes fix on Kinal. He's finds a hole in the horde and presses him and Lexi under it with sly agility. Now they've cornered the horde up to the truck, we have the upper hand. Dead silhouettes begin to turn as Lexi fires into their skulls, blasting bits of bone and black rotted flesh across the ambulance's side. The two inch towards me, moving in the direction of the truck's back. I make eye contact with Kinal and nod. His piercing stare lets me know he understands the plan. All we had to do was make a run for the back, get in and drive away. Get back to the building and forget it ever happened and never leave without General ever again.  

We're inches away from grabbing Tanner's hand and being pulled into the truck when a limp hand falls onto my shoulder. I turn and face a women, with only half a face and completely unfleshed fingers. She lunges at me, shoving her face to my shoulder. Kinal grabs her by the neck, or what's left a neck, and chucks he across the dirt. Her remaining flesh skids across the dirt and her neck bends crocked to the left. She's injured, staggering to get up but still moving. I reluctantly turn revealing a whole nother hoard awaiting our brains, this one twice as big as the last. 

Sirens begin to blast towards us, coming from the direction of The Haven. It's a bomb squad, created to take out large hoards within range of our sheltered safe place. A red tank rages ahead blasting nosies, warning that they are about to extinguish the threat. I am relieved and prepare to step into the ambulance, my fingers graze Tanner's, but Kinal pulls me away. He drags me away from both the ambulance and clan of zombies, into a nearby bush where w HA excuted the first ten. I watch Lexi hop into the back of the truck and slam the doors behind her.

"WHAT THE F**K? What are you doing? We have to go with them! Now!" I shout squirming to get out of Kinal's death grip. He is on top of me, pressing my arms into the dirt and keeping me low to the ground.

"You have to trust me," his voice was panicked and shaky, " me and you we gotta run right now. We have to go!" He stands up off me but keeps a tight lock on my hand. His long thin legs stride quickly away from the truck, and in the complete opposite direction of The Haven. I know it's wrong, and Im not exactly sure where he's taking me, yet I run by his side, darting away from our friends, our home. We run deep into a decaying Forrest, barren trees and mossy stumps are all that surround us. I can hear Kinal panting as he keeps his pace, though it's muffled under the still piercing sound of the sirens. 

We run for about five straight minutes when a blinding light forms behind us. Fire engulfs the clearing we were just in, and it hits me. The squad didn't see the ambulance. They simply dropped a bomb on the horde. The sirens faded but the flames grew. Kinal had saved our lives. Kinal had left our friends to burn with the corpses threatening their lives. I paused and fell to my knees watching the flames surge through and blow bits of the truck in the air. I shoved my hands onto to my face and began to ball. My friends, my life, the closest thing I had to a family was now gone. Burn to a crisp and forever to be ashes with lifeless pieces of s**t. 

"They didn't deserve that. Why? Why couldn't you just f*****g leave me to die and save them?" I wasn't sure if Kinal could understand a word I said since my words were so chocked up but I didn't care. I lost Phil, the only person I could ever honesty say I loved and it was his fault.

"I loved them more then you'll ever know. I could have saved us all I would but I could only grab you in time. You can grieve later, we have to move. Or risk those fuckers finding us," Kinal sternly replied. He swayed to me and pulled me up by my arm, turning me to face him. He took hi other hand and whiped the tears and dirt off my cheeks. Then, turned and walked on through the woods. "Shelter. That's what we need." I trailed behind. Stay strong. I told myself.

"Brandon, don't you dare take this the wrong way..." I appear to him from behind the couch. He slowly sits up, shirtless and groggy. He must have been asleep, I shouldn't have woken him. This was a bad I tell myself. But watching him pull his fiber through his wavy brown hair I can't help myself, "if any damn zombies came... And we were in different rooms... It'd be hard to fight them... See it'd be safer maybe if you...". Piece the words together you fumbling idiot! 

"Are you asking me to sleep in the room with you?" His voice fills with a glimmer of hope as he rises from the old green loves eat. Sometimes I forget how tall he really is, his torso was more evidently long and lean without a jacket to cover it. 

"For our safety! We have to get back and I'm just trying to make sure of that!" I can barley finish my sentence as Brandon sways towards me. I'm standing in the doorway to the room as he walks up to me. He looks down at me his face barley an inch from mine.

"So are you gonna let me threw.. Or have you changed your mind?" He grimmances and I chuckle turning and going back into the room. It isn't much at all. Just a king sized bed with coral sheets and a rotting closet that had only door. I hop back onto my side of the bed and lay down facing the ceiling. The bed stirs as Brandon slips his long frame under the covers. He lays on his side in the middle of the bed, facing me. I turn and shimmy to the edge curling my legs into my body protectively. My attempt to sleep was feeble no matter how hard I shut my eyes. No, Em don't. Stop what are you doing? This is wrong! Ignoring my own thoughts i face him, smiling. He's eyes are wide open and he's been watching since we layed down here. I inch my body into his, at first slow but then in one big motion I'm pressed into him. Brandon's chest is touching mine, our legs intertwine under the sheets. He stretches his lengthy arm around my body and pushed me in even further into his body. Every part of me is touching the corresponding part on him. His hand moves softly up from it's place on my hip to my cheek. Our lips gravitate into eachother. I feel his breath and the motion runs through me. My mouth is now just barley touching his and slowly moves in for more.

"Try to look in her eyes, the light is just right, even if she falls in love," I feel his lips speak every word onto mine. He didn't even need to speak those words of Blink 182, he already had me. 

We kissed. At first, slowly and passionately. But then Brandon pressed himself on top of me, slipping his tounge into my mouth to find mine. His hands caressed my body a they pulled my shirt off and tossed it out if sight. My hands were working under us to undo Brandon's belt and slip away his rough combat jeans. My entire body was tingling, it was a connection I had with no other person. It was as if our bodies fit perfectly together, and the less clothes we had the better we went together. It seemed to be happening so fast. One mintue his hands were rubbing my entire body as I lied under him. Now, I was on top of him, completely naked kissing his neck while he rubbed my a*s and moaned slightly. Completely vulnerable to him with his body just the same, something just felt so right. Finally,

Something in my life made sense. He took his hands off my body and Ran them through my hair. I stopped and looked up at him, and did the same to his lucious waves. Our noses touched as we just stared into eachothers eyes. I was becoming lost in his chocolate pools of eyes, so dark but inviting. We both breathed heavily from lust. Brandon shut us eyes and flipped me under him again and hovered his body over mine.

Opening his again he moved his mouth to my ear. "Do you trust me?" He whispered sending chills through my body. I wanted him so bad. Needed him to fill me, to be inside me.

I pulled his face to look at mine again and rubbing his cheek spoke, "Always Brandon," I chocked out. It was hard to speak when all to do was kiss him. My body was shaking from it's need to have him. Slowly Brandon pressed his lips into mine, then he rested his forehead on mine, maintaining full eye contact. In that moment, I felt the tip of him enter me. 

The front door came crashing down with a loud thump. We could hear the wood shatter as the rotting pieces hit the ground. I shoved Brandon off me and through myself out I bed. I staggered up and searched the room gathering my clothes. I tossed Brandon his pants and we both abruptly dressed. Zombies, f**k. This is it. 

Next chapter

"Guns. Find guns!" I sternly ordered and I searched the closet. Nothing."We're gonna have to search out there Kinal. Hurry." Brandon nodded and reluctantly prepared to open the door. I could tell he was hurt when I called him Kinal, especially after having just finally calling him Brandon to his face. I wasn't meaning to hurt him, I was just panicking. I didn't want to lose him. I needed him to live so I needed to be serious. I marched behind him and awaited him opening the door. His back was completely towards me, distant and cold. I needed some way to show him I meant what I said. My hand slowly slipped into his from behind. I felt his boy relax and I knew he was smirking even if I couldn't see it. Brandon threw the door open, but neither of us were prepared to see what we saw. 

Tanner stood in the doorway, his body turned and gun in hand. "Guys! F**k we finally found you!" Tanner turned to face us. We hadn't seen him since the incident. Brandon cringed at the sight of Tanner. His entire left side was harshly burned. He was scared and shriveled and his left eye was just a white cloud. Piece of his bone were easily visible through his grafts, but it's common in burn victims today. Brandon was standing behind me, hugging me with his body completely tense from the state of his best friend. 

"We?" I looked at Tanner puzzled since he was the only one in the house. I assumed he came to find us alone, they must have sent him with a search party of soldiers. It isn't safe to leave alone, especially not in Tanner's current state. 

"Phil and Lexi are standing guard in the rescue car! We came to find you guys. After what happened, the General wanted to send a soldier search party but we convinced him we'd be best for the job. I'm so relieved to see you both. We've been looking for four days, Lex swore you guys were dead and Phil was losing hope. But I convinced them... told them I knew you were okay!" There was a hint of resentment in Tanner's voice, but I couldn't blame him. Look what happened to him as a result of what his best friend convinced him to do. I squirmed away from Brandon, he released me reluctantly and I ran to hug Tanner. He wrapped his burned arm around me since the other held his gun. Brandon stood there, motionless; a cold stare stretched across his face. 

"Wait... Phil is with you?" My happiness escaped me and I realized why Brandon hadn't moved. Phil, the boy I claimed to love was waiting outside. 

"Hell yes! He'll be so happy to see you  Em... I know I am! And you Kinz, I missed my best bro," I released Tanner but him and Brandon still kept a distance. 

"Yeah," Brandon whispered, avoiding eye contact with Tanner. I couldn't believe my eyes, the two best friends I had ever known, now torn apart. Brandon tried hard to hide his heart break, but it was in the air. He knows he lost Tanner, and once we leave this house he'll lose me.  Tanner turns and heads out of the house, silent. I look back at Brandon who's staring me down, sadness deep within his eyes. I know he's waiting for me to say we can still be together, but I can't get myself to. He walks to me to hold my hand and walk out. I push him away, unable to look him in the eye as I sulk out of the decrepit home.

Sitting there in topless a red Jeep Wranger is Phil, Lexi and Tanner. Tanner, sitting in the back, gestures for us to come in. I see Phil turn his head and light up. His face beams with a smile at the sight of me. Unlike Tanner he hadn't changed much. As he waves to me from the driver seat, I spot a few minor burns on his hand a couple on his neck but that seems to all. Lexi climbed into the back with Tanner as I approached the car. Most of hair long black hair had been singed off and was now a short black poof. Her entire left arm was scared from burns, but otherwise she seemed okay. I placed my hand on the car door when Brandon appeared next to me. His hand was on the back door and he was staring me down. He looked ready to cry. Don't do this, run away with me said his sad depleting eyes. I grabbed his shoulder and shook my head. Shrugging his shoulder Brandon shoved into the car. 

Phil banged on the car window to get my attention. I had been standing there silently staring into space. Don't get back in that car. You know you don't want you. Take Brandon and run! These thoughts raced through my head. I fought them and slowly brought my body into the car.

I was bombarded by Phil with an overwhelming embrace. He squeezed me hard, grabbing my face and kissing my cheeks, and then my lips. Never had a felt such nothingness from Phil before. The kiss sparked nothing inside me except a longing for Brandon touch instead. I could believe it, whenever Phil would kiss me before I would melt. I loved him, or atleast I used to. It was apparent he still loved me.