Twenty Four

Last chapter.

Five years later, I was walking down the brick road in my college town. I had applied to a few schools, but there was really only one I wanted to attend. Luckily, I was accepted. 

For the past four years, I’d been studying philosophy at the University of Chicago. It was kind of a big school in the middle of Chicago. Yet, wherever you looked you could see trees. Sometimes I even forgot it was in the city. The campus reminded me of a kingdom with medieval castles. Some of the buildings were built in a similar way to castles back then. It made me feel at home. 

My mental health had been a lot better then it was in high school. I’d kissed a few guys since Gideon, trying to move on. But it didn’t feel right. Nothing felt the same. A part of me wondered if I’d ever be able to experience the same love I had with him. Although I wasn’t as sad about Gideon’s death anymore. Instead, I was happy that I’d known him and that he’d helped me realize who I am. I wish I could thank him.  

I began walking toward the dorms. As a senior in college, I was given the opportunity to live off campus. But I decided against it so I could be close to the library. I had just finished class for the day and was now heading to grab some dinner. It’d probably just be ramen though. That’s usually what I ate. 

Cool air hit me in the face as I opened the door to my building. I started walking up the stairs to my dorm on the second floor, but stopped. There was a week left until summer break and I was finishing up finals. Maybe there would be mail for me, whether it’s my test scores or from my parents. I decided to check just in case. I walked into the mail room. 

The mail room looked just like a post office, with mail slots and package compartments scattered along the walls. I walked towards my mail slot which coordinated with my dorm number; 57B. I turned the key in the lock and opened the small door, where I found envelopes lying inside. I took them in my hand and locked the door.  

As I walked back up to my dorm, I skimmed the names on the fronts of the envelopes. There were three for my roommate, Peter, and two for me. When I got to my dorm, I unlocked the door to find Peter and his girlfriend making out. 

“Oh, come on!” I rolled my eyes. 

“What have I told you guys about putting a sign on the door?” 

Peter laughed. “Sorry, dude.” 

“You got some mail,” I said, throwing the envelopes at his bed. 

He flinched when they hit him, but then picked them up and started tearing them open. 

“Babe!” his girlfriend groaned. “Can’t that wait?” I hadn’t bothered to learn his new girlfriend’s name. It seemed like Peter had a new one every month. 

Peter shrugged. “You heard the man. No monkey business when he’s around.” 

“Then let’s go to my dorm,” she insisted. 

Peter hesitated. “Is that fine, Riley?” he asked me. “I know you just got home.” 

I waved my hand toward the door. “Please. I want to take a nap anyway.” 

Peter threw the envelopes back down onto his bed as he and his girlfriend excitedly stood up. 

“Catch ya later,” he said, closing the door behind him. 

I rolled my eyes. Peter was a nice guy. I’d been roommates with him for the past two years. We didn’t have a lot in common, but you know what they say. Opposites attract. We got along pretty well last year, so we just decided to room up again this year. He was a nice guy, but sometimes he got on my nerves. 

 I crawled onto my bed and lied down, sinking into the mattress. With the edge of my fingernail, I carefully tore the seal of the first envelope. Inside were my final test scores from last week. I had done good! This was a relief. The older I got, the harder the finals were. Only three more finals to get scores back from. 

I placed the papers on my desk next to my bed and looked at the second envelope. This one was weird. There was no return address. The only thing written on the front of the envelope was the address to my dorm room’s mail slot. I carefully opened the envelope. 

When I took out the letter, I paused. The letter was written on a piece of lined notebook paper. Confused, I started reading the letter. The handwriting was sort of messy, but still legible. It was almost familiar.  

Hey Riley, it began. 

I don’t know where to start. It’s been a while. I’ve missed you. 

I had a heck of a time trying to find your address. Good job getting into college, by the way. Not that I ever doubted you. What are you majoring in? You know what, we can talk about that later.  

The more I read, the more I started over from the beginning. It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand the letter. I could read it fine.  

I’m sorry for everything. 

If you aren’t completely freaked out and traumatized, I’d like to meet with you. 

Maybe... where we first met? 

By now, I had probably reread the letter sixty times. Who was this from? And what did they mean, “...if you’re not traumatized?” 

If you’re up for it, meet me next week at the bookstore on Maple Street by your old neighborhood. 

I’ll explain everything. 

By now, my mind had added everything up and was making assumptions. But it couldn’t be true. It was just wishful thinking. At least that’s what I thought, until I finished reading the letter. 

Please.  

-Gideon 

I could barely breathe. I felt like I was choking. Like I was going to suffocate and die right then and there. 

I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I didn’t know if it was someone playing some sick joke on me or... or what. I reached for the chain around my neck. Gideon’s. I’d been wearing his necklace since junior year. This had to be a joke. 

I decided to forget the letter and continue on with my life. 

 

 

~ 

 

 

Forgetting the letter was harder than I expected. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I was going grocery shopping, eating dinner, reading a good book, all I could think about was the letter. What if somehow it was real? What if Gideon was alive? ‘No,’ I thought. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. 

Nevertheless, as week went on, I began questioning whether or not I should go to the bookstore. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? I go there and no one shows up? I find that it was a prank? I could survive that. 

Eventually, I decided to take the letter’s advice and go stay with my parents early. It was only about thirty minutes away anyway.  

When I arrived in Arlington Heights the next week, nostalgia hit me like a brick. Driving by the old businesses and streets, I was reminded of my past. But I was happy I was back. Sure, I’d visited my parents a couple times, but it was mostly them visiting me in my dorm. I think they used it as an excuse to eat from the many buffets the campus offered.  

Eventually, I pulled into the bookstore parking lot. I didn’t get out right away. Instead, I stared into my retro land cruiser’s rearview mirror at the familiar sign that read, ‘BOOKS.’ It didn’t feel real. It almost felt illegal to be back here. Slowly, I climbed out of the car and shut the door, locking it behind me. 

As I approached the door, I took some deep breaths. I kept telling myself that this was no big deal. I was just walking in to see if there were any books to buy. Like a regular customer. No biggee.  

Finally, I opened the door and walked inside. The familiar scent of old books flooded my nostrils once again, and I began to relax. I passed the same old bookstore ladder, the book filled shelves... I walked over to the corridor where Gideon and I first met. And froze. 

I took another big breath.  

Then, I walked up the step and walked into the room where Gideon had been standing. Slowly, I brushed my fingertips along the spines of the old, dusty, books. I could almost feel Gideon’s presence inside the room. Then, I heard a voice. A familiar, sweet, comforting voice. Instantly, I knew who it was. I knew, yet I couldn’t bring myself to look up.  

“Riley?” the voice said. 

My heart started beating faster. Then, slowly, I looked over to my right. I began to make out a face as my blurry vision cleared. And suddenly, there he was. 

Gideon. 

I looked into his eyes. Those same, sky blue eyes. My eyes began watering. I had always been the strong one. I’d always been strong so I was there for Gideon when he needed me. But now he was the strong one. 

Now the sight of him made me weak. Now, I was the one that needed him. 

“That necklace looks good on you,” he said.