Thirteen

Bookstore halloween.

On Saturday, I dug through my box of clothes trying to find something to wear. I pulled out an old outfit that

I hadn’t worn in a while; a dark, burnt orange pull-over sweatshirt.  

It was my grandpa’s old sweatshirt from high school. He passed it down to my dad, and my dad did the same for me. You’d think the sweatshirt would be worn out and tattered. Except it wasn’t. It just smelled like old books, which I loved. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and pulled my arms through the sleeves.   

 

Finally, Gideon arrived to pick me up. “Hey, Riley,” he said. 

“Hey,” I replied. 

“I’m glad we’re doing this,” Gideon continued.  

I smiled.  

 

It started raining before we arrived at the bookstore, and by the time we pulled into the parking lot, it was pouring down. I jogged to get under the store’s awning. When I was safe from the rain, I turned around to see if Gideon was following me. But he wasn’t Gideon stood next to his Corvette with his arms open towards the sky like the Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil. 

“What are you doing??” I called out to him. 

“C’mon. It’s just rain!” he called back. 

“Cold rain.” He ignored me and continued gazing up at the sky, not fazed by the heavy, blinding raindrops. 

Finally, he jogged under the awning as well and shook his head to shake the rain out of his hair. 

“Alright,” he said, looking at me. “You ready?” 

Gideon’s short sleeve shirt was drenched with water, and it clung to his abs.  

I cleared my throat. “You’re soaked.” 

He smiled and shrugged. “Sometimes the only thing that can wash away your problems is rain,” he replied, and pulled the bookstore door open. 

What problems was Gideon talking about? I caught the door before it closed and walked in behind him. Just as it did when I first discovered the bookstore, the smell of books wafted through my nose. Just like the family heirloom sweatshirt I was wearing. 

Soft, classical music was playing over the speakers. Not quiet, but just loud enough that someone could appreciate the music while understanding whatever they were reading. 

I followed Gideon back into the bookshelf lined halls I’d first met him in. He walked down further than I’d walked before. As we walked, I asked, “So... does this bookstore have a name?” 

“I don’t think so,” Gideon replied. “If it does, no one knows it. We all just call it ‘the bookstore’.” 

I nodded, but he couldn’t see. I continued following Gideon up some spiral stairs. 

“Where are we going?” I asked him. 

“My favorite place to read. Or study.” 

The classical music faded as we walked farther upstairs. When we reached the second floor, Gideon walked further down some halls. There were so many hallways in many directions that you could get lost. Finally, Gideon led me to a small room. There was a window on the back wall, looking out onto the parking lot below.  

It was completely quiet in the room, except for the sound of the pouring rain. The rain hadn’t slowed down since we walked inside. If anything, it’d gotten worse. 

In front of the window was a small bench with a couple of brown throw pillows placed along the sides.  

“Wow,” I said. “How many floors are there?” I asked. 

“Three,” Gideon replied. “I can show you around later. It took me a couple years to completely known my way around the place.” 

We started peering at the bookshelves lining the walls of the small room. I grabbed a random book from the shelf, so I didn’t look awkward standing around, and opened the cover. To Kill a Mockingbird. A classic. One thing I loved about this bookstore is that they had old novels and poetry, not just teen chapter books written for girls in middle school.  

I brushed the dust from the pages and flipped through the book. I’d read this book last year in my English class. 

We watched the movie afterwards, but it was nothing compared to the novel. I’ve come to find that this is usually the case. Books are always better because they have more detail. You can understand every thought and feeling of the characters, while in movies, you can only understand their feelings from their facial expressions or tones of voices. 

I closed the book and slid it back into its slot. 

I continued scanning the shelf for a book. Then, I looked over at Gideon. He was doing the same, looking very entertained. I admired how much he seemed to love literature. I gazed at his features. His sharp jawline, thick eyebrows... His plump, parted lips. Gideon was handsome. I hadn’t admitted that to myself before. Suddenly, he looked back at me and smiled. I quickly looked away.

“Riley,” he said. 

“Yea?” I replied, looking back at him. 

“Kiss me.” 

I continued to look at him. Then slowly, I walked toward him.

I stepped closer so we were only inches apart from each other. 

Then nervously, I whispered, “You want me to kiss you?” I tried to deny my nervousness as I stared into his eyes and grinned. 

Suddenly, I pulled him close to me and pressed my lips against mine, and that familiar relaxation and warmth re-entered my body, as if I had been given a drug. 

This wasn’t like our first kiss. He kissed me slow at first, so we could feel exactly what each other's lips felt like. But then, he didn’t pull away. He started kissing me more eagerly. I started kissing him back. We pushed against each other like waves in the ocean. It felt mesmerizing.  

He pushed me back against a bookshelf and some of the books fell from the shelf, but we didn’t care. We started breathing heavier. I pushed against him with as much force as I could. All I wanted to do at that moment was kiss him, tasting the chilly rain on his tongue. His hands were still cold from the rain, so when he touched the side of my face, chills flew through my mind and body.  

Gideon abruptly pushed away from me, just enough so he could look me in my eyes, and without a second thought said, “I have feelings for you.”  

There. He said it. I was waiting for one of us to say it, because we both know we did. He said it matter-of-factly. I grinned. 

“Do you?” I whispered. 

He grinned and looked at his feet. Suddenly, Anna’s voice echoed throughout my mind. “...talk to him,” she had said. 

I exhaled. “Gideon.” 

“Yea?” he replied. 

I hesitated. But Mrs. Williams and her wife were right. I needed to communicate.  

“What are we?” 

“What are we?” he repeated, and I nodded.  

There was silence, and then, “Gay.” 

I grinned. “I think we could be something.”  

He grinned back at me. “We should.”

“Okay, then.” I grinned. Good.” 

 

 

~ 

 

 

When we arrived at school the next day, I walked upstairs to my locker. I unlocked it and got out my Algebra 2 textbook. Suddenly, Gideon walked up to me. 

“Hey!” he said.  

I smiled. Just then, Val excitedly walked up to us. 

“Hey guys!” she exclaimed. “Oh my gosh, you guys should’ve come to the haunted house. It was so fun!” Gideon smiled. Then, Val continued, “So... What did ya’ll do for Halloween?” 

“We... went to the bookstore.” I said, glancing at Gideon. 

Val rolled her eyes. “Booriingg.” Gideon smiled and looked down at the ground. 

After school, Gideon and I walked outside to his car.  

 

 

~ 

 

 

The weeks went by super-fast, and before I knew it, November was over. Although the weeks were flying by fast, the end of daylight savings time had messed everyone up. My sleep schedule was ruined and most of us were falling asleep in class. Even the teachers seemed to take it easy. The sky was filled with bright sun, but the air was laced with a bitter cold that warned us of winter’s forthcoming arrival.  

Gideon and I had been hanging out almost every day outside of school, walking together in between almost every class, and he’d even sneak a kiss every now and then. People had started realizing we had a thing for each other (it still felt odd to say I was in a relationship), because I often got asked the same question;  

“How are you and Gideon?” 

“We’re good,” I would reply. 

But I soon came to realize that they were wondering how Gideon and I were doing as a couple, and not how we were feeling as separate individuals. 

 

The days came and went, and the weather got even colder. Eventually, life started feeling like a depressing montage. But then again, that’s just winter.  

When the last day of the semester arrived, I couldn’t wait to get out of the school.  

 

“Have a good Christmas break, class,” Ms. Williams uttered as the bell rang.  

The class rushed out the door, but I stayed at the back of the class with Gideon until the room was empty. 

We then started leaving the room.  

 

“Merry Christmas, guys,” Ms. Williams said. We smiled back at her. 

Hey, what are you doing over break?” Gideon asked as we made our way to the student parking lot.  

“I’m leaving tonight to visit my grandmother. Her Alzheimer's’ getting pretty bad, so... you know.” 

He frowned.  

I smiled and shoved my hand in his. “Don’t worry,” I encouraged. “I’ll only be gone four days. We’ll hang out as soon as I get back in town.”  

When we started approaching the cars, Gideon stopped in his tracks. I turned around, and he hugged me. His warmth was a comforting shield against the bitter, cold wind. I buried my cheeks, which felt like they’d been slapped by Jack Frost himself, into Gideon’s chest, and he wrapped his arms farther around me. 

After what felt like hours had passed, Gideon pulled away. 

 

“I’ll see you when you get back, okay?” he called, walking toward his car. 

I smiled and waved as I watched him walk away. I exhaled and saw my icy breath in the air. 

I started walking towards Nick’s car and when I opened the door, he seemed annoyed.  

 

“What took so long?” he asked.  

I shrugged. “I was saying goodbye to Gideon.” 

Nick loosened up and replied, “Ohh, your boyfriend.” I rolled my eyes but deep down, Nick’s remark made me happy.