Love's Turmoil

The love of one who is treacherous

one who has torn away your soul

is a love most harsh and deep

that seems never to be controlled.

 

To picture him as monstrous

as a demon with cherub disguise

brings more pain than ever before

bleeding this tender heart dry.

 

During the night dreams are haunting

with blissful scenes turned rotten

leaving a foul and poisonous stench

Never to be forgotten.

 

Forgetting is not an option

nor is the facade of evil

what will stop this withering love

from dying in such upheaval?

Author's Note

Does it need more length?

Reviews

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

yes love can feel like that! It's a pity human beings like drama mixed with their love, it often spoils it quite quickly.

[Tony]

You effectively present the repercussions of betrayal such as mistrust and anger and the cinquain stanzas made for a clear and organized poem. Nice write! Oh yes, you created a fine turn in the third stanza with the line "Never to be forgotten." Which makes the closing stanza work effectively-- so... the length worked just fine for me. Nice job!

Makosica

[x]

This is great and well penned.
The thing about love is that it is a two sided thing and if one isn't feeling it, then it isn't happening. I enjoyed how this write portrayed the withdrawal of love as a crime. That always leads to crimes of passion and many great movies and books are devoted to such situations. In this write I can almost see the dagger in the hand, so powerful writing..well done.

[An owl on the moon]

There was such a painful song playing through your words. Love twisted into darkness and despair. Powerful and profound. As to length, only the artist can tell when the last brush stroke strikes...