Elemental

This is a twist on "Second Chance"

"Feels as though you can't be tamed?"

"Saved."

"Oh?"

Every single thing 

Water, air, fire, earth

It's all that's keeping me here

Water is the sound of the waves crashing on a shore

Air is the quilt for my lungs

Fire is a mystery, though

Sometimes I feel like fire

the intensity of my mind

The feelings can grow, or diminish

down to a little flicker

Typically, it's a forest fire

destroying every good thing,

 earth, air, and water, all together

I'm no saint,

but fire is a heaven

"Hello? Snap out of it."

I'm brought back to the same moaning leather chair as I fall back

Snow drizzling in the window behind 

"Why can't you be saved?"

What I really want to say is hiding in a corner,

what I say instead is fabricated.

"Maybe I'm just having a stupid depressive episode."

"Again, it is not stupid to have a mental disorder, it means you are seeking help,

which is a very good thing."

The snow starts to scream to the cars, gravel, and buildings near

"Well then if it is a good thing, why is it so bad?"

"Things are only bad if you make them bad. All things can be helped."

Nope. Not me. Dead father. Druggy mother whom I've never met.

I think they can tell I don't believe them because of the sad smile

The clown makeup is back.

I attempt to do a smile and let the left side of my mouth go upward

"You know I know exactly how you think, right?"

Someone stuck a needle through and s**t, did I feel it.

"I-"

But this time it's too late. 

The words just flow right out of me.

"You really think just because you went to college for four years and know people's problems that makes you a magician?

Newsflash, nothing you say or do will ever help me. No amount of pills, no amount of therapy, and certainly not any measurable amount of positivity. You try and tell me to not kill myself when really the fire burned out a long f*****g time ago."

Silence fills the room

I hear the fly that was buzzing inside of the ceiling fan listening in.

There's no clown makeup. This new expression is a tattoo.

A deep breath finally lets go of the stillness 

"... My job, is to help people like you. For three years I've tried, and you're right. What do I know? The plus side is, I want nothing but to help people, and help people I will. "

These human beings can try as much as they want to save people like me, but it's never going to be proved as successful

We all end up dying anyways, so there really is no point

A loud alarm startles both of us

From the stern, confident shell, they speak as a mouse

"That is all the time we have for today."

The drabby gray coat drags behind them as I exit the opposite hallway

My car is the one thing waiting for me

I turn on the ignition and look using my back cameras

Ignition

Someone please start the fire again.

I head to a bridge down the road

The snow is really coming down now to my windshield

I can't see anything.

I don't know which way I'm going.

A small flicker escalates to a torch

Using my mirrors I recognize the road I'm on is the same one as the bridge

It's like I've been here before

I'm brought back

The earth now crisp, 

water evaporated

air stagnated

This second chance,

I'm burning from the inside out.