Scarlet

                        Apple
                       Cherry
                        Blood
                       This is the color I live in
                       The tiles like a dove.
                        
                        Apple
                         Cherry
                          Blood

                       Apple
                       This is the color of her cheeks in the bitter cold
                       Shiny, soft, nearly porcelain. Breakable. Fragile.
                       Cherry
                       This is the color of her with the tears down her face

                       Blood
                       Blood
                       Blood
                       Blood

                       This is the color of the floor when she's done with the place.
                                              

Author's Note

Possible trigger warning.

Reviews

[DiskartetHaraya]

An artistic approach to a heavy topic. Not too much backstory, enough dramatization, and has a simple short almost abecedarian-like creative start.

I like the choice of comparisons. First, in terms of the signified's sensory details. Second, in terms of the signifier's connotative sound.

When you wrote fragile, I thought of the way an apple crunches when you bite it. When you wrote cherry, I remembered the glossy watery surface of two circles.

In terms of sound, apple sounds rather neutral. Cherry sounds rather cute. (Think of puppy, lily, berry.) Blood sounds like bad news. (Think of flood, mud, or thud.) Together and in their sequence, they're like a miniature of the poem--starting as if simple, then entertaining the reader with a bit more details, then concluding with a heavy finish.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wild journey of words. You made the reader want to know and read more. The words had the feel of dangerous place and maybe person? Thank you Hannah for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[emipoemi]

Deep.......powerful.......wow! The four "blood" in a row at the end I think is a little too much. One - two max - would suffice to get the message across. But then again, because you have the previous repetition of Apple - Cherry - Blood, it would be make the poem all the more powerful, if you forgo the repetition of the three shades before their respective lines of description. Meaning, have it instead go: "Apple - Cherry - Blood - This is the colour of her cheeks..... This is the colour of her tears.... This is the colour of the floor....." (you don't quite need that extra line after "This is the colour of her cheeks in the bitter cold", for the image and message as a whole already make that vivid. You also, for the same reason, should have "This is the colour of her with her tears...." simply be "This is the colour of her tears.....". Much more powerful). Finally, I don't particularly understand the line "tiles like a dove", however, if you're able to explain that to yourself in your own words, then it's fine as is. Just some suggestions to consider. You are not obligated to use any if the poem flows well to you. Well done overall!

[Riley]

Repetition is my way of showing significance, and "tiles like a dove" is referring to the pale white of the tiles before the blood is shed beneath them. Thank you for your feedback, it is much appreciated (:

[emipoemi]

I know, but there is such thing as too much repetition. Those were simply suggestions for adding power to the poem....as well as sense, for the way you have worded the first stanza, we as readers do not get the same message that the tiles are white like a dove, for you say in the previous line that those shades of read are what you live in. So there needs to be something that really paints the picture to add that the red is something more than the colour you live in....it's the colour that stains your white and "pure" world.

[Wonderland Asylum]

Awesome! I was able to visualize the apple red of a girls cheeks, and the cherry color of when a girl is crying. Also I can visualize a floor covered in blood.