Chapter 1

      “I couldn’t believe I had gum on my shoe. Out of all the days in a year, I had to have gum on my shoe today.” I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes and looked up at the sky. The air felt so good on my skin as the wind would blow. Its not like I wasn’t happy about today. I was happy but it was weird too. I never thought in my whole life that today was going to be the day that starts my whole life. I was going to live with my mom for the first time that I can remember. The last time I lived with her, was when I was 2 months old. Not like I’m going to remember anything.
       It felt as if the morning was a big fat blur. I can remember getting in my Dad’s truck. And I can remember him singing to songs that come on the radio. And him saying things to me, I just can’t remember words he was saying to me. I felt sick. Knowing me if I was going to talk to him I was going to get sick all over his truck. This was my Dad’s truck, it was his baby. Getting sick in this truck would be the end of the world for him. It was a 3 hr ride, and most of the time I couldn’t remember Dad being in the truck with me. It felt as if I was in the truck alone. I had so much on my mind I couldn’t stop thinking. When we got on to my Mom’s street that’s when I started to get really sick. Dad just looked at me and gave me a little smile.
      “You think you’re going to be okay here with your “mother”? My Dad said with this upset look on his face.
       My dad is one of those guys that people look at and are scared of. He’s big like a bikers and he only wears black. I get my hair colour from him. It’s a nice brown that kind of looks like red in the sun if it hits it just right. When I look at my Dad I see this little kid in a big man’s body. He was always more of a brother to me then a Dad. I never really looked up to him much. He was always just there, this person I lived with.
      “Dad I’m going to be fine, if I need you I will call you okay?” Hoping he would just let me go because the faster I get to her house the faster I would leave.
       “You call me everyday okay kido?”
      “Every 2 days Dad.” Rolling my eyes at him. Hoping he wouldn’t see it.
      “Fine, every 2 days” he said as he kissed my hair. “Have fun.” Stopping for just a min. “If you can.” I gave him a little hug and jumped out of the truck. I grabbed my bags and walked towards the apartment. As I walked up to the apartment my Dad was already gone down the street. Before I got to the door I saw this very thin, sad looking boy across the street. It looked like he hadn’t had any food in months. He looked at me with this face that just made me want to be close to him and to get to know him better. It felt like when you saw someone get hurt in a movie you want to look away but you just can’t because you want to see what happens next? That’s what it felt like. After about a min of looking in to his eyes and looking up and down his face. I made myself look away and start walking inside to see my mom. Just as I went to open up the door to get to the apartment the door was already opened. I had even looked up from the ground tell I hear.
     “Is that my baby girl?” As she runs up and gives me a hug. “Wow have you got big Willow.”
     “I’m only 5’7 Mom. I’m not that big.” I hated calling her Mom. I mean she was never there when I lost my teddy bear or there on Christmas morning and she never got to see me open a birthday present. Calling her Mom was the last thing I wanted to call her.
“You might not be big to you but you have changed so much to me.” She stopped to look at me. It felt as if she was trying to take it all in. Me standing outside her apartment for the first time in a long time. “I’m just guessing but would you like to put your bags in your room?” No matter how much I hated her. I loved the way her eyes looked when she talked about me having my own room.
     “I have a room?” I was happy I had a room because I would have a place to just be alone if I didn’t want to be around her.
     “What did you think I was going to let you sleep with the cats?” As she smiled happily “You have the best room in the place, you can see the park across the street from your room.”
      “That’s great, thank you Mom.” I said, trying to sound happy I was going to be living with her. I guess having my own room make it more livable for a few months. I didn’t want to be sleeping on the floor.
      Her apartment was right at the top of the building, looking over the park. The apartment had 5 floors. Mom told me she loved living here because everyone that lived in the apartment was really sweet. When we got to in the apartment she showed me the whole apartment. There was only one bathroom, but it was a good size. There was a big room for the T.V and the table and everything else. And there were 2 rooms off that, one room being mine and the other room being my Moms. My room wasn’t big but it was perfect for a girl like me. By the time I got my bags unpacked it was time for dinner. You can tell I plan ahead, I have a small bag full of stuff I need to last me 2-3 days if things get bad here. I just grab that bag and I’m on my way out the door.
      Of course when we were eating I didn’t say anything. If you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t talk all together. Thats what I say. I was so pooped from the ride there and unpacking I didn’t really feel like talking. Not like I had much I wanted to talk about with her anyways. Here’s the thing about my Mom. When I was about 1 month old, my Mom found out she never really wanted me in the first place. So… when I was about 2 months old, she just packed up her stuff and left me with my Dad. I mean she cared about me but she just didn’t want to take care of me. I mean a birthday card and all that stuff. For 15 years it has just been me and my Dad.
     I never really like my Mom that much to start with. So you ask me “Why are you spending 2 months with your Mom?” Right after my Mom left my Dad. My Dad started to drink a lot. He never hurt me. He would just go out and leave me with my Grandmother and come back hrs later just drink as hell. It’s what I’ve been told anyways. About 3 years ago, my Dad was slowing down on drinking and he was at the bar with a few friends when he saw this “hot” girl. She had long nice legs and brown hair. Her eyes were a nice green colour and no matter how hard my Dad tried he couldn’t keep away from her. They started talking and the next thing I no he tells me there getting married. To fast if you tell me. I felt like my world was going to end that day. My Dad and Sarah together forever. Thinking about that still makes me sick. Not that I don’t like her. It’s just I don’t want to live with her forever. After there wedding they were planning on going to Victoria for there honeymoon. I couldn’t go because of school but no matter where they wanted me to stay I had to go to a different school for 2 months. When my Mom found out about the honeymoon she wanted me to stay with her for 2 months. So she could get to no me better. I never really wanted to but I didn’t have a say it.
     When I got back in my room after dinner I was looking down at the park. Again I saw that thin, sad looking boy looking at me and he just smiled and started walking in the park. He was wearing this black t-shirt that said “To the end” in red with blue pants that looked as if they didn’t fit him but looked good at the same time. I had this feeling like he wanted me to follow him. But what was I going to tell my mom if i felt the house. I don’t know this place that well. I got my shoes on and told Mom I was going to go and walk around to get to know the neighborhood better. She said great and not to be out to long. She gave me a key to the outside door and told me she would leave the door unlocked for me. She gave me a hug as I walked out the door. When I got outside I had no clue where he was. I just started walking in the park to see if I could just find him.
     I walked all the way to the other side of the park take me about an hr and no sign of him anywhere. It was like he wasn’t never there to start with. My feet were starting to get a little sore so I just fell down and sat on the grass. Then I hear this deep but very sweet voice