The Last Night

 

“I HATE YOU!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” I yelled pulling my hands to my face so he wouldn’t see the pain in my eyes. But I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He had to no he hurt me. He should no how much I care about him. I pulled back my hands no matter how wet my face was from all the tears. “How could you break my heart like that?” I said in a small voice trying really hard to look anywhere but at his eyes. I knew the moment I looked in his eyes he could tell me whatever he wanted to and I would believe it. He had that kind of power over me.

            “It’s not like I planned this. You’re the one that came home early.” He had some much anger in his face I was scared to move because I didn’t want him to do something to me. He gets in one of those moods where if anything moves he’ll go after it. Tonight I was happy the kids were out. I didn’t want them to see him like this. For sure I didn’t want them to see there Dad hit them. “Why are you early anyways?” He said.  It was like he was looking for something to be mad about so we would both have a reason to yell.

            “I got off work early and I just wanted to spend the night alone with you. You no how the kids aren’t going to be home all night. I just wanted to spend the night alone and have a good dinner and maybe spend a night without yelling.” I turned my body away from him. “Then I come home and what are you doing… your doing COKE!” I yelled it. I wanted everyone in the neighborhood to hear me. I wanted them to no we weren’t happy. Not together anymore. Then I felt something heat on my face. Something id been getting use to. He hit me. This time it didn’t just go away after his hand left my face. I guess I got him really pissed off for once. My hand flow to my face and my eyes got really big. Like I just watched something on tv I couldn’t believe.

            “Ohh come on not like you didn’t no that was coming.” He said. He put a little smile on his face that I guess he thought might make it better to no that he knew I was in the room still. “Every man should be doing what I am with you and the kids. Showing there wife’s who has the rights around the house and who should be cleaning and making me dinner.” I couldn’t believe he really believed what he was saying. But I was scared to say anything because I didn’t want to get him mad like I just did. “Where is my dinner anyways? And by the way it doesn’t matter if I do drugs in my house because it’s MY HOUSE!” he yelled at me. He pulled his hand up to hit me again but he stopped himself. “Look at you. Just holding your face like that. Why do I even stay with you anymore? I’m sure I could find a really hot girl to go out with me. The sex would probably be better too.” He started smiling because I guess he was really thinking about what sex would be like without me.

            “Why don’t you just leave?” I said to his back because he started walking away to go and get a beer from the bar in the other room. He stopped. He stopped and he slowly turned  to look at me.

            “What did you just say to me?” He said in this slow but scary voice.

            “I said leave. You’re not happy here. Me and the kids hate having you here. Go find a small little shiny girl to “love” you for a night.” I knew the moment the words left my mouth he was going to came after me. He was going to hit me like there was no tomorrow. He was going to make me paid for what I said to him. He run towards me. I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to see the hand hit me. If you see something coming at you and it hits you. It hurts more then not seeing it. But he didn’t hit me. He picked me up by my hair and walked me over to the bedroom. And pushed me on the bed.

            “You stay there. If you move even a little bit on the bed. Your a*s is mine.” He said and he walked out of the room closing the door behind him. It felt like he had been gone for hrs but in the real world he was only gone for 5 mins. I guess the reason it seemed so long was because a little part of me knew it was my last night in this world. He walked in the room.

            “I see you didn’t more. Good for you. We’re going to play a game tonight,” He said. He was holding his hands behind his back Not sure what he had in his hands but I was sure it wasn’t good. “Get up from the bed and take all your cloths off. Right now.” I knew if I didn’t do what he said he was going to do it for him and he was going to do it 10 times harder. So off all my cloths went. “Yeah now get on the bed and lye down and close your eyes.” I did as he said and I went on the bed and closed my eyes.

            “I hope heavens nice. I hope god loves me there. Think of your happy place. Think of your happy place. Being with the kids at a park on a really sunny day.” I thought to myself. Just thinking about being with the kids alone always made me smile and at this time I needed to think about the kids. And thinking about being with them alone I knew it would make me smile right now. Yes that was probably going to piss him off but why did it matter right now anyways? He was going to kill me. So I smiled. I smiled so big I couldn’t believe my mouth went that big on my small depressed face.

            “Why the f**k are you smiling? I’m pretty sure your not going to like this. F**k I wouldn’t even like this. But god I’m going to love doing it.” And as he said that the knife came down and it went right in to my heart. And just before I died all I can picture was my kids reading me stories on the bed.

            “Hope it was fun.” I said just before I was gone forever. Die to the world.