The Rain Feels Good.

I don’t even no how it started. How I got here. How I got to this place in my life. As I was running I could feel all the air going passed my long red hair and it felt like the air was taking everything away from me. All my problems, all my thoughts. Every feeling I’ve ever had for him.

            “STOP!!!” He said from across the street. He didn’t have a power over me anymore. I was free from him. He couldn’t tell me what to do anymore. It was over but at the same time I felt like if I was free like this I would break and I would run back to him with my heart in my hand ready for him to take it all back. ”Please… stop… for me” he said as he was running after me. I couldn’t stop. I had came so far and I wasn’t ready for him.

            I had to stop. My legs were hurting to much. But I didn’t want to stop because I would have to talk to him.

            “Thank God you stopped.” He said with so much happiness in his voice. I slowly turned to look at him. But I didn’t feel ready to look in to his eyes. As I turned I looked right at his nose. And looked at the way it made his face look so good. “We really need to talk. About you no... everything.” He said.

            “Why do we have to talk?” I said with a small little voice. I stopped looking at his nose and I started looking at the grass beside us. “Theres nothing left to say.”

            “What are you talking about? Your still mad at me. How can I let you be mad like this You just run out of your house just so you wouldn’t have to talk to me.” His voice went from being happy to sounding pretty unhappy.

            “That’s not why I run from my house. I didn’t run away from you because I didn’t want to talk.” I looked up at him and I looked in to his eyes. “You should no me better then that.” I could feel my eyes start to water.

            “I know. Sam I love you.” He said. But it was like every word that came out of his month was a lie because it just didn’t feel real to me anymore.

            “How can you even say that?” I couldn’t look at him anymore so I turned. I turned away not only from him and his good looking face, but from all the lies. “You never loved me. I was just one of your toys. Something you could just play with and throw away when you were done with me. I let you have my heart and all you did with it was play around with it and throw it down and danced on it.” I felt so good saying all of this to him. “I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!!!” I yelled at him. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore because I wanted him to no I was in pain over him. I did love him. I did everything for him and he just played me. I turned to see what his face looked like because I’ve never yelled at him before.

            “I do mean it.” He said as he was looking at his shoes.

            “DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME!!!!” I yelled. And I pushed him. I pushed him so hard I was hoping he would fall over in to the street and a car would drive by and kill him right in front of me and I would smile. I would smile so big people would think I was crazy. He did fall but not in to the street and it was the middle of the night, there was no cars away.

            “I guess you had a right to do that to me. You should do so much more to me. And you can have the chance because I’m not leaving you.” He got up from the grass and went to hold my hand. But I pulled away with this mad face. “I fucked up big time. And I no I did. I’ll do anything for you just tell me you don’t hate me.” I didn’t want to believe him.

            “I can’t believe you.” I said as I rolled my eyes at him. He didn’t have that power over me where he could tell me anything and I would believe him. “I won’t believe you. From now on… you were just a really bad thing I never should have be a part of.” For the first time in a long time I felt like I had a power over him and I was holding his heart in my head and I could break it or keep it together. “I can’t be with you anymore. Maybe one day soon we can be friends but I need my time. Away from you.” I started to walk away from him… but then I turned my head “I’ll call you when I’m ready. If you really care. Don’t be to far away from me.” And I walked away.

            It started to rain but I didn’t feel like walking back to my house. So… I walked all over the park and as it rained all over me and made me wet I felt like the rain, the water that was falling on me was my heart pieces coming back to me to make my heart hold again. And with that feeling I walked home and I left him in the passed from once. He was always going to be behind me from now on.