Passages in Time by Saberdragon Entertainment

The Doctor meets Jesus. No, I am not joking.

WARNING:  I do not own Doctor Who or its characters or…uh…the Bible and its characters…don’t know how one could own the Bible but both belong to their respective owners and the fanfiction itself does not belong to me either. It can be found at fanfiction.net distributed by its author.

Fanfic #6: Passages in Time by Saberdragon Entertainment

 

...You know what’s coming…do I need to say anything more?...Go ahead! Start the fanfiction!

 

The story begins with the TARDIS appearing in a shepherd’s field and the tenth doctor and Rose Tyler step out of the TARDIS. The TARDIS has taken them to Bethlehem during the year 5 A.D. They try to look for someone to talk to but everyone is gone. They are about to leave until they see a group of shepherds running down the street.

Oh-no…are you going to do what I THINK you are going to do?

The two follow the shepherds into a cave and they see what the shepherds were running to: a man and a woman with their baby in a manger.

I knew it…you do know that Jesus was born around 4 B.C. right? A.D. and B.C. are two different things.

As the shepherds begin to praise the baby, Rose introduces herself to Mary and Joseph. "’Where have I heard those names before?’ the Doctor wondered to himself.”

Seriously? You see a baby in a manger with a mom named Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem and you do not know who this is immediately? I know the Doctor isn’t a Christian but, COME ON. It’s only one of the LARGEST RELIGIONS ON THE PLANET EARTH.

The chapter ends with Joseph saying that they are going to call the baby Jesus and the Doctor exclaiming “Impossible!”

Get used to hearing that, my friends. The Doctor and Rose will be saying that A LOT. In fact…“Impossible” Count: 1

The two quickly leave and Rose begins to get angry with The Doctor: “’That was rather impolite you know.’ she said to him. ‘What's wrong with you?’ ‘Nothing at all.’ He told her sarcastically. ‘This is how I act when something I've believed for hundreds of years turns out to be wrong.’ ‘What do you mean?’ she asked. He stopped and turned to face her. ‘Rose,’ he began, ‘do you know who that child was?’ ‘Mary said his name was Jesus.’ Rose answered. ‘That's right. Now does anything about that name seem familiar to you?’ he asked. ‘Kind of.’ she responded. ‘But I'm not completely sure.’”

Really? “Kind of”? The Doctor has an excuse for not knowing who Jesus because he has done so much that his memory might get jumbled up sometimes. While you who has lived on Earth for more than a decade do not! How can you NOT know who Jesus is you dumb blonde?!?!

So Doctor Who tells Rose who the baby was and she exclaims; “That's impossible!”

“Impossible” Count: 2

The two try to wrap their head around what just happened until they decide that they will just go back to the TARDIS and try to figure out what happened in the morning. They walked into the TARDIS and see an elderly man in robes sitting on the ground. That person is the prophet Isaiah from the Old Testament. He greets them and Rose reacts by saying “’How do you know our names?’ Rose asked. ‘We've just met you.’”

And this is Crazy. But he’s the Doctor. Allons-y, maybe?

He says that he knows many things and that God has sent him to them to understand the magnitude of what they just saw. “Sent by whom?”

…Take a wild guess…

Isaiah explained that he was sent by God and now Isaiah was sent to take them on a journey. The Doctor refuses saying that it is his TARDIS and he’ll do what he wants with it. Isaiah replies by saying, “I never said that we would be traveling by your methods, Doctor.” And so the chapter ends with Isaiah taking them away in a big flash of light. The next chapter begins with the three being taken to where modern day Turkey was on some unknown date where it is raining profusely. Isaiah says that they are here to learn of God’s promises. When the Doctor asks why it is raining so hard, Isaiah says that it will make a world-wide deluge that will take out nearly all of the life on planet Earth. “Impossible.”

“Impossible” Count: 3

Isaiah continues by saying that the event will occur because of mankind being a bunch of idiots. The Doctor continues to be baffled while Isaiah shows them the flood and Noah’s ark. This continues until Isaiah fast forwards to the end and shows the two the ark finally hitting dry land and the people praising god for finally getting them on dry land. Rose then asks “Who are they praising?”

…Really?...

The chapter ends with Isaiah taking them to another place. The next chapter begins by telling them that the next lesson is the glory of God.

Is this essentially some kind of fancy Sunday School lesson? Because I think that the Doctor would do some backtracking by himself if he thought that he just saw Jesus. I don’t see him getting up the next morning after seeing that and saying “Let’s go see some aliens from Sector V!”

The next chapter begins with Rose and the Doctor getting teleported to the middle of a field at night. In the said field there is a man in his mid-twenties who is sleeping on rocks as a pillow. The man is Jacob, and he is on a journey to a relative’s house. The Doctor then asks what they are doing there.

Ok, now I’m convinced that the Doctor is now suffering from short-term Amnesia.

After Isaiah reiterates why they are there, the man wakes up to a beam of light and sees a ladder appearing from the Earth to the sky with angels (not THOSE angels) walking down and up the ladder. God then tells Jacob that he is blessed and that he will have millions upon millions of descendants. After the voice leaves, Rose asks if that was actually God talking.

…

After some talk about what they just witnessed and Jacob’s past, the chapter concludes with them leaving to go to the next place. The next place in which they leave to turns out to be a boat. This is where our next chapter begins. The boat is going through an extremely heavy storm where Isaiah informs them of their next lesson: the Generosity of God. On the ship is none other than the famous piece of whale chow himself; Jonah. Once again, the Doctor and Rose do not know who Jonah is, and so Isaiah explains to them who he is.

This is all getting a tad BORING now, isn’t it?

Jonah, while being interrogated on the ship, tries to reason with the sailors and tell them why he attempted to flee from God in order to not go to Nineveh but ultimately sacrifices himself for the crew and has himself thrown into the sea, where he is then gobbled up by the whale. Isaiah teleports them to Nineveh where Jonah is seen prophesying to the people until the King buckles to his command. This is where the chapter ends. The next chapter begins with a person named Lot, Jacob’s father’s cousin being followed by two men. We are then informed that the next lesson is the Wrath of God.

Hopefully something interesting will happen.

Isaiah then stops them outside the house.

Or not.

Isaiah asks if they are hungry and gives them food. After they eat food and drink Isaiah produced for them, Isaiah then says they can enter. They go to outside Lot’s house to see lots of men (GET IT?!?!?) surrounding the house attempting to break in. Those people want to get the angels to “commit vile, immoral acts of sin with the two.”

I ALREADY REVIEWED THREE YAOI, CAN’T I GET A BREAK?!?!?

Lot tried to get the men to leave, but was getting pushed aside. The angels quickly pulled him in as the angels make the entire group of men blind. The angels inform Lot that the place he lives, Sodom and Gomorra, is going to be destroyed and that he and his family must leave and never turn back. They do so, but as they run, Lot’s wife turns around and because she does turns into a pillar of salt. After this, they then leave to see their next lesson, which ends the chapter. The next chapter shows them on Mount Carmel where they will be shown the power of God.

Does the Doctor REALLY need to be informed about this stuff? Like I said before, I’d think he’d have done that research on his OWN.

On this mountain we see a man named Elijah and his prophets having a showdown against prophets for the god Baal. This showdown, as I have called it, has two different altars for two different gods. Whichever god shows his presence because of the sacrifice on the altar wins. First up is Baal. Their prophets start making bizarre chants, dances, fires and eventually cut themselves to get Baal to show up. In the end, their work goes in vain as no sign emerges. When Elijah tries, God blasts the altar with fireballs from heaven after a couple of prayers, thus making them victorious.

And our lovely contestants on Team God get the fabulous prize of continuing to live! Team Baal…not so much.

After seeing ANOTHER gory death scene, the Doctor thinks that he and Rose should just go, but Isaiah convinces them that the final three lessons are the most important and that he must stay. The Doctor and Rose agree, thus ending the chapter. On a side note, the Doctor is becoming more like himself as the story continues, no longer that ‘What? IMPOSSIBLE!’ guy we saw in earlier chapters. Anyways, the next chapter begins with people watching three people scarred and bleeding carrying a cross on their backs down a road.

Ah yes. Take the girl who is squeamish after every death so far, and show her Jesus getting tortured. I know this is important, but come ON Isaiah!

Rose then exclaims “That’s horrible!”

You know, Rose says “That’s horrible!” more than the Doctor says “Impossible!” I should have made a counter for that instead…

After the three men walk down the long and winding road, the men finally reach their destination: on top of a hill. The guards place them on their crosses, with the man in the middle crying out for his “Father” to forgive him. Rose then asks who he is.

WHAT!?!?!? Ok, I can understand the manger, that can be obscure. I can understand her getting shocked every five seconds. But THIS?!? Who is that? IT’S A GUY ON A CROSS. THAT IMAGE IS THE SYMBOL OF CHRISTIANITY AND EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER COULD TELL YOU THAT IT IS FLIPPIN’ JESUS. WOW ROSE. JUST…WOW.

Isaiah tells them that the guy on the cross in Jesus.

You don’t say?

And then the Doctor remembers seeing this man as a baby and Rose cries and the Doctor attempts to hold back tears. On a side note again, this is actually kinda powerful and impressive. After seeing Jesus as a kid then seeing him on a torture device is a bit of a hard thing to sit through. BUT the Doctor has been through a lot and I don’t see him really see him crying over this.  Continuing on, people continue to mock Jesus as he dies on the cross until he eventually dies. But before this Rose explains why she didn’t know all this stuff.

Oh please do.

She “never paid any attention to religion.”

She never…paid…attention…to religion…There are a huge number of episodes I could point to right now where she not only TALKS about religion but there is even an episode where she is IN A FREAKIN’ CHURCH, but I won’t. I’m just going to not comment on anything more. I’m done. No more jokes.  None. I just…no. I’m done. See you in the next fanfic!

When Jesus dies, Rose starts to cry once more as an earthquake rattles the Earth breaking the temple in two. The chapter ends with Isaiah telling Rose that she doesn’t have to cry anymore and that the next stop will surely lift her spirits. The next chapter begins with the three teleporting in on an earthquake. When the quick earthquake ends, Isaiah informs Rose and the Doctor that they are approximately three days in the future. They go and see that two women are at the front of a cave where an angel tells the two that Jesus is gone and has risen from the dead just like the Bible says. However, unlike the Bible, that angels then jumped off the rock that he sat on in front of the cave, greeted Isaiah and the other two then left.

 

…usually there’d be a comment here…kind of awkward now that the joke guy is gone…

 

Anyways, the three then witness two of the twelve apostles seeing the empty tomb, Jesus revealing himself to Mary, and then it happens. Jesus talks to the Doctor.

 

…Oh, COME ON! There are so many things that can be said right now!...Really?...Fine. For your pleasure, audience here is the conversation:

 

“Still smiling, Jesus turned to the three time-travelers.’Hello Rose, hello Doctor.’ He greeted as He walked over to them. ‘Are you enjoying your journey?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ the Doctor answered. ‘It's been quite the learning experience.’ ‘And what about you, Rose?’ Jesus asked. ‘This has been the most fantastic adventure of my whole life!’ she told Him. ‘Glad to hear it.’ Jesus told her. ‘Now then, I believe we have somewhere to be.’ ‘What do you mean?’ Rose asked. ‘Well, my story must continue, as must your journey.’ Jesus told her. After He said this, Jesus faded away.” Please forgive me as I attempt to wrap this up quickly. After this incredible little thing, the three follow Jesus as he walks and talks with two men about different things when Isaiah teleports himself and the others further in time. This time they are in a different house where a skeptical apostle, Simon, is astounded to see Jesus alive, and after much talk and amazement in the house, Isaiah teleports himself, Rose and the Doctor to their final lesson. The final chapter begins with them being teleported to the house of the apostles. Here Peter gives a stirring speech and Isaiah, at the end, says that their journey is done. Isaiah teleported them to the TARDIS and after Rose says her good-bye to Isiah the Doctor finally asks the two questions that have been bugging him for the whole story. Question 1: How come he could never go to those places before, and Question 2: Are his other incarnations that have died gone into heaven or are they still apart of him. The answer to the first question is that the events are “time-locked” to make sure nothing changes what happens and Isaiah then says that he cannot answer the second question and that he’ll find out one way or another. Isaiah then leaves giving them Bibles (one written in Gallifreyan) and pair of wooden crosses with John 3:16 written on them. And the story then ends on that note where we can assume that the Doctor then changes his name to the Priest and he changes the TARDIS into a flying wooden ark…Ok, the Priest and ark thing never happened, but after reading this book that wouldn’t surprise me!

 

Final Thoughts: This story is a number of things. At times, it’s silly. Other times, it’s just plain boring. While other times, well…you saw what happened to the joke-font-thing. I know I did NOT do over this one that well, mainly because even I got confused over things being said and done in the story. The characters are just kind of there and it essentially gives off a really big Bibleman-type vibe to its ridiculous scenarios, but given the concept, can you really blame it? Would I suggest this story? Well…I don’t particularly know. I mean it can be funny, in it’s silly little way, but at times it just seems to drag on and on and on and on and just…yeah. If it seemed funny in the review, then check it out, if not then this probably isn’t for you.

 

Tips for the writer(s):

1.         Keep the story interesting! This story just kind repeats itself over and over and over with things that I was getting sick and tired of it four chapters in. I know it could be hard with what you were going for, but try and think a little out of the box.

2.         Remember who you are writing! I don’t really feel I need to go over this, but in case you forgot, I’ll tell you again. ROSE KNOWS ABOUT JESUS! It’s not exactly something you look over due to just tuning it out. ‘Nuff said.

 

Ok. Now, that I am back from my very long hiatus, I’ve seen that my views are doing surprisingly well. And with the final Twilight movie coming out now, I think I gotta good idea on what to look at. Next time, I’ll be looking at the vampires from twilight fight off their nightmares…because Freddy’s in town! See you then!

 

Yes, I know Halloween has come and gone. Doesn’t mean I won’t do anything horror related!

Author's Note

I have returned! Forgive me, school work is complicated. Anyways, same gist as last time and PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! It can be about anything, just please say somethin'! If it's just "Hey!" I'm cool with that!