Zombies'N'S**t Ep. 63

Not Getting Ahead In Life

BOOOOM!!

My face shattered like a really gross porcelain mask.  I could see past time and space beyond the realm of the physical-

Psshhht!!  Nah!  I couldn't seeor hear S**T!  I staggered, somehow remained standing and felt another chunk of my chest decide this whole single entity jam is overrated.  On the plus side, plenty of pellets found a new home.  I was getting a little annoyed at this point.  I tried raising my hands in a non-threatening way; this was met with several fingers being torn from my hand by what felt like another bullet.

I guessed the general trajectory of the bullets and used my remaining good hand to flip the shooter the bird.

I'm not sure what did it, but I felt hands grab me and pull me.  I stumbled to where I was being guided.  I could hear nothing either, so I shrugged and started idly fiddling with my new stumps.  From sheer boredom, I started to dance a little in place.

The familiar material that was my mulched face was glopped onto my neck by what felt like a dustpan.  That would have been great, if I then didn't need to pick out various chunks of masonry, wood and other debris from the slowly reforming mass of mush.  One of the things I pulled out felt like a misshapen bullet.  I gently reached out and groped until I found a body.  I used my hands to explore and find the others' arm.  I lifted it up and placed the twisted lead into their palm, closed their hand around it and pat their hand reassuringly.

I tried doing something with my face, like a reassuring smile, but I think it just kinda......

Bubbled.

THAT was a weird sensation.

Bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble

Something smacked me.

I suppose I should stop with that.

It took a while, but after an agonizingly long time, my head reformed enough that I could hear out one ear and one eye could see.  So, apparently, my little bubble adventure made someone sick.  My mouth wasn't fully formed yet, so I couldn't smile in satisfaction, but I tried.  Someone yelped when they saw me try.  Carl sighed, quickly snatched their cricket bat and drove it into my face.  I fell backwards and gurgled indignantly.  Carl yanked the bat out and returned it.  He looked annoyed.  Sophia looked a little green and Kat looked a little scared.  I rose and heard Sophia take up where they had, apparently left off, "Okay, one thing is agreed.  We need to leave the area, for now.  We need to handle this slowly."

Carl and Kat nodded, the Normies looked very uncomfortable but they agreed as well.  I waved my arms to get everyone's attention and tried to lead them without the use of my mouth.  Nobody seemed keen on that.  I put my hands on my hips and stomped up to Sophia and gestured vigorously at the Normies, my fellow zombies and in the direction we should go.

Sophia gave me a look that made me stop moving, "Yes, what is it boy?  Did you wanna play?  Wanna fetch?  Fetch the stick?"  I did what I could to glare at her and made: "I am not pleased to be treated in such a demeaning fashion!" motions.

Meaning I stomped my foot petulantly and crossed my arms.

Sophia grinned at me and turned to everyone else, "Lead the way, Max."  Everyone set of in a formation of blatant distrust.  I stood still long enough to make frustrated gestures.  Once I vented my impotent rage and dug around to collect the few fingers that were blown off, I slouched after the others.  Everyone was really quiet as I haphazardly crammed my fingers back onto the stumps, so I tried to make small talk.  I got closer to one of the Normies and they reacted like I was wielding a running chainsaw in an aggressive manner.  I found that odd.  My fingers were clearly on backwards, one of my eyes was still drifting aimlessly in the socket and my mouth resembled a slimy cave entrance.  How was that threatening?

I gurgled in a friendly manner.

Why was everyone looking at me with hostility and disgust?  Making friends is hard.