Zombies'N'S**t Episode 61

The Potent Truth

Carl looked at Sophia, "We don't want to go feral, but neither do we want to be destroyed in such a hideous fashion."  He looked at me and his expression grew remarkably grim, "John, we need to talk."  I frowned, but before I could respond, Kat looked at Carls' expression nodded sharply.  I looked between them, but Carl turned and started walking away.  I sputtered and scrambled after him.  I caught up with him outside.  Rain still fell and I had a hard time seeing his silhouette in the dim light.  Again, before I could speak, he asked, "What do you remember, John?"  I frowned, "Uh, well, I remember waking up.  Stumbling out of the morgue.  Meeting Kat-"  He interrupted me, "About your death, John."

I froze.  His tone was weary, pained and...tormented?

"Er, I remember hearing a flat-line on a monitor."

Carl didn't move but to look up into the rain, "John, you remember so little.  You were brought into the hospital with numerous gunshot wounds."

I suspiciously asked, "How do you know?"

Carl finally turned to face me, "Because I operated on you."

I stared at him.

He gave a harsh, bitter laugh, "I was a trauma surgeon.  They wheeled you in, set you on the table and I tried to save your life.  I spent hours hunched over you.  The world was going to hell, and I was struggling to save my patient."

I couldn't speak.

"You died on my table, John."

I croaked weakly, "What is my name?"

Carl shook his head.

I snarled wordlessly and punched him in the jaw.  He staggered and straightened, "John, I-"

From deep within my chest an agony erupted, searing throughout my body.  I slugged him again, screaming, "WHAT IS MY NAME?!"  He straightened and spread his arms and gave me a sad smile, "John."

I made an odd sound then.  Like a wounded animal choking and grunting at the same time.

Carl spoke barely above a whisper, "You were brought in as an unknown.  Nobody knew who you were.  When you died, nobody stepped forward to claim your body.  We couldn't find a record of you.  You were a John Doe."

I stumbled in place, "Why are you telling me this?  Why now?"

Carl stopped smiling, "I was ashamed.  I was ashamed I couldn't save you.  I'm telling you now so you understand: I don't want to watch you die again.  What you told her could mean the end for you."

I stared at my hands, "I trust her."

He put a hand on my shoulder, "So do I.  But she may be trustworthy.  But if this becomes common knowledge, others won't be so understanding or trustworthy.  When Kat brought you from the morgue, I resolved myself to looking after you.  We agreed to take care of you until..."  He trailed off and I looked up at him, "Until what?"

Carl looked away, "Until the end.  Your memory has always been a problem.  We taught you the new ways of the world.  We knew you needed some stability or you would go feral before long.  I was determined to keep you safe..

I heard his voice catch as he snarled, "You didn't have a family.  I was determined to give you one."

I felt empty.  I heard the droning of a flat-lining monitor ringing in my ears.  No name.  No family.  I knew these things.  I looked up at Carl, "Feral.  Am I going feral, Carl?"

Having gotten down to the real reason he led me out here, Carl sighed, "Yes."

My voice was lost, "Are you sure?"

Carl nodded, "I'm sorry."

I inhaled a shuddering breath, "How long?"

Carl said nothing for a long time.  When he spoke, I could barely hear his voice over the rain.

"I don't know, John.  But I think soon."

Soon.

Soon.

Soon.