Chapter 5- Revelations

I rose from the bed, eyes locked on Sam's.  I prowled around the edge of the bed and felt my voice come out like a rad scorpion's venom, "Well?  Did you get enough of a look?"  Sam opened and closed her mouth a few times before she responded meekly, "I'm sorry, I was curious-" I interrupted her savagely, "By violating my privacy?  Some welcome to your lovely town.  I suppose I should be grateful you took an interest in me."  She recoiled from my words and stood, holding her hand towards me, voice pleading, "I'm sorry!  I jus-"  I gave a wordless snarl and she quailed.  I found myself advancing on her, but forced myself to stop.  My breathing was strained as I fought to control my own temper.

Sam seemed to find her strength and her voice gained an edge, "If it's such a secret, why did you get it tattooed on your face?"  I wanted to snap at her, but I reined in my fury.  After all, she had a point.  I took a deep breath and growled, "It's personal.  Not secret.  Personal means none of your business."  Her eyes narrowed, "Then why are you so sensitive about it?"  I opened my mouth to retort, but found I had no explanation.  Instead I tried to shrug it off, "It's a long story.  Long, stupid and painful."  She frowned, "Well, I don't have anywhere to go."  She settled back into her chair and my temper was utterly derailed as she put her chin in her hands and looked up at me expectantly like it was story time.

Nonplussed, I stared at her.  She waved a hand for me to begin.  I shook my head and growled, "No."  She sighed and said, "You don't know me, so I'm going to give you a crash course on me.  I'm stubborn and will never give up on something until I'm satisfied I accomplished as much as I could.  You are stuck with me, so spill."  I sat on her bed and watched her.  I had met people like her.  They were irritatingly persistent; I found myself believing she would hound me until she was satisfied.  Once again, I believed she meant what she said.  I grappled with my desire for some peace for the duration of my visit and my desire to keep my privacy.

Her almost childlike expression of interest disarmed me, somehow.  Innocence like that was for people who had not lived in this hell for very long.  I sighed heavily, still wrestling my temper into it's corner, "They are runes I got shortly after joining the Wolves."  Sam tilted her head to one side in a strangely bird-like fashion, "Runes?  What are those?"  I shrugged, "I don't really know.  A frie- Someone I used to know told me they were writing in a different language.  An old language.  He convinced me to get these with him."  She had frowned at my sudden change of direction, but didn't bring it up.  Instead she asked, "Why did he want you to get them with him?"

I shifted, uncomfortable, "We were close."  I stated simply.  She smiled gently at me, "How close?  Sounds to me like you were very close."  I nodded, "Very close."  She pushed her head forward in a gesture of frustrated curiosity.  I looked away and muttered, "He was a dear friend.  We joined together.  We fought together.  He was my best friend."  She looked at me very seriously, "Did he die?"  I grunted gruffly, "In my arms."  She sucked air in through her teeth, "Ouch.  I'm sorry."  I shrugged again, "That is our life.  We chose it.  We all know the consequences.  I told you before, I've seen comrades and friends die protecting others.  Good people.  I had to tell some of those families someone was never coming home."

I lay down on the bed and stared at her dingy ceiling, "The Wolves have suffered in service to others."  Her voice was gentle, "I understand a little better why you were so angry before.  Again, I'm sorry."  I gave a noncommittal noise as my only response.  I didn't realize she had stood until the bed creaked as she settled on the edge next to me.  She looked down at me, "We've all lost loved ones and comrades in this world.  I understand your pain."

I remembered that dark basement.  I remembered the pain, the loneliness.  The fear.

I looked away from her, "Smoothskin, there is so much you don't know about loss.  One thing I've learned is to accept the reality.  You will learn it one day as well.  It's unavoidable.  You said it yourself.  We are surround by the dead and dying."  I stopped as my voice finally gave out entirely.  I had used it too much after too long of inactivity.  She must have thought my voice broke with emotion, because she patted my shoulder and gave me a gentle smile, "It's okay to feel sad."  I shook my head and my voice was hoarse and scarcely above a whisper, "Too much talk."  She caught on and laughed, "Oh!  Sorry.  You rest."

I managed a growl and turned away from her and settled to try sleeping again.  It didn't come for a long time.  I heard Sam's breathing become regular and deep long before my mind settled into a grudging lull and allowed me to drift back in the bosom of the nightmares.